[Lynn Barry]

Some of you have been following my adoptive parent woe story these past two years and have recently read from me that I am fine...really fine...accepted I may never and probably will never have a relationship with my daughter since she left all her adoptive relatives to live in the neighborhood with her birth relatives four year ago and has made little to no attempt to contact us or be a part of our lives...any way...

having said all that...she called twice this week and APOLOGIZED...BUT I also told her exactly what her choices these past four years have meant to the ones she abandoned...I was brutally honest...I said it all...necessary to do? YES...YES...YES...

I will write more about this later...

thank you for this forum...it has saved me over the past two years to be able to share the hell I have been living in AND the email pal I found here has been my saving grace...love4kids...I LOVE YOU!

[dpen6]

Hi there,

I am one that has been following your story. I am so happy that things are changing. Maybe the maturity has started to kick in and she is able to see beyong herself.

Hoping for continued commincation between you, your daughter and the rest of your family!

Donna

[Lynn Barry]

I appreciate your comments and warm wishes...I will keep you posted...four days ago I would not have predicted this...not at all...

HUGS

[Lynn Barry]

I appreciate your comments and warm wishes...I will keep you posted...four days ago I would not have predicted this...not at all...

HUGS

[love4]

My heart is with you, lynn. You are a great friend and you deserve the best. I am happy that you were able to talk with your daughter and she called twice with an apology!! Hugs to you! Love always. love4

[joanne109]

Hi Lynn,
As another adoptive mother who has been following your story, I'm so happy for you. Sometimes things happen when you least expect them. It sounds like your daughter is working through her issues and we on this forum know that you have been working hard and become strong, too. You must be pleased that she has begun to realize your important role in her life and has taken the initiative to apologize. Best wishes for a positive healing process to you and your whole family!
Joanne 109

[Lynn Barry]

the apology was nice even if things go back to no contact...wondering if you mean nothing to someone else can bring your self worth down...I will keep you all posted as this impacts so many of us...
HUGS

[Lynn Barry]

I had a talk with my daughter's husband (estranged but the father of her first child) who admits he talks to her weekly.
He told me the reason behind her not contacting us is embarrassment...and he thinks gene influence...that influences her being there or thinking she should be there...and he also told me that she is raising her half brother...
When I heard that I couldn't help feel proud of her...she is saving her brother from the life she was saved from...I may not have her in my life daily but she is in my heart and I now know she never stopped caring...AMEN

[joanne109]

Those are interesting and enlightening reasons - How old was your daughter when you adopted her? and how old is her birth brother? It's good for you to know that she cares about you and family. She seems to be emulating you by creating her role to help her brother. What is her relationship with her estranged husband now? He seems to care about your feelings.

Joanne

[Lynn Barry]

My daughter was five when we adopted her.
She had been in one foster home.
Her half brother is 13, my daugher is 26. Ironically, she has an adopted brother (our youngest) who is also 13.
Her husband says they talk about once a week and are good friends even under the circumstances.
I thought the same thing when I heard she is raising her brother...must want to save him like she was saved from being raised by people who are inappropriate...
Thanks for your much appreciated comments.

[Lynn Barry]

My latest update...two calls and then nothing...I called her once but she wasn't home and I left a message for her to call me but she hasn't.

I am fine though. I got two calls and that is better than none and she said she loves me...life goes on and we take what we can get and I am thankful I am in a place (emotionally) that feels good...like in the Serenity Prayer ... accepting what you can accept.

[Jackiejdajda]

The Full Version of the Serenity Prayer

God, grant me the Serenity
To accept the things I cannot change...
Courage to change the things I can,
And Wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time,
Enjoying one moment at a time,
Accepting hardship as the pathway to peace.
Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is,
Not as I would have it.
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His will.
That I may be reasonably happy in this life,
And supremely happy with Him forever in the next.
Amen.

Attributed to Reinhold Neibuhr

Lynn I try and keep up with what is happening to you and Love4. Accepting what I can not change is my mantra these days... I like the way you wrote it..

Jackie

[cathy102]

Hello...

I think I remember your story a few years ago. I only wish you the best with your daughter. It must of been tough those 4 years with her not calling but I am glad she is contacting you again...

Please keep us updated..

[love4]

I love the full version of the Serenity prayer. It is comforting. As time passes and learning to let go, it gets easier. It still hurts and it probably will always hurt when something triggers rememberance but acceptance brings peace. Life is full of good things to be cherished. I wish my daughter the happiness only God can bring and hope one day she realizes how much we love her. If she finds that comforting and yet still chooses to distance herself, at least there is peace for her in knowing she is loved.

[Jackiejdajda]

Originally Posted by love4

.... at least there is peace for her in knowing she is loved.

And that is the most important thing of all.. IMO

Jackie