[AdrienneG]

I've suceeded at breaking every parenting rule I had before this baby was born.

You guys don't know this, but last week, my baby went lethargic and we had to call 911. He spent 3 days at Johns Hopkins being checked out for everything, poked, prodded, spinal tap, cat scan to find out why he went lethargic.

In the ambulance ride, I prayed to God that this child not die and that he is healthy and thrives under my care, and I said that I would continue to take good care of him.

The hospital experience left him traumatized, waking up from sleep screaming, sucking on the back of his hands so hard they were bruised blue, and he had needle marks on his body and still has the handprint on his lower back from when the doctor held him down to do the spinal to rule out meningitis.

Mind you I'm in the process of waiting for the ICPC so I can bring him back to my state to be adopted by myself and my husband.

I used to have an anti-pacifier rule and don't put the baby in bed with you rule.... well I broke those because the pacifier soothed him when he was scared or in a lot of pain or remembering the hospital experience....and putting him in bed with us allowed us to be sure he didnt stop breathing or something, and allowed me to reassure him that he is okay when he woke up screaming.

This baby is only 2 weeks old, it has been a rough journey...and tonight I am concerned because he sounds like he has phlegm when he breathes...and Im calling his pediatrican at 8:30am on the dot after calling her office and being told its not an emergency and to call her during office hours.

This baby is funny, he smiles when he hears my voice and holds his head up already! He multitasks by pooping while drinking his formula, or even belching (not burping!) while drinking his formula.

He likes when I sing "Dont Worry About A Thing" as awful as I sound and calms down when I swaddle him and rock him when he is overwhelmede and tired.

Do put us in your prayers as I call his doctor tomorrow morning and as I wait for the ICPC.

[Shoshana]

Oh my gosh, Adrienne, what a terrifying experience for you and the little one. I think it's good that you broke your pacifier and bed rule -- he really needs that extra comfort and security right now. I'm sending good wishes for his continued good health and your continued successes in parenting!

[AwaitingBeloved]

Hi Adrienne,
What a very traumatic first couple of weeks for babe and for mom and dad. ((((hugs)))) I'm sorry for your fears and your stresses. I hope that tomorrow you'll be able to be seen by the pediatrician and get some answers. Could he have asthma? I'm just curious where he is so young with phlegm, it's unlikely he would have any infection already, but who knows?

I feel bad when you said how you're breaking all your own rules. Try not to put that kind of pressure on you, and even though he's been with you since birth, I do believe that even newborns experience sadness with parting from their birthmom, that's the only voice they heard for their whole life to this point. So I don't think it's necessarily bad to keep him with you in your room especially if you're concerned about his breathing.

Also, the thing with the pacifier... I heard a new study last week--at least it was new to me--that SIDS occurs 80% less in kids who use pacifiers. I don't know why, must have something to do with keeping their airway open, but maybe that'll make you feel a little better about using one. Don't be too hard on yourself. You're a good mom to be bending your rules to meet your son's needs. Sometimes that's more important than what society says is right or not right.

Best Wishes to you and I hope that tomorrow is a better day for all of you. It must be terrifying. Hang in there, and I'll pray for you.

[AdrienneG]

thank you shoshana, by the way i am convinced that Adoption org has the cutest baby photos Ive seen on a forum anywhere! I am loving that baby pic you have posted. Once i figure out how to post pics, (I am challenged in that area) I'll be able to have Jonathan's photo up as my avatar...and post photos of Jonathan here.

[AdrienneG]

Thanks AwaitingBeloved for sharing. I think he heard many voices in utero because he heard his birth mother's voice and even he heard 50 Cents's voice (i know! i know!birth mother is a fan, said she admires how he overcame a lot of struggles in his life) heard his birth grandmother's voice and his cousins and his aunts' voice as well and heard my voice even before he was born I think that is why he's so comfortable with all of us.

I cherish that he had that...time with his birth mother when he came into the world from her womb.

I'll be okay with breaking my own rules... I guess I was commenting on how life throws unexpected surprises your way and that I just have to adjust to those surprises...and bending or breaking my own rules in order to give him what he needs is what I ended up doing...and thats okay...i expected parenting to be in itself important on-the-job-training

[Montraviatommyg]

Adrienne,

My prayers are with you and don't beat yourself up about breaking your parenting rules either. You couldn't possibly think of every case scenario and there's nothing wrong with that. You WILL be a good parent as you have already proved that putting a precious baby first.

Pip

[Guspiv]

I pray that little Jonathan receieves a clean bill of health. As far as breaking rules, every baby is different, sometimes you have to do what you got to do

[crick]

Will keep you and your son in my thoughts. What a terrifying experience and I hope your dr. finds the problem!

The rules...more like a set of self doubt list in my mind. All you really can do is use the ones that work for you and toss the rest. Think you have the right attitude...it is indeed a hands on learning experience and I'm finding that never really changes. Parenting is the most creative "quick on your feet, make a decision on the spot and fly without wings" type job there is. The wings grow of course, but that's the key I think...to keep growing and doing the best job you know how.

[disack]

First of all, I'm sending positive thoughts for your sweet boy.

Secondly, if using a pacifier and sleeping with a sick baby are the worst "rules" you break/bend as a mom, I am very jealous. Just wait till the 5-second rule (how long the paci can be on the floor w/o washing it) changes into 15 seconds! Or, you could break the ultimate I-will-never-be-like-my-own-mother rule and spit-clean your kid's face! That was devastating for me when I broke that rule. I'm glad to say I only did it once. Now, I have stockpiles of wet wipes everywhere!!

[lmrod55]

What a crazy couple of weeks for you! Sending positive thoughts your way that your son is healthy!

Glad to hear that you are flexible on the rules...I think that is key!

[AdrienneG]

Originally Posted by disack

First of all, I'm sending positive thoughts for your sweet boy.

Secondly, if using a pacifier and sleeping with a sick baby are the worst "rules" you break/bend as a mom, I am very jealous. Just wait till the 5-second rule (how long the paci can be on the floor w/o washing it) changes into 15 seconds! Or, you could break the ultimate I-will-never-be-like-my-own-mother rule and spit-clean your kid's face! That was devastating for me when I broke that rule. I'm glad to say I only did it once. Now, I have stockpiles of wet wipes everywhere!!

HHAHAHAHAHA I actually spit on my hand and dabbed his head to keep his cowlick down when I brushed it LOL

[AdrienneG]

He stopped breathing like that so I didnt have to take him to the doctor.

He is very healthy... he left the hospital with a clean bill of health, and child had everything from RSV test, cat scan, spinal tap, blood work, urine work and they found him healthy. I really think it was the paint fumes because I had the same reaction years ago when someone was spraying next to an office where I was for pests. I literally didnt feel well and passed out.

He woke up at the hospital five minutes after they started checking him out, and woke up screaming. That is the blessing...that he was screaming when he was lethargic and passed out.

Right now he is sleeping in his Amby Baby and smiling in his sleep.

So a for me and my parenting skills

[LisaCA]

it's so scary just how quickly we fall in love. I'm glad he's okay now.

I swore no pacifier and so did her bmom, but dd's need was so strong that everyone in the hospital ran around trying to find one to jam in her mouth, lol. She hung onto it and literally got the shakes when she needed it but couldn't get it in her mouth right away. Thought she'd end up going down the aisle on her wedding day with binky clipped to her dress. But somehow she separated from it when she was 1 year old and we haven't looked back. Look for her on oprah in a few years pointing to this very moment as the source of all evil in her life, lol.

we also slept with dd on occasion, but not in our bedroom, in hers. It reassured her and let her sleep. we stopped at about age 1 too, and so far so good.

you do what you and your baby need you to do .it will all work out.

[AdrienneG]

Originally Posted by FH-LisaCA

She hung onto it and literally got the shakes when she needed it but couldn't get it in her mouth right away. Thought she'd end up going down the aisle on her wedding day with binky clipped to her dress. But somehow she separated from it when she was 1 year old and we haven't looked back. Look for her on oprah in a few years pointing to this very moment as the source of all evil in her life, lol.

This is how he is! He literally gets the shakes if its not in his mouth right away or if its in his mouth but he doesnt realize its in. My mother said I can simply get him off the pacifier by 1, so hope springs eternal!

[Kelli]

Adrienne, I'm so glad your little one is okay. I'll continue to keep you in my thoughts.

Kelli