[lmrod55]

The hubby and I tried for 3 years to have a baby, he has been ready to adopt for the last year and a half and now I am ready. Last week we took the first step and submitted an application for a homestudy. We are both very excited!!
I am new to the message boards, but thought that it might be good to reach out and get advice from others that have been or are in this process.
We go for our initial meeting on Monday, and we have a majority of our paperwork already in order ( I like to be prepared)...hopefully this step will move along smoothly - I am a little nervous about writing the "dear birthmother" letter. Any advice (on any step in the adoption process) is welcomed! thx.

Make it a GREAT day!

[tobeafamily]

Hi & Welcome,

First, if you haven't already, I'd order at least three certified copies of:

1. Birth certificates
2. Marraige license
3. Any divorce decrees

These are things you'll need on hand for a homestudy. You didn't indicate whether you're planning domestic or international. I assume domestic because you referred to a 'dear birthmother' letter. International may have additional legal paper requirements.

Second, make sure you have working smoke detectors on each level of your house, a fire extinguisher for your kitchen and one for every fireplace.

Your agency may be able to guide you on your letter & profile book, though part of this is from your heart. I'd surf some of the popular adoption sites and look at what others are writing for ideas - adoption.com, abcadoptions.com, etc.

Best of luck, hang in there.

Regina, AMom to Ryan Joshua Thomas

[lmrod55]

Thanks for the info - I didn't realize we need 3 certified copies of each. We are doing a domestic adoption.

thanks - ld

[Brat]

Hi Imrod,

We didn't need certified copies of anything. Just one regular copy of our marriage certificate was fine. Regina is so right that you need to get that ordered right away, regardless of the quantity. Also didn't have to have fire extinguishers. But you very may will. Depends on the agency. If yours was like ours, they already sent you a list of what they'll need.

Your social worker will be pleased to see that you are so prepared! Makes her job easier when she doesn't have to ask for things repeatedly--and your efficiency certainly should help your homestudy to be completed quicker. I've heard that over and over again.

We were told at different agency orientations that the longest wait by far would be for results of fingerprinting. If you have to get those--and I am guessing you will--the sooner that you get that done the better. I don't know if it will be the same for you, but the social worker gave us a form that we then presented to the fingerprinters. Although I was soooo anxious to get started after hearing about the wait at those orientations, even before we picked an agency, I needed to wait until I got a form specific to our agency.

The other long waits can be for references to return letters, and for doctors to submit your medical reports. So, the sooner you get those going, the better.

When you meet with your social worker, you'll get a feel for what your agency needs. S/he's there to help you and should be happy to answer any question you may have. If you need support, we're here! Check out the general support forums because there are a couple of threads going on about homestudies currently!

Take a deep breath and take care!

[jheald]

Imrod,

We are fairly new to the process too and have just completed the home study segment. Had our first in-home visit Monday and are now on the waiting list! We are also going domestic and only needed one copy of a certified marriage license and birth certificates. You need 3 certified ones for international. The paperwork seemed endless and every agency asks for different things so your caseworker will definitely be able to guide you in the right direction when you meet with them.

The birth mom letter was very difficult to write. I made a connection with a previous birth mom on this site and she reviewed the paragraphs that talked about "them" and that helped a lot. One suggestion I would offer to write it so that if that birth mom were to actually come into your home she would find the same things you wrote about. The other thing I learned from the birth mom was to not promise the world and not to make it sound like you have a much better life than they do. They want to know about your life, not your material possessions. Does that make sense? If you have questions about what I learned please email me.

Janet

[lmrod55]

jheald - Those pieces of advice for the birth mother letter are great - that will definetly help guide me, I also just purchased a book to help!

Congrats on finishing the home study - good luck with being matched.

thanks!

[tobeafamily]

We adopted through domestic parental placement also and we thought we'd only need one copy of each...surprise! Ryan was born in Texas, a state that allows non-residents to finalize. So, we ended up needing a second set of papers for their courts. We didn't think we needed this because we had supplied in our home state. The judge, however, had other ideas. Thank God we had extras.

Also, if you have certified copies, there will never be a chance of a dispute. With non-certified, you may run into an 'unexpected' block when someone doesn't accept it. The cost is minimally more expensive and timelines are slightly longer. It is, however, better to have before you need than after.

My motto - better be safe, than sorry. It takes so long now what with budget cuts and such to get copies of anything, might as well have extras on hand just-in-case.


My 2 cents. Best of luck,

Regina, AMom to Ryan Joshua Thomas

[crysmith]

My hubby and I have one last visit from the Social Worker in a few weeks. For our homestudy in addition to the things others have mentioned, we also purchased the following things:

Fire evacuation ladder for the nursery and our room (3rd floor in our house)

MVA driving records (certified)

Vet letter for our dog

The homevisit was fine. I stressed out but it was pretty simple. We are now preparing our book, getting references from family/friends, and getting pictures together. I sent out a mass e-mail to family/friends and asked them to write a reference letter about me and my hubby. I gave them a deadline and I've received about 5 already.

I am now writing my "dear birthmom" letter. I wish you nothing but JOY in the process!

[lmrod55]

Good idea on the fire evacuation ladder...I am trying not to stress about the home visit (easier said than done).

Best wishes to you as you continue down the journey.