[Montraviatommyg]

I have been a bit at a loss where to post for the best as I am British but thinking of adopting internationally ... African nation being first choice. As people rarely post on either of the UK forums I finally decided to here.

A bit of background is that I'm a birth mother to a 24 year old son whom I am in reunion with. I have been married for 12 years but haven't had any more children. Last year we finally found out that I can still conceive but my husband has a low sperm count so it is unlikely we will have children without medical help which is expensive here.

Adoption has cropped up over the years but it finally came to a head with reunion and finding out what the problem was with us having children. Both of us have agreed that we want to be able to bring up children in a loving home regardless of whether they are our bio or adopted children. It is something we have talked about for a long time now so know we are doing this for all the right reasons. However we are absolutely clueless as to how to go about adopting from Africa and it is incredibly hard to get any common sense from the people who should be able to point us in the right direction. Help!!

Thanks in advance
Pip

[mom81lea]

I know how you feel. I'm new to the whole experience of adopting as well. it does seem rather daunting doesn't it? Do you have a spacific country in Africa that you are looking at. My husband and I are looking at Rwanda. I grew up there and still know people in the area that could be very helpfull when the time comes. I know different people all accross Africa from our time there so if I can be of any help when you decide what country you are going to look seriously at I'd be happy to try to help if I can. I know that Rwanda just reciently opened it's doors to international adoption. There are so many orphans there, mostly orphaned by Aids. Right now the process to adopt there seems simple enough, but there is always the slowness factor. Almost anywhere you look at in Africa though will have that. In Rwanda the saying is hurry up and wait. The process is said to take only 2 months or so , but trying to get paperwork done over there takes time and persistance, again with the hurry up and wait idea. There are no government fees yet though which is nice. the only fees I am aware of are attorney fees. Thene there is a period of time that you are required to be in the country. In Rwanda you must be there for 4-5 buisness days and then 10 days in Kenya. Unfortunatly that is not always true though. Friends of ours in Kigali (the capitol of Rwanda) ended up caring for the adoptive child of some people here in the U.S. for several months because the paperwork took so long to go through. Anyway, that is all I know right now. Like I said, I'm new to all this too. We are looking to adopt sometime in 2008 so I have some time to research. What about you, is this something you want to do soon? Do you have any ideas about weather or not you would like a son or daughter? Well good luck. I hope that this helped somehow.-------Leah

[Montraviatommyg]

Leah,

Thank you for your response as it is a help. We don't have a preference to what sex we adopt nor do we mind if we adopt more than one child. For example if 2+ siblings were orphaned due to hiv+/aids we would want to keep them together rather than seperate them as we feel strongly about siblings being kept together and as an ex nurse I am very down to earth. Nor do we have a preference to which African country. What we do care about is that the child we adopt knows about their culture/family and if we adopt more than one child that they come from the same family or area. Any help myou can give will be appreciated. As a birth mother I also feel I have compassion to make culture/background/extended birth family important to any child/children we adopt.

Thank you
Pip

[sak9645]

There is only one African country with a truly stable adoption process at this time, and that is Ethiopia. The Ethiopian government licenses foreign adoption agencies wishing to place children, so it may be simply a matter of finding an agency in your country with which to work. As an example, Ethiopia has licensed six non-profit American agencies, and all adoptions from Ethiopia by Americans must go through them. No independent adoption or adoption through a lawyer or facilitator is allowed.

To-date, at least, Ethiopian adoptions have been going quite smoothly. Children of all ages and both genders are available, and there are sibling groups that can be adopted together. Basic health testing is done although, of course, there are no guarantees. Requirements -- age, marital status, etc. -- for parents are fairly liberal. The time frame for adoption is relatively quick, and the fees are generally on the low side for international adoption. Both escort and travel are permitted, when bringing your child home.

Some people are also adopting from Liberia. There are a couple of American agencies that have been working in the country for a few years; I don't know what the situation is abroad. It's a little more risky than Ethiopia, but still reasonably "doable", if you work with a good agency.

With most other African countries, adoption is either risky or impossible. Remember that not all countries permit international adoption. Countries with a high Muslim population may not permit adoption as we know it; the Muslim concept of adoption is more like foster care, with the birthparents retaining parental rights.

In some countries, there is a cultural norm that places a high value on the "blood tie." It may simply be impossible to convince people that foreigners would adopt a child who is "not of their blood" simply because they want to love and nurture a child. They simply can't imagine giving things like one's last name and inheritance rights to an unrelated child. So they assume that a person who wants to adopt is doing so to put the child into the sex trade, to enslave him/her, etc.

There are also countries that have residency requirements of six months to a year or more, which makes adoption difficult for people who cannot leave their homes and jobs for that long. In addition, there are countries that will place a child only with people holding citizenship in their country, or who are related to the child, or who have the same religion as the child.

Some African countries do not have clearcut adoption laws and procedures. Adoption from these countries is very risky, as you might hear one answer from one Ministry and another answer from another Ministry as to what paperwork is required, and so on. This can tie up an adoption for years.

In such situations, corruption may also be a factor, and you don't want to participate in a process where baby-selling, bribery, and so on are rampant. You could wind up losing a lot of money, and not getting a child who is eligible to immigrate to your country.

Countries that are in the midst of a war or natural disaster generally are NOT open to international adoption, and won't be for at least a year. Here are just a few of the reasons:

1. At such a time, it is often difficult to know who is truly an orphan or abandoned child. Many times, the Mom will be in one refugee camp, the child will be in another, and the Dad will be across the border, working as a guerilla warrior. No one will know where the other is. It would be horrible to adopt that child and take him/her out of the country, when the parents are simply waiting for things to simmer down so they can find their child and make a home for him.

2. It is considered good adoption practice to consider international adoption only AFTER efforts have been made to find a child a permanent, loving family in his/her own country. In a time of war or disaster, there may well be relatives or neighbors who would want to take in an orphaned child -- once they can rebuild their demolished home, find work, etc. It might take them a year to do so. Taking a child out of the country for adoption before they have a reasonable chance to do so is simply not right.

3. Adoption is a legal process, which consists of terminating the legal rights of the birthparents and declaring the child to be in the permanent custody of the adoptive family. In times of war or natural disaster, a country's courts may not be operating, and may be unable to either finalize an adoption or give a child to a family under a decree of guardianship for adoption overseas. In fact, even if government services are operating, their first priorities will usually be things like burying the dead, preventing the spread of disease, providing food and water, preventing looting, etc. They will not be reviewing the paperwork of prospective parents.

4. In an adoption, the child's physical, mental, and emotional situation must be assessed, so that he/she can be placed with a family who can meet his/her needs. In times of war or natural disaster, it may be difficult or impossible to get trained workers to an orphanage or refugee center to do an assessment, because civilian aircraft aren't flying and the roads are impassible. Those already on the scene may be swamped with more pressing problems, such as ensuring that food is doled out equitably, and that sick children get medical attention.

Unless you have very great familiarity with a specific African country's political, legal, and cultural climate, you would do well to stick with one of the countries -- particularly Ethiopia -- where successful adoptions are happening regularly.

Sharon

[swcg]

Leah,

Could you share some more info about Rwanda's adoptions? Are there any specific religious or age requirements to be met? Are infants or younger children available?

Also, what agencies are working there? Sorry for all the questions; I would be very interested to hear more about the country's current status given all the turmoil there in recent years.

My email address is hollyhatt@hotmail.com if it's easier to write privately.

Cheers All,

Holly

[mom81lea]

Sharon, Thanks for all the info. Even though I have alot of contacts over there it is always helpful to hear what other people are thinking. You made a great point about how the culture you are adopting out of may view adopting. I had not thought about that. I'll have to ask my friends how that is viewed in Rwanda. Thanks!!

[Montraviatommyg]

Sharon, thanks for your advice as well so I will start looking into what agencies can help. My dh and I are very keen to go ahead with this which is why I wanted advice from others who have been "there" before I started the process. I will keep checking in with our progress so any more advice from you and anybody else will be more than welcomed.

Pip

[sak9645]

One of the single women who was in my China travel group -- you go in groups when finalizing your Chinese adoptions -- is currently living in Rwanda with her daughter.

She has worked in various countries in Africa before, and truly loves many of them. What was supposed to be one year in Rwanda has now stretched into three, and we are all waiting to see if she actually comes back this year! Her daughter, now age nine, attends a Belgian school there, where the language of instruction is French.

Despite the woman's close ties with Africa, she chose to adopt from China because, among other things, the country has such an organized and ethical adoption system.

There are no "surprises" about the fees (which are among the lower ones in intercountry adoption), the time frame is usually pretty predictable, and you simply won't get asked for bribes. All foreigners adopting from China must get their referrals from the China Center for Adoption Affairs, a branch of the Chinese government, which works closely with countries such as the U.S. to ensure that referred children are eligible for immigration.

Any foreigner -- even one of Chinese origin -- adopting a non-relative from China must work through an agency in his/her country that China has accredited. Independent adoptions, and adoptions through facilitators and lawyers are banned, because they were the primary cause of the corruption that plagued China adoption prior to the enactment of its current adoption law in 1992.

So while your heart is in Africa, and it is very important to feel drawn to the country where your child is, you need to recognize that other considerations should also play a major role in your decision about where to adopt. As an example, if you are very risk averse, you probably don't want to adopt from any African country except, perhaps, Ethiopia. Adoption from a country where, at most, a dozen kids are adopted internationally every year is almost always a daunting proposition.

If you are concerned about how a child will be accepted in your community, you may want to consider whether transracial adoption is right for you; there are challenges, and it isn't for everyone. If you are not "typical" in terms of age, disability, length of marriage, etc., you may need to find a country that has flexible requirements. If you are worried about your ability to parent a child with physical or mental challenges, you need to identify countries where children with no known disabilities are available, and where the medical reports are usually fairly accurate. And so on.

On the other hand, I want to encourage you to continue thinking about Africa, because the need for adoptive homes is so great in some of the countries. There are so many children who have been orphaned or abandoned or relinquished as a result of wars, famines, the AIDS crisis, and so on. And Black children often have a harder time finding adoptive homes than children of other races.

One country I failed to mention in my last post was South Africa. For a long time, foreigners could not adopt there. However, that changed in 2000 or so. At one point, a number of agencies in the U.S. were looking at developing programs there. However, because South Africa has ratified Hague Convention #33 on intercountry adoption, and the U.S. has not yet done so (though it has passed the necessary implementing legislation), this turned out not to be an option, since South Africa wouldn't generally place children in non-Hague countrries.

The U.K. has ratified the Hague, and so adoption from South Africa may be possible for citizens of the U.K. Being American, I am not familiar with South Africa's adoption program, or with its eligibility requirements. But it's worth looking into this country as a possibility.

Sharon

[bluedaisy]

Here's some information from the US Dept. of State about adopting from Rwanda:

http://travel.state.gov/family/adopt...untry_442.html

It sounds like there are no country fees, and you must hire an attorney.

Sharon, since this is a new program, maybe your information is a bit out-of-date? I agree, though, that Ethiopia is a solid option--we're in process of adopting from Ethiopia right now.

[AwaitingBeloved]

Pip,
I saw this thread and got so excited for you.

Good luck. I wish you the best!

[Montraviatommyg]

Well I've taken the plunge and contacted two well established adoption agencies that have been around for many years. At the moment it just doesn't seem real that we are finally going to embark on our own adoption journey as I was beginning to think it would never happen .

Pip

[mom81lea]

I am in the process of getting more info on Rwanda adoptions. I have contacted some good friends of mine over there with 6 or 7 questions about the process and the feasibility of adopting there. I'll post more as soon as I get a response.------Leah

[meimaemomma]

Pip - congratulations!!!!

[Montraviatommyg]

Finally got a sensible response from one of the adoption agencies , the other wasn't very helpful, and the lady send she would pass our details through to the right department. Plu I finally feel like we're getting somewhere .

Pip