[madre_di_multi]

Please - if there is anyone out there that this has happened to , I need to hear from You. We have 2 adopted children ages 13 and 16. Not birth siblings but each has been with us about 3 years. The older child has numerous issues - RAD, ODD, tries to control and manipulate, is sneaky and dishonest and has acted out sexually. 3 months ago both children got in trouble over some issues and ran away. After they ran away they called DHS and reported us for sexual and physical abuse.They have now been out of our home for 2 months and we have run ragged talking to counselors, lawyers, going to court, etc. etc. We feel like our hearts have been ripped out of our bodies. We talked to 3 counselors that have seen this child over the course of her life and all 3, within a 60 minute session said almost exactly the same thing - she is angry and she has decided you are of no use to her anymore so she has either made these things up or is transferring things that happened in her birth family to you - or a combination of both. What is even more heartbreaking is she has manged to convince the younger child that all these things are true so she has an "allie". We have worked with DHS for 5 years in this state and 10 years in another and they did not even take the time to talk to us - just told our kids to pack a bag and whisked them our of our home ( something we told them would never happen to them again) without telling us anymore then "there were allegations made". This is all so unbeliveable it is like living in a a nightmare. Please, if anyone has been through this kind of ordeal I need to hear from you. Right now we just want to get our older child into treatment and our younger child away from her and back home. We do have a lawyer and at least a dozen professional people ( counselors, ex case-workers, other foster parents and previous foster placements) who will testify to both our parenting and our daughter's level of mental issues, but we are still scared to death and bewildered and hurt beyond belief. As far as DHS and the court are concerned we definitely feel like we are "guilty until proven innocent", even though everyone else seems to understand exactly what the situation is. We have already decided we will never do foster care again as there is no way we would ever work with this department again. That is a shame as we have always loved what we do but going through this once has just about done us in. Please share experiences if you can. Thank you.

[Hadley2]

I am so sorry this is happening! I have no experience in allegations, but many people over on the foster boards do. Good luck, it is so hard, so many people do not understand the older child.

[aspenhall]

Go over to the special needs boards...any parents there have dealt with false allegations. I'll copy them here as well...

[millie58]

When I first did my MAPP classes, the caseworkers said that foster kids lie about being abused sexually. I'm surprised they took the kids out of your home without hearing your side.

[BZmom7]

I'm so sorry your going through this...I don't know how I'd do it if we were walking in your shoes. I think this is one of the main reasons why i've always been a little more afraid to foster/adopt older children. I know NOT ALL are like this...but it just scares me how they can accuse.

Good luck....hope things get better soon for you and your family.