[angie bell]

hello me and my husband have been married for a year now and i was wondering if the fact that we are 20 years of age should we wait a while he was adopted and i never wanted to have children of my own only because i always felt there were to many children with out family's and i wanted to be there for them but a lot of people tell me wait til im 30 and up to even sign up for any thing but in my heart i know that i am ready not so much to have a child but i know im ready to go to the classes and meeting and i know when the time is right i will be ready for the child boy or girl any race my husband stands by me 100% so if you have any advice please help me


angie bell

[lmrod55]

Hi Angie - Gosh, it is so difficult to say if an agency, lawyer, or more importantly a pbmom would think that you are too young.

My personal opinion is that you are still young and have a lot of things that you could do (travel, explore being a husband and a wife, education?) before you bring a child into the family - however, my opinion doesn't matter. But do I think you need to wait until your 30, No.

If you feel you are truly ready to be a parent, then start the process and see where it takes you. You and your dh are the ones that have to be comforable with moving forward and be prepared for anything the agencies, lawyers might throw in your way as far as doubts.

I wish you well!

[jesia_5]

Hey Angie,

I don't feel you are too young just because there are so many children out there in need of forever families. To adopt though you have to be 21, you can do resipte foster care(take foster kids on weekens) to get a feel though and which age is best for you.

Hope that helped a bit,
Jesia

[supersara1111]

I don't think that you are too young. Many people start their families at your age. It also takes a long time to prepare for adoption .. classes.. paperwork.. finacially... and in many other ways. If you are feeling led to adopt and your husband is on the same page, that is wonderful. I think that many birthmom's would love to have young parents raise their child! Their are many advantages to being young. Just keep doing research to see what is best for you both. Good luck!

[momof3kids]

I don't think you are too young. I was married at 19 and adopted our first child two months shy of age 22. I am nearly 100% certain though that you do need to be a minimum of age 21 though to adopt. As long as you are financially ready and emotionally mature to parent a child, I don't think of any reason why you would get turned down for a homestudy. Good luck! -Susan

[SchmennaLeigh]

Angie,

While I would not have chosen to place with you because of your age, that is not to say someone else won't find a connection with you. However, do not become discouraged if at first you are not contacted. Realize that maturity and stability come along at different ages for all people so if the both of you are feeling ready to take this step, then by all means, start it!

Good luck in your journey.

[Jensboys]

Angie - I got married at 20 as well, and we knew when we got married that we would adopt. We enjoyed being married for a couple of years then had our first bio child when I was 23. 4 months later we started the adoption process, eventually adopting two boys then ages 3 and 4. I am 21 years older than my oldest (although he was adopted at age 4).

Saying all that - Parenting is HARD, and parenting older children who are the ones in fact in need of families (because there are lots of homes for infants) is very difficult. Life experiences, education, maturity and a strong established marriage are all essential tools to making it work. I encourage you to pursue your dream ... but also take some time to educate yourself about adoption, the special skills needed and the types of children that are waiting for families.

[moniq725]

Angie,
I think your intentions are admirable and I think your heart is in the right place. You have so much of your own living to do right now. You are so young and maybe you should concentrate on you and your husband right now. Get situated and then when the time is absolutly right for the both of you, then do it, I think it is a great idea. There are alwasy going to be babies that need loving homes to go to.
Monique

[MeLisa]

I would say do what you think you are ready for. My Husband and I have been doing foster care/adoption for almost two years and, I just turned 23 he just turned 26. We have one birth daughter 3 & a foster daughter 1(that we are trying to adopt). If anything I would say our parents that are older are having a harder time with it then us. Are kids are very energetic!!! It's worth a try every county in every state could use more foster/adoptive parents. It still depends on you and your husband. It puts a lot of strain on a marriage. You have to ask is your marriage strong enough to go thru some thing like this, & are you ready to give up your time together to take care of a child that may have a multitude of problems? Hope this helps.

[chrisandaaron]

Good luck Angie-
Although my husband and I are a little older (27 and 29) our birthmom recently told me that she chose us because we were younger. She was happy to find us (as most of the other profiles she got were for older parents) and we are thrilled to have found her! I agree that it isn't too early to take the classes and learn as much as you can. Just beware that sometimes things do move fast once you start the process. We sent in our paperwork in Dec. 2004, we finished our homestudy before Christmas and within a week we were matched with a wonderful birthfamily! The baby is due in May! Good luck!
~Chris (just enjoying the wait)

[lovebeingmom2006]

Hi Angela, I have read your post from day one. I have given your situation a lot of thought. I look at your picture and I see a beautiful, young girl with her whole life ahead of her. No one can tell you what to do, but I would like to say, Why do you want to be a mother now? You are only 20 years old. You have your whole life ahead of you. 21 to 30 were the best years of my life. I partied, traveled and just hung out. I did all I could do before settling down with my dh . I am 42 now, and waiting to be matched with my first child. I am sorry I waited so long to be a mother, but I would have never considered it at 20. Do what's best for you.

[lisa in venice]

Emptyarms,
another way to look at it is that she is young and if she is a mom now she STILL has her whole life ahead of her. My mom was marrying off one child and at the college graduation of the other when she was 42. She has since started a new carrer, traveled the world and generally lived it up. Some people just do it the other way around.

lisa

[lovebeingmom2006]

So true Lisa. That's why my last sentence was do what's best for you. Just because I waited does not make it right. It was just the right situation for me. Good Luck, Angie Bell.

[overflowing]

I really think it depends on the birthmother. And only you and your husband know if you are ready to be parents. My husband and I knew we wanted children right away. I was 19 and he was 21 when we married. Our son was born when I was 21. Our desire to have children has never changed. 9 amazing years later we have been blessed to have 3 children (2 whom we were so blessed and honored to adopt). Everyone's advice is great. I do agree that it's important to have time alone just the two of you. Having a child completely changes the dinamics of your relationship...not in a bad way by any means...but things change drastically. So enjoy just being the two of you and when you feel the time is right start researching your options.

Side note...my best friend 13yrs. ago place her son for adoption with a family where the amom was 21 and the adad was 31. She just had a peace that they were suppose to be her sons parents.

[Jacqueline1984]

Angie i don't think that you are young, infact i myself am 20 years old, and i've been intrested in adoption since i was about 16 or younger, i plan to adopt as a single mother one day when i'm about 23 or 25 or so i've already started my savings because i would like to do an international adoption... email me sometime i'd love to chat...

hewittJacqueline@yahoo.ca