[Linny]

Gotta say, Jensboys, your boys are handsome!!!!

Okay............my sixth baby (who is now two years old)........has very, very kinky hair. I didn't have much of a clue as to how to take care of it, so, right after she was born, I started asking ANYONE and EVERYONE who was AA or had adopted AA children.....just 'what they did'.

As someone else mentioned, I got as many answers, as I did questions. I have tried SO many different conditioners, shampoos, oils. I'm a BIG stickler on the smell of the product. I found that a lot of the stuff I tried, I didn't care for the smell.

So.........my own hair dresser suggested BIOSILK made by Farouk. She had seen it suggested at a conference she went to. It has been the best product I have tried; and I have to say that my cabinet is FULL of hair products that have paled to the BIOSILK.
I won't put my little girl's hair in extensions at this age....that's just me. I haven't cut it...and she was born with a LOT of hair. But, I've had AA gals (we shop in a college town) stop me to say that I'm doing a good job on her hair.
I spritz wet her hair down with water every day. I pat it dry. I apply the biosilk. It's great because it gives her hair a lot of moisture, but doesn't leave much of a residue. I wash her hair each week....sometimes a little longer. I wash it with a conditioning shampoo, towel dry, then apply a leave in conditioner (I've tried several here......one seems to do as well as the others I've tried.)........then, I apply the biosilk.

I either put her hair in 'pigtails' or one pony tail on top. I know the day is coming for cornrows and braids (and yes, I've braided it, but she didn't like it....told me so). She has a hard time sitting still for much more. When she's older, I'm taking her to the salon to have it done. And....in time, I'm sure this mid-forties gal (me) will learn to do it!!!! LOL!

On the other hand, we just brought home our last baby (also AA). The folks who had her didn't have a clue how to take care of her hair (which is not as kinky as my older daughter's). So, her hair is practically GONE! They used regular rubber bands, pulled it up so tightly it made US want to cry (this is how she came to us). Most of her hair has broken off; and I find it inexcusable that they were allowed to care for her, without finding out the knowledge of 'how to do her hair'.....and it's in the condition that it is! I mean, it didn't just fall out overnight!!!! (Just HAD to vent there, folks!)

So, little by little, it's growing out, and one day she'll have a full head of lovely hair.

That's just my two cents on caring for hair.

Sincerely,

Linny

[redhedded]

So appropriate that I should find this discussion TONIGHT. Each and every one of my brown friends has given me different advice on caring for my daughter's hair: baby oil, vaseline, pantene and other adult products. One friend who wears locks said to do nothing. I get many many compliments on my daughter's afro from black women. Our daily routine, spritz with water, use pure jojoba oil and pick out; her hair is 3-4 inches long. My daughter is only 19 months.

However, today, a woman, whom I have never seen approached me and after a few minutes told me that I MUST keep my daughter's hair braided, saying that it would never grow if I do not. She told me to use castor oil? (maybe) I am not certain but that is what it sounded like and said I should buy at Sally's. She said that jojoba oil is no good. I have read every book - It's all good hair, tenderheaded: a compilation of hair stories, hairstory: untangling the roots. . . Now, I am confused. We use California Baby shampoo and leave in conditioner; it is a chemical free plant based line of products. My daughter is a big thumb wrist sucker, and I have to be sure that anything I put on her head can safely go into her mouth, as some will eventually get there. Help!

I do not wish to use an adult, chemical based product for now. Do you have any other suggestions? What about other pure oils or pure Shea butter?

Oh Linny, I am sorry about your peanut's hair. That is ridiculous.

[Missy M]

Redheaded...Shea, jojoba, coconut and baby oils are for the most part "too light" to be affective. They coat the hair without penetrating, or conditioning it and just run off and don't seem to make much difference IMO. They also seem to attract lint. The "all natural" products are often no different than anything else except for price. Read the ingrediants. Red: its an unproven "old wives tale" that braiding and styling her hair encourages growth, and it does seem to work! Now weather the growth would have started without the styling is questionable; we typically start the pony-tail, braids, plaits, before age 2. Be aware that once you start, its something you'll be doing from now on! Hair grows unevenly and after it starts its hard to afro it again. Please don't cut the girls AA hair. We are slow growers...cutting is done in adulthood.
My Mom started pressing and / or perming my hair before 1st grade, and it never damaged me...I don't think. Believe me you'll be doing the straightening thing long before middle school...peer pressure will insist on it! and once you do it you will be simply amazed at the ease and beauty of it all....MissyM

[riley6]

Jenn, You have FOUR GORGEOUS boys! You better get a few extra phone lines for your house. I'm sure the phone is never going to stop ringing with girls who are after them!

[Jensboys]

Thanks for all the compliments! Yes the boys are beautiful. Son#1 (with the HAIR) is so incredibly "Gorgeous" (they are all cute but he sort of has a "look"). He is only 9 and you would NOT believe the comments I get from adults about him (mostly about hiding him away from every female for miles around when he is a teenager). He has this charmer personality too, is incredibly athletic and smart as a whip. (P.S. Let this be my personal advertisement for older child, sibling group, special needs, transracial adoption!!! Its not all horror stories ... lots of work but worth every second!!!)

Now if only he liked short hair like his brothers ...

I need suggestions for doing twists ... guy twists ... like the football players. HELP!!!

[toyjsu]

This has to be one of the best topics I've read in a long time. I have enjoyed reading all of the posts.

Linny,
I have a friend who has decided that she will not do anything to her daughter's hair until she is able to "take care of it herself." The child is 7. She has a VERY dry afro. This little girl looks at my daughter's hair and says she wants long hair too. They keep it cut short. I can't tell anyone what to do with their child, but it saddens me to see this little girl's hair. Her mother says it is just too much to deal with. Hearing your story reminded me. Thank you guys for caring enough about your children's self esteem. Ok, I will get off my soap box now.

Jen what you have heard is true; lock your doors. Those boys are too handsome.

[leatherette]

My daughter is just three months old. She was born with a lot of hair on top. I can't tell if I am not doing enough, if she just has cradle cap, or what? Any recommendations for itty-bitty's? I have been using either jojoba oil or Burt's Bees apricot oil, and shampooing only once every two weeks, and her hair looks great, just has flakes in it. I definitely want to use the most gentle/natural stuff I can. Any thoughts?

L.

[Passingthrough5]

I'll say it again wow on all the hair advice, and yes I do feel like I'm blind on this! I am going to look for those books and pick up some new products. I still don't know about the grease, our daughter doesn't have dry scalp yet. and the woman that did her hair gave me this blue grease called sheree. Well I was putting it on and my daughter broke out in little pimples on her scalp. I never seen that before so I stopped. I just pick it out now and use the Just for Me oil Moisterizer. I do put it up in little pony tails on each side, but not all of it will go in. Also another ??? she seems to get a ring around the collar on her clothes and I can't get it out. I've tried "shout" stain remover with no luck. Is this from the oil?? Oops there's my baby gotta run

[ranade3]

I had to respond when you mentioned the pimples. When I picked up my daughter in Africa last summer she had just had her hair corn rowed. It was so tight that her skin was actually puckered up between the rows of braids and as we were getting ready to get on the plane (I only had her for an afternoon before our flight left that evening) I noticed tons of tiny pus filled blisters all around the edge of her scalp. I ran my finger lightly over one of them and it burst! I was very concerned but within days they had all dried up and disappeared.

Then I went to a hairdresser in a nearby city and she also did the corn rows so tight that Deborah's skin puckered up and within hours the blisters appeared again. I don't think it had anything to do with any products she was using, the hair was just pulled too tight. Deborah never made a fuss about it because she was used to it, but the last time I took her to the hairdreser in Nov. she hadn't been there for awhile because of ringworm (I think she had it in Africa but because she had so many things we were dealing with it was misdiagnosed at first) and I had been doing her hair in looser styles. Well, she screamed bloody murder the whole time her hair was being done and she screamed herself to sleep. The hairdresser said I "ruined" her because she wasn't used to having her hair done anymore.

In Dec. when I started cornrowing Deborah's hair myself, no blisters, no screaming. I don't pull it as tight and it does get fuzzy faster but my daughter likes getting her hair done! She especially likes looking in the mirror afterwards and seeing how pretty she looks :-)

Deborah also gets the ring around the collar, more so in summer because she sweats so much (like me!). I use a combination of Shout, oxyclean, and if the collar is white I use the clorox bleach pen directly on the stain. I've never had kids before except the occasional visit of my grown step children when they were younger and I certainly am learning about stains!!!!

My daughter also gets little blisters or bumps other places on her body. I was told that it was because her skin was so dry or ashy. I coat her with lotion after every bath and sometimes in between. Any suggestions about the bumps? Sometimes she gets a cluster of the little blisters at the crease of her wrist and little hand but they do always dry up on their own.


One more thing, just put more pony tails or pig tails in her hair. My daughter looks adorable with 3 afro puffs on her head. One on top and then two on the sides. There are a ton of pictures in Kids Talk Hair and that's where I started. Don't be afraid to put more pig tails than two though. I tried two at first too and I had to use lots of barrettes to keep it all in.

Nanita

[two are fun]

My husband and I have adopted two AA children. After alot of searching I have found a company in Florida that markets products made specifically for AA children. I use there detangler, conditioner and shampoo. It not only works great but smells great. The company is called Soft and Precious. You can find them at softandprecious.com. My son gets little bumbs and blisters on his neck and torso. We have started using a ointment made by Eucerin called Aquaphor healing ointment and his skin looks great and doesn't get sticky.

[surfmama]

Hi,
Just wanted to mention that some AA children break out in little bumps on their torsos when they are sensitive or allergic to something. For example, my little can't drink any red Juicy Juice, she breaks out and itches! And some laundry soaps or fabric softeners can do it, too.

[redhedded]

many products, including Soft and Precious detangler, S&P hair dress, Aveeno Sensitive skin bath and regular bath, Teeny Bodies moisturizer, have all resulted in small bumps on the torso, back and neck of my daughter. It is often difficult to determine what the culprit is. Through trial and error, we found that California Baby products along with Eucerin is our best combination. We use pure olive oil to treat any eczema spots that arise.

[TilMom]

This subject is so dear to my heart, I had to actually register just so I could post. As a white Mom with 3 AA children, this has been a topic of much frustration and many giggles with one of my AA friends (who is just as frustrated with her kids hair, by the way). When we were beginning the adoption process, I thought, "what's the big deal - it's just HAIR". Now you're all laughing - right? I soon found out what the big deal was and spend endless hours on the weekends "doing hair".

I have found the AA women at one of our local hair supply stores to be extremely helpful when asked. I usually start by saying, "I really need some help".

I have also had the experience of having AA women come up to me and say, "I do hair if you want me to do your daughter's" which I interpret as "your kids hair looks like crap". I am very, very lucky to have a day care where the AA women actually did my kids hair for me in the beginning and taught me about products, etc.

I knew I had finally hit the big time two weeks ago when one of the AA women at daycare said to me, "you've really got the hang of these braids." I didn't know if I wanted a medal or a chest to pin it on - it seemed like one of the best compliments I'd ever gotten.

So - don't give up, keep a sense of humor about the whole thing and thank God for little girls who sit still for hours on end while their poor white Mom experiments with their hair.

[Brat]

This is a cute thread.

Jen's boys, your kids are darlin.' Gotta say that second picture of your boy with his 'fro picked out sent me rolling. Reminds me of my brothers when they were growing up and experimenting.

I'm still trying new processes and products w/my own hair well into my 30s. So, just you know, the adventure never ends. Enjoy it! Once you've figured out the basics, and what works for your child, you'll have fun coming up with all kinds of styles together.

The funny thing about hair: you may make a mistake and it breaks off here and there, but it always comes back! Don't worry. I had an incident where my hairdresser put an infomercial product in my hair and it turned greenish and came out in patches. I lived to tell the tale. So did Oprah when something similar happened to her. Look at that gorgeous mane now.

B.

P.S. Rubberbands are evil.

[Jensboys]

Lord Almighty I have been set free!!!! LOL

After TWENTY FOUR LONG PAINSTAKING hours spent over the last 2 weeks we have officially combed out all the preexisting dreads/braids (sort of partially locked braids) using two full bottles of detangler and re dreaded the entire "do" with small tiny palm-roll dreads using beeswax (yucky) and some Jamaican Locking Gell (REALLY NEAT STUFF!!!!!) which you blow dry and it seems to lock the hair nicely. He looks SO cute! Dont anyone ever doubt I love that child!!! My husband thinks I am insane but it took 15 months to grow it ... I am NOT cutting it off and starting over unless he really wants to.

I will post a pic as soon as his hyper energy from having to sit still for days on end wears off