[mommiemia]

Hello,

Okay I am a black woman with absolutely no hair experience. My two year baby girl has fairly decent hair. It curls up after you wash it but if you don't attend to it immediately, it is difficult to maintain. My problem is I want nice hair styles for her. I really do not like a bunch of barrettes in her hair. Can everybody help me with some nice hair styles suitable for two year olds? Include all steps. I can even part.
I know take away my black card.

Thanks.
Totally helpless!!!

[LisaCA]

hi,

you remind me of my sister:-). we thank god daily that she had a boy:-).

here's what I plan to do. Since i cut all my hair off long ago, I have minimal skill with hair (I can do cornrows/french braid, I can do pony tails, and a few other things). So I plan to go into a black hair salon and ask to watch how they do the youngsters' hair on the weekend. I think I may also hire someone to come by my house a few times (maybe once a week for four weeks) to work on our child's hair and teach us what to do. We may have a boy (I already have the hair clippers and I'm really good at this buzzcut thing), but I figure I need help. I was way too butch as a kid (and an adult) to do hair, so I'm pretty clueless.

there are a bunch of books (there's one called "it's all good hair") and some websites, but i learn better by doing and having someone point out what I'm doing wrong. and I think it all depends on how your daughter feels about having her hair done. I sat quietly and read a book while a friend next door braided my hair for a few hours-my little sister screamed the moment a comb came out of the drawer and never let up-needless to say my mom spent very little time on her hair!

good luck, it can be a positive experience and time to bond with your child.

take care,

LisaCA

[tancee]

Hi, My suggestion would be to find someone who can french braid/ do cornrows. When Shes a little older you can get a kiddie perm put to it to make it more managable. If she would sit still long enough a warm straightening comb may help it right now.

[mommiemia]

Thanks all for your input.

I prefer to keep her hair natural. I just wanted different ways to style her hair. I absolutely loves LisaCA suggestions. Since I definitely do not have any experience. I am thinking, if I purchased a doll and practice, maybe my daughter hair will not look that bad. I hate to take her to the hair salon so soon. I wasn't planning on introducing her to the salon until around 13. I think BP have put to much emphasized on straight hair. We have lost our identity. I love the natural look. With that said, do anybody know what products on the market that can enhance naturally curly/wavy hair?

Thanks.

[tac417]

Hi Mommiemia!

I also prefer the natural look. I don't know of any hair products but there is a good website that I have been going to called Nappurality.com. I have also heard that the website NaturallyCurly.com is good but I have not been to that website yet.

Good Luck!

[redhedded]

Hi MommieMia, I kept my daughter's hair in an afro until about age 13 months. Now I do puffs daily - 13 to be exact. She (and I) get lots of compliments on it. I do not intend to take my daughter to the salon until later; she is not yet two. My brown friends have been a tremendous source of information in this (and many areas); though each has given me very different advice. An acquaintance told me that my daughter's hair would not grow without it being plaited all of the time. A friend told me, "not so." It is quite long and has only been braided a few times (by me.) We use California Baby (shampoo and leave in Chamomile conditioner); it is a plant based chemical free product that you can buy at Whole Foods or online. We have tried a number of oils for daily use, including olive oil, jojoba and shea butter. We are currently using Burt's Bee's Apricot oil, and it is certainly the best thus far. It seems to penetrate the hair well and leaves the scalp healthy.

I agree with tac. I have gotten some great information from
http://www.nappturality.com
Good luck.

[Kazmum]

... look to the web, girl. I'm a black woman, and I gotta tell ya, my OWN hair frustrates me. But I got great info from:

http://www.naturallycurly.com

Give that one a whirl, as well!

K.

[LisaCA]

turns out we're in a match now and bmom is having a girl so this discussion just became more meaningful:-). I plan to do the natural thing and I agree that there's way too much emphasis on the straightening of hair. I think many salons are doing things naturally these days and can still help us to figure out what to do. Of course, I cut all my hair off ten years ago, so maybe she'll want to look like mommy:-). Sis and I were just reminiscing today about the fun of pressed hair and burnt ears:-).

take care,

LisaCA

[kllee4]

LisaCA,

As an AA woman, you just brought back some wonderful and occassionally funny memories (ouch) of my sister and I having our hair pressed for special occasions. I also remember sitting between my mother's legs as she parted our hair, oiled our scalps and braided our hair for the week. I look back on those times with loving memories and after having four biological sons and embarking on this adoption journey waiting to be matched with an AA baby girl, one of my first thoughts was of what I would do with her hair! The blessing is that we not only come in such rich shades of skin tone, but also in the degrees of differences in hair texture. My mother quickly put my mind at ease, telling me how much she misses having a little one's hair to do and (since she lives about 5 minutes away) will gladly wash and braid her hair for me. My sister and I would sit for hours with those large Barbie doll heads (LOL) and braid and cornrow for hours! With the boys, it is simply get a haircut and go but with her I welcome the work that it may or may not entail (I say that now! LOL) and also wonder at the upcoming teenage years when her hair may become the object of my horror if she decides to experiment with it (remember how we felt that OUR parents never understood our need to express our independence!).

For any of us who feel anxiety over our daughter's hair, I would recommend embracing it and being open to trying new things. Experimentation works best but in the end, only you and she will ultimately be the best at judging what will be best for you both.

kllee4

[LisaCA]

omg, my little sister loved to play with those disembodied barbie heads! they are soooo scary- she sat for hours rolling and unrolling barbie's hair, applying makeup... it drove me insane. I played with tonka trucks and was way too tomboyish for that girl-hair stuff. My sis and i decided we'd buy a barbie head for my husband to practice on...

I think we're the only group that frets about "good" vs. "bad" hair and that really has to stop. I like the websites listed above, and hope that if we have a girl we will not pass on those neg hair feelings. And since dh came from a family of three boys, he's never actually done any hair -beware the child that has to have him do their hair!

so kllee, if your mom lives in southern CA, maybe she'd like to come by every day and "play" with my daughter's hair:-).

I have to say my own hair frustrates me too, but that's why I cut it off ten years ago. Now I just "mow" my hair with my prof. clippers every week and miraculously I don't have to worry about doing hair, hat hair, rain hair, wind hair, etc. I think for me it was just that I resented the time I had to spend on hair, even 10 min a day. My hairdresser became quite tired of my asking her to put it in a pony tail and saw me as an embarrassment (please don't tell anyone I did your hair:-).
and dh became tired of seeing his wife with burns on her legs (I sat down and curled hair via curling iron, dropping it frequently and scarring legs, what an uncoordinated chick I am!)

lisaCA

[kllee4]

Now that would be a sight! LOL

I totally agree with you on the "good hair/bad hair" thing within our own culture. It has been horrible for many AA women who are still left with the emotional scars and an unhealthy self esteem. My prayer has been for our little angel coming, that we embrace her hair and explore together on what is best for her.

And, sorry, LisaCA, we live in MD so my mom can't help you there! My parents travel a lot so I might also be in trouble in tracking her down as well! smile

We may use a young lady next door who braids all the little girl's hair in my neighborhood. She's 16 and now does the hair of 5 regularly and the youngest is not yet 3! She doesn't charge anything and she has even helped 2 of the girls' hair to grow and become healthier! She will come to their homes and let them watch a movie and I am amazed that they sit long enough. She braids them in such pretty designs and most last for almost 2 weeks. All the parents have to do is wash it and towel dry it right before she comes over and supply the barretts, bows or beads. She even brings her own oils and scalp conditioners! So I know that she will come in handy. I figure that we have about 2 years before she has to leave for college! LOL

So maybe that could also be an option for any mom who cannot braid well or who is willing to let someone teach them. The young teenagers in our neighborhood (mostly AA and Latino) can really do some hair! LOL

And, yeah, I'm sporting a ponytail or a bun on a regular basis so I understand about you cutting yours off!

kllee4

[LisaCA]

that's a good idea. We just moved to the neighborhood, so i'm just connecting with people, but a teen with an interest in hair would be great!

Maybe that teen in your neighborhood would like to come to college in LA...let me know:-).

unfortunately our neighborhood doesn't have too many AAs -the census says 1.2%-yeah, we realized this after buying the house:-(. there are a large number of latinos, so we might have access to some young girls interested/experienced with AA hair-we'll have to do some research. The neighboring areas have much larger AA populations, so maybe...

and thanks Kllee for the support on the other board. Our bmom has false labor pains so we're off the hook for the moment-still the hair subject still resonates. I am convinced that dh must learn to do her hair so I'm not the only one. whether I'll have to redo it before she can leave the house is another story:-)

LisaCA

[mommiemia]

You guys are awesome.
Thanks for all the input. I actually tried the Leave-in conditioner and puff balls hairstyle. It turned out absolutely wonderful.
I am truly impress with you all.
I guess I should have paid better attention growing up when auntie and them were doing my hair. I hated braids. The braids were always too tight and your head was too shiny. It took one week to cuperate and another to come back to your senses. The the cycle repeated. I always tell my peeps, that was harsh and unusal punishment. That's why, I am determine to keep her hair real.
As a matter of fact, I am just went natural. The twist are really good and easy to maintain. I love it.


Thanks all for you help!!!

I pray that God's peace and mercy be with you all.

[toyjsu]

I have to say that I found this thread quite amusing. I could almost smell the burnt hair and feel the sizzle of that hot comb. Every Sat. I had to get my hair washed and pressed. The only reason I sat still is because I got to watch Saturday morning cartoons while she was pressing my hair. My oldest is 4 and my newest addition is 22 months. My oldest has a lot of hair and if we ever straighten it I can imagine how long it will be. I can already tell my 22 month old is going to be needing the Just for Me perm in a few years. I'm sorry, I can't go natural. I don't have that kind of time or patience. Right now it isn't so bad. The baby has enough hair that I can get away with 3 pigtails. I can't braid to save my life. I had one of those barbie heads. Like LisaCA I was also a tomboy. I loaded her hair with grease and cut it all off.