[Kelli]

Some of us mention Black culture on this board quite a bit and I presume that it might be significant to each of us in different ways. I also think there might be some non-Black folks who do not have a full understanding of what it really means to us individually, and as a whole. The recent interesting discussions on Black families, food, and the plight of Black men has left me wondering the following - When you speak of Black culture, what does it really mean to you and what are some of the aspects that you fully embrace? How is it a part of your daily life? Also, at the risk of sounding “not Black enough”, what aspects would you "run to the hills" to get away from?

There are so many answers but I’ll begin with two things. The Black Church. Nothing symbolizes the “culture” more to me then the place that has historically been a source of giving and receiving assistance, hope, and strength for the Black community. IMO, it is truly the heart of the community. It’s been a constant in our evolution, has fed our spirits during slavery, and was our meeting place during the Civil Rights Movement. Through bombings and burnings, it stands strong. It serves as the center of the community's spiritual growth and I believe that time will prove that the Black church will be the center of the Black economic growth as well. The fellowship and connections run deep, and you can’t find a better “show” in town.

I know I’m probably sounding like an old fart on this one, but I have a big problem with the fact that we continue to degrade each other (mostly women being degraded) in certain rap and hip hop songs. Now I’m not against rap or hip hop by any means and I enjoy some of the current stuff, though I’m more an R&B girl. I do love old school rap because it was fun and funny at times. I like the political rap like Public Enemy because they were talking about significant issues, and the beats were slammin’. And as quiet as it’s kept I used to jam to Dre’s “The Chronic”, and there’s something about Snoop I find appealing. But “Laughy Taffy” and some of this other crap??? What the heck are they talking about? Actually, I know. I just can’t believe people get record deals to sing this stuff. Why must our men call us “female dogs” and “garden tools” and think about us as merely the sum of our parts? Why the lack of respect? Why can’t we get back to the time when we were considered their queens? Why can’t our young ladies ACT like queens?

Okay, I’m off my rant. Interested in hearing from you guys. Just a reminder for those that are interested. Chat room tonight 10:30pm EST.

[Sleeplvr]

Good topic!

[nikkib365]

I'm with you on that. I won't even allow my children to listen to that vulgar stuff. It sends out the message to our children that it is okay to view women in a degrading way and continues the vicious cycle.

[dine]

THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, Kelli for posting this. I agree with you 100%. I feel that its time that black people swing the pendulum back. We have gone too far. I am appalled at the way women of color are expressed in music and the media. How did this happen? How did we allow ourselves to get here. These terms are just accepted now. We have to take a stand and stop it. I'm not a "b" or 'h", niether are my mother, sister, daughter, cousins, ect., but in these songs we are all protrayed as such. It's wrong, wrong, wrong.

I'm aslo right behind you on the church in our culture. It's a vital part of our heritage and future. IMO, if we were to empbrace that church now as we did back in the day, maybe we wouldn't have gone so far out there.

[Sleeplvr]

The church is the most important part of black culture. I know that whenever I meet someone new who is AA, one of the first things they want to know is what church I attend. I saw a study a few years back that said over 90% of black people belong to a church. If you don’t belong to or attend church you will be invited and hounded until you go. It’s easier get up and go.

Kelli you are right. Church IS the best show in town. Every time I go the sermon is something I needed to hear that day. I remember two years ago the mother’s day sermon was the best I ever heard for that occasion. The pastor wanted to recognize all who served in any maternal role. He ran through a list including your play aunts and the neighbor who would run you home when you were somewhere you shouldn’t be.
I hate to admit this but I one of the reasons I chose my current church is because of the choir. I make sure I get there early so I won't miss any of the music.

Barbershop/beauty shop - That is the place to be for meeting and greeting second to church. DH didn’t grow up with the barbershop experience and I was the one who introduced him to it. He doesn’t say he’s getting his hair cut anymore but says he’s going to check things out at the barbershop. He loves all the discussions they have there.
You know what kind of relationships the ladies have with their hairdressers. They know pretty much ALL your business and usually give pretty good advice. It’s almost like going to a confessional. I’ve had mostly male hairdressers over the years and they held my secrets tight. If you spend 10, 20 or 30 years seeing someone every week you are going to get close. Hair care is a social thing because we spend so much time on it.

Preserving family is important. I always get asked about my family and who I’m related to. That’s one of the reasons we as a people, have such a complex relationship with adoption. It’s okay to adopt but almost a sin to place a child for adoption. Our history in this country is one of the reasons why we are so obsessive about preserving family relations whether it’s bio or not. I love the concept of having people who are not related legally or biologically being given the same privileges as anyone else in the family.

The thing that bothers me about black culture is when one of us lets the rest of us down. They KNOW we are viewed as a group but still act crazy. I’m probably going to end up one of those old ladies chasing kids home.

[Lexie]

I agree with the examples of culture that have been given. I think family comes to my mind. Family and extended family and story-telling by older members of the family to the younger ones.

I would also say the Historically Black College scene. I went to college in Wash ,DC and I have fond memories of going over to Howard Univ campus on a Friday afternoon to watch the Greeks step. It was great!!! And the schools like FAMU that have those legendary bands......I loved the movie Drum Line BTW.

And how about New Year's food......did you eat black eyed peas, greens etc to welcome the new year and bring good luck.

I also think about colorful expressions I used to hear people say.....like..."when the eagle flies" or "duece and quarter" or "choke and side"

[Sleeplvr]

Originally Posted by Lexie

"duece and quarter"

Thanks for that one. It brings back so many memories. How about those shade tree mechanics? Gotta love them.

[punchkin]

I agree with everything that is said thus far. As I was reading my mind begun to run back. When I was a girl growing up, everybodys kids belonged to everybody. The black communities were so bonded. When there were tragedy in the family, the whole neighborhood came together. One of the greatest times for me, was sitting around the fireplace listening to my gparents, and parents talk.
There are a lot of those things that I try to keep alive in my kids now. I want them to always be proud of their culture. Blacks have always taken pride in the way they dressed EVEN IN SLAVERY. tHAT IS A PART OF OUR HERITAGE. BUT, what is going on now. Going to school, shopping, in houseshoes, pj pants. what the hey? Sagging pants, what is really going on. Everytime I see those sagging pants i try to educate. Do they really not realize that mess came from slavery. That our men folk had to walk around like that because the shackels and chains of bondage [esp. prison camps] were so heavy around their waists, ankles, and wrists. And the disrespect, uh, don't get me started.
I'm so grateful that God has always been, and will forever will be, loving and merciful.
I'll get off my soapbox now.

[sneezyone]

For me, it's all about the family - the confused and the grounded (I've been both). I love my play cousins and pseudo-aunts. I love the fact that death, divorce, and the identity of our mothers has no effect on our relationships with eachother. I love that my fam can pull a party together on 24 hours notice and have everyone put in an appearance, especially when chits are served.

I love that we can gossip and shoot the crap with people nationwide and they'll get it - s'like having a secret language or something.

I have a love/hate relationship with the church. I love the music and mostly love the people but hate all the frontin'. Just once I want to roll out of bed with a bun in my head, throw on some capris and a t-shirt, and drive my Hyundai up to the lot and see what happens. In DH's words, I'm too skerred. (That's OK, he says, 'cause he's skerred too.)

I'm tired of today's music, with the notable exception of Kanye and the like - I feel like rap and R&B have been corrupted. Everytime they come out with a new tune that's nothin' but a beat/tune and five meaningless phrases I want to scream!! Geeze, whetever happened to lyrical originality and artistry??

Now, I'm a little younger than y'all, but I love me some old-school LL, Heavy D, Kool Moe Dee, Busta, Queen Latifah, MC Lyte, Tribe Called Quest, Makavelli himself, Dre and Snoop. I think where most of the original rap artists were documentary and very individual in terms of style (hence, their staying power) - these modern one-hit-wonders and rump-shakin' women come a dime a dozen.

And heaven help the child who comes into my home and announces that he/she is in love with a stripper. I'm with you sleep - they will be chased all the way home! (And before they even ask, no, I don't care if strippers need love too!)

Edited to add...
"when the eagle flies" or "duece and quarter" or "choke and side" What the heck does this mean? Do I need to call my older bro for a translation? *hanging head in shame* Man...I'm still having to sit at the little kids' keyboard and I's 30 now, I's 30 now!

[radkat]

For me black culture means big Sunday dinners and inviting the whole family over. With kids running through the house. Granny telling stories about her childhood. Laughter and happiness drifting through the house, fueled by the smells of fried chicken, cornbread and apple pie.

Big barbeques in the summer.

The smell of hair grease when you get your hair pressed. Or getting your hair done in the kitchen. I can remember falling asleep while my mother braided my hair.

Music is a big part of our culture. Too bad it doesn't reflect more postitvely on us now. Music should be a tool to move people... mobilize them. Not degrade them.

Church..... I have a lot of problems with churches. So I don't go. I love church music and the message, but there's too much showboating for my taste.

Why can't church be the type of place you can go to in your everyday clothes ? Does matter if you dress plain or fancy as long as you get His message ?

[Fe2002]

It definitely revolves around family for me - the closeness of extended family. I remember when my "Aunt" Mary died and I prepared to take time off from work, HR was attempting to figure out the how much bereavement time I was due... well from the company's perspective I was due about ONE DAY! My "aunt" was really my grandmother's first cousin... WHATEVA! It took one day just to get me off the floor when I heard she had passed.

Also, the early weekend morning cleaning my mom would make us do about once a month... You knew it was time when you awoke to "Me and Mrs. Jones" playing early in the morning... Today when the cleaning mood hits me (very rarely) I put on some old Stevie Wonder (Songs in the Key of Life, i think... the one with Isn't She Lovely on there) and when I'm all done I still do what my mother used to do... light an incense, sit back and admire all my hard work.

Wow, thanks for starting this thread... just thinking back to those days made me smile this morning.

[Lexie]

You probably need to ask an older relative--

when the eagle flies----means payday

a duece and a quarter---is a model of car back in the day--I think it was a Buick

Choke and side---is a peanut butter and jelly sandwich--

And here is another one. Apparently my great grandfather was tall, had a mean stare and was "black as 50 midnights in a coal cellar"-----isn't that a colorful description ( taken from one of my uncle's stories about his grandfather). I guess the man was dark skinned....huh

[LisaCA]

pretty funny. I think black culture is knowing all this stuff, even if it's not you. Mom raised us to be Episcopalians, so none of that moving in church-all passion checked at the door, thank you . Dad was baptist, but went on his own. He loves loud, all day bring the food church services. While I understand that's part of black culture, it's not me.

and I naturally don't eat soul food, since I never liked meat. I used to dream that I was adopted since I clearly didn't belong with these meat eatin', cook the greens til they're grey and don't forget the fatback folks.

And I don't listen to much r&b or rap, I'm more an alternative rock, ska, reggae and reggaeton type myself.

so naturally I feel defining blackness and black culture is up to each one of us. I come from all that everyone mentioned, but i've taken it and made something different, something also black. Same with all of you. I just get bent out of shape when folks define blackness a certain way. My sis jokes that if it weren't for my husband I'd be the whitest black person she knows, lol. But that's my sis, and she can joke like that . Pretty funny coming from her, lol. Anyone else and they'll see just how black this angry black woman can get, lol. But there are universals, mostly from older relatives from the south.

my sis and I were talking about being black last night. Remember the movie "Hollywood Shuffle" about 20 year ago? That movie was hysterically funny. we saw it in boston in a predominantly white movie theatre and it was so funny. the black folks were dying, gasping for air it was so funny, esp at certain scenes (like the jheri curl scene) and you could tell most of the whites just didn't get it. It would have made a great documentary, just watching two worlds collide. The running joke about
"there's always work at the post office" killed me. who doesn't have family members who worked at the post office? Another funny movie like that was "undercover brother." It was like two tracks running, a black one w/inside jokes and a white one.

so here's what being black means to me:

-getting your hair done by mom-smiles and screams

-big sunday breakfasts of homemade biscuits, eggs and bacon for dh.

-sunday family dinner, which in our house is homemade chinese food, lol.

-certain foods on special holidays that black folks have, like macaroni and cheese

-dad barbequing on every holiday and special occasion. I barbeque tofu, which he still doesn't understand, lol.

-knowing family will tell you what they think, whether you like it or not (for decades til you change ). my wedding I made sure to have food they'd like cuz i knew i'd hear it forever. I still hear about the raspberry dressing on my salad, and that wedding was in 1990).

-knowing black folks will back you no matter how stupid you behave or how you treat other black folks (the list is long but I'll just list my favs here: OJ, Clarence Thomas, Condolezza Rice, Vanessa Williams).

-old people in huge american cars, lol. without black folks, who would still buy them?

-all day saturday at the beauty parlor . Sis and I hate, I mean, hate, spending the day at the beauty parlor. Culture, maybe, but really annoying. So I never went on saturday and now I sport a "no hair" cut (since 1994). sis went bald shortly after I led the way.

that's just a few random thoughts about blackness

[crick]

Originally Posted by Kelli

I also think there might be some non-Black folks who do not have a full understanding of what it really means to us individually, and as a whole.

**Raises Hand**

Kelli...Why do you always get me drawn in your threads???

Why does family, bbq, or the sunday breakfasts/dinners mean Black culture to those of you who have expressed these things?

I come from a family that places family as a top priority. Our family gatherings are huge, someone is always shooing the little ones out of the kitchen or catching them to make them peel potatos, the Aunts are the bosses (gramma was but she's passed), and it's loud, fun and yes, a bit obnoxious. We are extremely loyal to each other and God help those who cross us! Even if we don't like Cousin Joe and think he's a boob, we still have his back if he needs it. We have a lot of members of the family that are not actually related to us, but that's just a minor detail and we don't care. "Nice to meet you Auntie!" Have all those dishes and traditions handed down from previous generations and the stories too. Every child in the family is "our" child. You see a child hitting another, you don't go find his mom, you tell the child yourself to knock it off.

I find the Italians, Greeks, and other cultures are very similar in a lot of ways described here. The family is a huge element to a lot of cultures, including my own, but I never thought of it as a "White" or really even a culture event. (I'm not counting the food/menu, because food is a culture thing in my mind)

But family? Why do y'all see it as part of Black Culture?

And by the way...can I just say that I consider Sweet Potatos with marshmallows to be a New England thing as my dad grew up with that in Boston and made it every holiday dinner. Yech...lol.

[sneezyone]

Just out of curiosity...

Do other folks do the matching family t-shirts at reunions? We just got our order form last week.