[Passingthrough5]

Hello, I just thought I would try an post here to see if anyone wouldn't mind sharing some help. My husband and I are not African american but our tow youngest are. My ?? is youngest daughter has very course curly hair, and I would really appriciate any recommendations for hair products that we could get through a salon. We had her hair braided, but the lady that did it put in extentions that were way to long for an 18 month old. I shorten them but still after 3 days her hair started to look fuzzy so I took them out. So now we're back to square one. I was also told not to wash her hair but every two to three weeks. But then she gets build up and like ring around the collar on her clothes. Any advice. Oh she does have a cap to sleep with but doesn't leave it on all night. thank-you

[BeckyS]

what I want to know is how the heck you got an 18 month old to sit for extentions ?? Myself, I truly think that's beyond the realm of necessity for that age but that's me. I love the Wave Nouveau (sp) products but it really depends on your dd's hair as to what will work the best. Can you go back to the salon that did the ext's & ask for suggestions? On the buildup, my answer is to rinse dd's hair occassionally on bath nights that aren't shampoo nights. I throw some conditioner in it but avoid the shampoo. About once a month I also do an oil treatment.

[toyjsu]

There is a line of products you can get in a beauty supply store called Just For Me. I use these products on my child's hair. You should also be able to find it in Walmart. Try asking some African American friends. Most people don't mind giving suggestions or teaching you how to deal with her hair. I have a friend who was raising a biracial child. This child had frizzy hair. I didn't want to offend but I couldn't take seeing this child looking like her finger had been in a light socket. I combed her hair and her mom was thrilled. I eventually taught her mother about buying products and how to manage her hair.

If you have her hair braided, don't add extensions. She is too young. Sometimes this can do more damage than good. Just braid her natural hair. In the beauty supply stores you will find a spray for braids.

Good luck.

Toya

[DebCsMom]

I've had these SAME problems with hair products. Our AA daughter is 18 months old also. I tried the :just for Me" products but didn't really like them. Our daughters hair is also very course & curly. I wash it every 2-3 weeks but condition it every day. I don't rinse it out. Every couple of days when she gets a bath I give it a good scrub but with just water. When I comb her hair everyday, i spray it with water first. Then I put in NEXXUS HUMECTRESS. Not the generic version though. I comb it through & leave it in. I let it soak in for about 15 minutes or so . Then I apply a conditioning hairdress. Then I style it. Maybe give that a try. It seems to calm the frizzys. I also use the same products on our Biracial daughter's hair. I just have to wash hers more often. I asked our daughter's birth Mom what to use on her hair. Asking around and experimenting is the only way you'll find what works for your daughters hair. Also maybe get the book "it's All Good Hair" by Michele N-K Collison. It tells all about AA hair, products, styling, etc. I found it very helpful.

Deb

[ranade3]

I have a two year old Liberian daughter who came home in July. I hired a hair dresser to do her hair the first few times and I watched very closely, asked a lot of questions. I do have to say that EVERYONE that I asked for advice had a different opinion on what hair products to use, what works best, etc. One person will tell you one thing and then another will tell you that's the worst thing you can use on your child's hair and tell you something else to use. I finally figured out that you really have to decide yourself what works best on your own child.

After trial and error I decided to use the Just for Me products but I use my own shampoo and conditioner on her hair because its made for curly hair and doesn't leave a residue on her hair. I bought both "It's All Good Hair" by Michele N-K Collison and "Kids Talk Hair" by Pamela Ferrell and they are both excellent references on hair care.

I now corn row my child's hair myself and am quite proud of the results. Deborah came home from Africa with 21 little braids going into a top knot (ponytail) and I can do 19 so I'm getting there. My daughter will sit at the table in her booster chair easily for 1 and 1/2 hours with plenty of toys in front of her (special toys that she can only play with during hair time) so that I can braid her hair.

In Africa they start braiding their hair when they are just babies so my daughter was used to it and if you knew her you would know that sitting still is very hard to do. She is very active, loves to run, jump, wiggle, dance, etc. but during hair time she knows how to sit and seems to enjoy it.

With the corn rows in I wash my daughter's hair one week and the next week I take out the braids one evening and the next day I will wash her hair and then braid it again. The corn rows last 2 weeks. I really enjoy doing my daughter's hair and I enjoy the time we spend together. Her hair is about 8-10 inches stretched out so it is a lot of work but its worth it!

When I first started doing Deborah's hair I practiced doing braids and other styles as long as she would let me and many times my daughter still would end up wearing her hair in afro puffs. Eventually her hair looked nice enough that we dared to go out in public :-)

I am here to tell you that caucasion people CAN learn to corn row!

Nanita

We had a AA foster son from birth until 16 months and this is what worked for us - wash hair once a week (no more than twice a week), other bath times just take wet washcloth over hair. Get Coconut Oil creme from Walmart and I combed that in every other day or every third day.

I just recently found out about this book, I haven't ordered it since we no longer have him with us - you can get it off of Amazon.com

It's All Good Hair: The Guide to Styling and Grooming Black Children's Hair by Michele N-K Collison

[Missy M]

OK I will admit that as an AA woman with 3 bi-racial kids( d/h is CC) I am LOL over this issue! Not because its "funny" but look girls...it IS funny. I am also able to laugh at myself because I started out using *MY* hair care products on these kids who BTW have varying shades of cotton candy like hair. I turned my oldest daughter into a little syrup head one weekend before a bi-racial co-worker rescued me.
OK here is another approach to "black hair care." #1 Ditch the shampoo/ rinse routine. #2 Please know that our hair is extremely dry and brittle. It is the opposite of "CC" hair in that it does not get oily on its own. We have to oil our hair almost daily. It is a good thing to do this; it strengthens the hair, avoids breakage, helps it grow and avoids the frizzes. #3 Go to Walmart, Krogers, 7-11 anywhere hair care products are sold and buy a Bergamont/ Conditioning Hair Dress- type scalp GREASE. Wash and dry the hair, apply the "grease" directly into the scalp by parting it into small sections and rubbing it in. Apply a liberal amount of the grease to the hair itself and brush it to distribute it all over; comb and style as usual. You may even consider using a small amount of Gel to help it lay flat but use it only after the grease is used as it can be drying too. Prostyle makes a great Gel, and Blue Magic makes an excellent Conditioner/ Hair Dress (grease). As the child becomes older (age 2-3 and over) you can do the Just for Me perm for kids and it will relax the hair without harsh chemicals and make it so easy to comb and style, or perhaps a flat iorn approach to smooth it when the child is able to sit still.
As far as shampooing goes once every 2 weeks or so is enough. The hair grease will stop the flakes. The use of leave in conditioners usually adds to the dryness and frizzes; so does too frequent applications of water; remember, or hair is normally dry and brittle. Please let me know if I can be of further help...MissyM

[Missy M]

You said:With the corn rows in I wash my daughter's hair one week and the next week I take out the braids one evening and the next day I will wash her hair and then braid it again. The corn rows last 2 weeks.

IMO: cornrows are a good thing but like all good things it should be done in moderation. You may consider leaving her hair "down" for a few days or maybe a week every month just to let it "relax" itself and breathe. Often you will notice breakage around the edges if its left in a style for long periods of time or if its braided into the same style each time....however with the legnth you mentioned, maybe you don't need to change a thing...MissyM

BTW: you can't use the grease tip with cornrows except on her scalp; the hair won't stay up in braids if its greased...MM

[ranade3]

Hi Missy,

When I first started doing my daughter's hair myself she ended up wearing her hair in afro puffs every day and what I noticed is that her hair line seemed to be receding. I read up on it in the above mentioned books and I think it was because of the daily pulling of her hair into the same style like you said. But when I leave it in the same corn rows for a couple of weeks it gives her hair a chance to grow without being pulled tight daily into a style and now her hairline looks healthier.

I'm afraid to let her wear her hair in a fro because I don't want AA women to think I don't know how to do my baby's hair. I've heard comments before about that in Wal-Mart, etc. My husband loves her hair "down" and once I let her wear her hair like that to church. Also, because of its length its more work to do it the next time.

I know what you mean about us sounding funny with our hair stories, but I have to tell you. Someone told me to use the Blue Magic stuff you wrote about and then someone else told me it was horrible, don't use that. Same thing with the pink stuff. My AA (actually Cuban but her hair is black) girlfriend swore by the pink stuff but my hair dresser said it would weigh my baby's hair down.

Don't we sound like the blind leading the blind?

I appreciate any help I can get. I was scared to death to do my baby's hair myself and decided I would always go to a hairdresser at $25 a pop. But in December it was hard to get a hold of her, I never did get a hold of her, so I had to do Deborah's hair myself.

Anyways, you can offer suggestions any time, they are always welcome

Nanita

[thewatsonelf]

My daughter is biracial and was born with quite a head of hair~but only on top. She has beautiful ringlets on the top and just fuzz on the sides. It's very fine and flyaway, but it does get dirty and I wash it once a week with Dove shampoo, just a little drop.

I use the Soft & Precious leave in spray about every other day. so far, seems so good. No one has given my the evil eye as yet looking at Mia's hair at least!

[toyjsu]

Passingthrough 5,

As you can see there are a lot of choices out there. You just have to try a few and see what works for your child. Even as an AA mom I have had to figure out what works for my daughter. Our hair comes in many different types. I commend you for asking for help.
I dread washing my daughter's hair because her hair becomes one tangle poof. She has long hair and it takes a while to comb out. She also hates to get her hair done. When she was your little one's age we both spent time in tears over doing her hair. She is three now. We have finally come to a compromise. I have found that spraying it with detangler after it is washed helps. I buy the regular kids detangler usually used by cc children. I also use a blow dryer once a month. I use one with a wide tooth comb on the end. Make sure it is on low and not used often. It can dry out the hair. Make sure you have greased her hair before you use the blow dryer. The blow dryer helps to straighten it and then it combs out easier. My daughter likes the blow dryer because mommy has one too.

Nanita,

My hats off to you lady. I can't corn row to save my life. I wish I could. It would make my mornings go a lot faster.


Pantene now has a hair product line for aa. It smells really good and works well for us. I've even caught my husband using it.

Depending on the type of hair your child has, leaving it down for too long will make putting it up harder. My daughter's hair gets frizzy and tangled.
Now I am going to get off this site and find that book that was mentioned.

Toya

[Jensboys]

Ok -- I am the mom of FOUR boys so why the heck am I in here???? Well, my oldest son (aa) wants long twisty dreads (like the football players have) so we have been growing his hair out for a YEAR ... now it is around 6-8 inches long and had been braided and the roots had "locked". It was beginning to look horrendous so I have spent three hours a night for the last three nights COMBING IT OUT.

Yes ... apparently it IS possible to comb out dreads if you use entire bottles of detangler. He absolutely refuses to have it cut ... we live in a small town in CAnada with not an aa hair dresser in sight (the one we used before has recently moved away).

He has this absolutely beautiful afro now and I have not a clue what I am going to do with it when I finally get it all combed out.

His hair is not tight curly but it is capable of locking eventually. I used beeswax in the past but its so STICKY now when trying to comb it out and I am finding all sort of lint in the dreads attached to the wax (I suppose that is normal).

Why do I have to have a son who is SO into hair? ugh lol I thought I would be off the hook with 4 boys.

[thewatsonelf]

Jen, your boys are all gorgeous!

[Jensboys]

LOL Hellllllppppppp!!!

[surfmama]

Aren't we a fun bunch? I have 4 adopted AA girls (and 2 AA boys, their hair is soooooo easy!) and had to learn to do their hair....practice, practice, and more practice!

I found the Loreal for kids shampoo (Suave for kids also works the same) worked better than the Just for me line. And they have one for after swimming too. Pantene conditioner (the new AA line is REALLY nice, I am trying out all their products out right now) and using the right hairbrush is important. My kids get lots of carpet fuzz in their hair, a soft natural bristle brush works well when you do small sections. I use big plastic hair clips to section first (using my fingers to part) and later use the handle end of a rat tail comb to do final parts before styling. The smaller the braids/twists, the longer they stay and look nice. I use the blue grease more in the summertime to protect their hair from sun/chlorine, yes, the braids stay in. Rubber bands can be used, but I find cutting them out is easy and saves the hair from breaking.

The books already mentioned are good resources. I just wish there was a book dedicated to hair styles, I am constantly looking for new cute ways to do their hair. It also took me many months to learn how to cornrow.

I was told by an AA hairdresser not to even think about straightening their hair until middle school age. After one trial week of blowdrying/hot combing till straight, I was sold on waiting. I LIKE not having to brush and style hair every morning!

I bought a 2 sided tackle box at Menards and store all our "hair stuff" in it (ponytail holders, rubber bands, barretts, etc.). It is easy to tote around and keeps everything in one place.