[buccasmom]

Hi,

Were were recently chosen by a birthmom, and on birth day, she chose to place with a family member. We are very disappointed! At times, we feel like we lost our chance. We know there are many more opportunities, but waiting to be chosen can be very difficult -- especially now that we have gone through this. I would love to hear from any of you who have gone through a failed adoption and how you got through it. Thanks!

[angeluv]

Hi Buccasmom:
God has a plan and his timing is not always our timing. Our agency boosted our hopes of having a baby by a certain time and it wasn't until 5 months later we became parents of our son. I'm sure our disappointment doesn't compare to yours. But I'm certain our son's birth/placement in our family was God ordained. My son bears an uncanny resemblance to my husband w/the most wonderful disposition. He's ours! Though it hurts now you want to make sure you get the baby God has planned for your family. I have a friend who went through a failed adoption but only 2 months later they became parents to a wonderful little boy they took home from the hospital. This isn't an easy journey but the reward for staying on course is far greater than you'll ever imagine. Angeluv

[buccasmom]

Thanks, Angeluv! Your words were very uplifting!

Buccasmom

[BeckyS]

just another uplifting story...we were chosen by a pbmom for twins & spoke several times on the phone. One night when we called her she was upset that we had not been contacted by our sw as she had chosen to parent. Were were happy for her but very hurt & I made the call to inform our sw...she said that she had to get us off the phone to call a sw from another agency as they had a bmom that wanted us but were told we were unavailable because of the twins. That bmom was heading to her agency to revoke her termination because she felt we were meant to be parents to her daughter & did not want another couple. The timing could not have been more down to the wire & I cannot imagine parenting any child other than our daughter. Please keep faith...your child will find you

[dtltbaby]

I went through something similiar, the birthmom changed her mind all together and decided to parent. We found this out 1 day prior to the Georgia law permiting her rights null and void. We were devistated, the nursery, crib and everything was all ready.

BUT... I had faith in God, and I remembered our prayer to send us our child, a child that would be a match for our family. He did it! You have no idea how blessed we are. Our son is perfect in so many ways and we get wonderful compliments as "he looks so much like you all, he's such a peacful happy baby"!

God knows the plan and you wont be able to thank Him enough for your gift! Be blessed in His peace!

[buccasmom]

Wow!!! How terrible to have come so close, but you are right -- we must trust in God's timing. We know that He already has our child chosen; we just need to be patient -- it is very difficult, at times, though. Thank you for your story!

buccasmom

[buccasmom]

Dear dtltbaby,

Just wanted to add that our failed adoption was out of Georgia also -- had the birth mother signed already? Were you waiting out the 10 day period that Georgia gives its birthmoms to change their minds? If you don't mind my asking, how long did you wait until you were matched again? Thanks again for your input!

God Bless,

Buccasmom

[dtltbaby]

We began the process in Sept. 2002. We got a match in November. The birthmom and dad had signed. What actually happened is the birthmom did not want to parent but the bf did. They convinced the paternal grandmother to assist them in raising the child and she agreed so they parented. This was decided on day 9.

All is well, I just pray they are doing well and the grandmother is being a grandmother and not a parent all over again.

[dtltbaby]

By the way, we went with Bethany Christian Services. I like to put that out there because they were wonderful in bring our family to completion!