[JoceP]

I'm an adoptee who has been searching for my birthfamily. Just yesterday I found my birth mother with the help of a professional searcher. Now I have to tell my parents that I've been searching. My question to all you adoptive parents is - if your adopted child was searching, how would you want them to tell you? I've keep my search hidden out of fear of hurting them. It's been the hardest thing I've ever done, because we're a close family.

Any advice you could give would be wonderful. I want to include them in everything that is starting to happen without hurting them.

Thanks so much!

[kelceesmom]

I think if I were you I would be prepared for some very hurt feelings as a possibility. I am an adoptive mom and I would be hurt that I was finding out this info after the fact.

You state that you have a close family so they should come around quickly. Maybe there won't be anything but positive reactions.

Honesty is always the best policy in my book. Share with them what is needed not something that would hurt them, if that makes sense? Good luck in your journey. It sounds like things will be fine.

[love4]

I am an adoptive mom in reunion. I wanted no secrets. It's hard enough to deal with a reunion let alone dealing with it after the fact. There are many emotions but love always kept us together. Compassion for each others feelings and allowing each to deal with those emotions as they know how. I was very scared and I needed to grieve. It was hard on all of us but we are making it through day by day.