[toyjsu]

Hi,

My husband and I have completed our homestudy to adopt a special needs child through social services. I have found two little boys and sent in our homestudies to both agencies. Now the wait begins. The wait is killing me. I want one or both of them very badly. There is no way my husband will let us adopt both at the same time. They are suppose to make a decision in the next couple of weeks. Neither one of the boys are in my state. Has anyone adopted a child through social services across state lines? I would like to know your experience. How long did it take for you? I am going to pace a hole in our carpet before it is all over. I feel like I am back in college waiting for test scores. Help me while I wait. Tell me about your experiences.

[Perfect_Mother2]

Your story is of great interest to me. I am adoption two healthy african american children on November 22, thats national adoption day. Yes, i am adopting through social services its a very slow process but well worth the wait and costs much less than an international adoption. There are many african american children even new born babies who need homes. Are you only looking for a special needs child?

[toyjsu]

We want to adopt a african american or biracial child 0-3 years old. Because we already have a 3 year old little girl, we don't want a child older than she. Since we already have a homestudy through social services I thought it would be easier to go through them. I called a private agency and I was quoted a fee of $3100 just for the homestudy. I think that is crazy. They won't accept the homestudy done through ss. I keep hearing about how many AA children are out there but it is cheaper if I give birth again.

[Aida]

To talk about *cheap* is a little *inappropriate* ... We are talking about children here that are in need of a loving home ... In your case maybe it's better to give birth. Don't want to offend you but this kind of attitude is in my opinion not ok.

[toyjsu]

Aida I think you missed my point. It shouldn't be about money at all. We are talking about children not a house or a new car. The reality is it does cost and the cost far exceeds some hospital and doctor's fees. I believe the cost to adopt is crazy. There are plenty of people out there who want to adopt but can't afford to because of the high cost. I am not cheap I just think it is wrong to charge so much.
I recently read a thread about people reading too much into threads and going overboard. Don't judge.

Originally posted by cj416
Do ever feel like no matter what you say on here someone attacks you? It is very easy to read to much into something and misunderstand it. When reading it is hard to tell what someone is really feeling. When you talk to someone you can see their face and hear their tone, but on here it is all how YOU read it. I feel people are so quick to judge, then they attack the original poster.Then you also have the people who attack everyone, because they think they know everything about adoption. Even if they have adopted or have been adopted it is NOT possible for them to know about EVERY adoption situation.
I have had some really nice people respond and have made friends on here, but some people just ruin every post.
How does anyone know what someonoes tone was? SOmething can sound angry, when in reality it is saddness or even just someone speaking in normal tone.
All I ask is when you are reading a post before you go flying off the handle and taking someones head off, try to think of other ways someone could be menaing something.
And if you have not personally had a situation happen in your life, don't go telling someone they are wrong, because unless you lived it you don't know! No 2 lives or situations are the same...