[jeannem]

Ladies,

The subject of time off came up as a result of an agency I looked at that required that the adoptive parent take off 3 months when the child was placed with them. This would have been a domestic infant adoption.

I would just like to get a feel for what people are taking:

Did you adopt an infant or older child?
How long did you take off from work?
Did your agency have a requirement?
Did you think that the amount of time you took off was enough?

I'd love to hear your answers.

[lmrod55]

Hello!

We adopted an infant and I took 2 months off of work. Our agency did not have any requirements. Hard to say if I think it was enough time...dh stayed home with her till just recently - so I knew that she was going to be well cared for HOWEVER I would of loved to have taken 3 to 4 months off. In that 2 months we were able to bond, get into a routine, and spend every moment together, so I was blessed to have that time with her.

Great questions, I am interested to hear what others have to say.

-Lena

[bevy]

Hi There,
I guess things are different in the US but here in BC Canada everyone who has been working is eligable for one year of maternity leave. Adoption is a little bit different because part of the leave is maternity and the rest is parental so I got the parental part which worked out to be 8 months off. I went back only part time and I am still doing the same after 2 1/2 years. I only teach part time so I am home for the most part with my daughter.
Our agency did not have a requirement around that subject but some birthmoms will ask that of the adoptive family that they choose.
Good luck with it!

[LisaCA]

Well, in our brochure we said I planned to take a semester off (i teach college) and dh planned to take about 3 weeks off. we did a domestic adoption and had our daughter from day three.

turned out to be my taking the summer off (so I spent 7 weeks with her, and dh took a whopping weekend off when we got home. While I won't go into my anger at dh for going back to work because they "need" him, I will say that as much time off you can take would be helpful. Even better if you have a mate home too! I was totally wiped with her. She was colicky (actually turned out to be acid reflux but wasn't solved til she was 2 months old), didn't sleep, required one of us to hold her at all times-the idea of working would have made me cry.

our agency had no requirement but did ask if we planned to and pointed out the importance of bonding.

do I think it was enough now that I've gone back to work? minimally yes. I think 2 months is minimum, three is even better if you can swing it. I have quit my job but not until next may. I feel I can't handle her, the cats, the rabbits, the hamster, the husband and work too, at least not have it work out in the end. to say you can barely function is an understatement. I couldn't even function, could barely speak, I forgot things, and burst into tears (happy or sad) over anything. This is what a lack of rem sleep will do to you. I was a zombie. it ended after about 6 weeks.

good luck,

LisaCA

[LisaCA]

I should say that I really loved this time with her, zombie and all. So much so that I can't wait til we're home together next year.

LisaCA

[Kelli]

Hello!

We adopted an infant and I took six weeks off, and then my husband took one month off. After that we found a wonderful home sitter who lives close to us. Our daughter is now three and she attends a Christian Learning nursery school. Our agency did not have any requirements about how long parents should stay home. As far as the amount of time we spent home with her during those early months, time spent with her is never enough for me! However, I do not see any indication that our daughter has suffered because we are not with her more. She has a sweet personality and continues to thrive, learn new things (like ballet), enjoy her quality time with us (and family), and with her friends. As Lisa indicated it's a real balancing act and can be frustrating trying to take care of a baby(young child), home, husband, work and other responsibilities, so I often times do wish there were more hours in the day. If you can take three months off and still maintain your job (if that's what you want to do) then I would suggest taking the time. IMO, more time with your baby will never hurt!

Peace and blessings,

Kelli

[angeluv]

Just food for thought. I think what everyone's said is right. Take as much time as you can. However, I would consider what you have to work with in terms of available time work wise ( i.e. vacation, sick leave, family leave, etc) between you and your dh. I'm not sure what age child you are interested in adopting but do keep in mind that the first year of an infant's life is filled with periodic check ups and if your child is going to daycare, there will possibly be numerous Dr's visits. for colds, ear infections, etc. during the winter/spring months. I would take as much time as you can manage and/or afford. Just make sure you leave room for the unexpected. Angeluv

[kecho]

I 'm a single adoptive Mom. I adopted my daughter as a newborn. To answer your questions, I took off 8 weeks and then went back to work full-time. My agency did not stipulate how much time I had to take, but my job did. I was not eligible for paid time off, so I had to go back.

Truthfully, I was ready however I would have needed/preferred to go back part-time. It was really difficult being up all night and then going in to work 8 hours 5 days a week.

I would also recommend prepare for the unexpected. I was laid off because I took too much sick time because I was exhausted. I was also shocked to learn that I would not be given paid time off like my birth parent counter parts. People don't seem to talk about it very much, but a lot of jobs treat you differently once you become a parent and it is not for the good. I have to say though it was all worth it and being laid off gave me the opportunity to start my own business which has been great.

Good Luck