[gusmom]

O.K. so this is the coolest forum. I experienced something with our son, adopted and with us since birth that everyone is astounded with but... OUR SON STUNK!!! I am telling you I am the only one who could smell it but within hours after a bath his head smelled like rank B.O. No one else could smell it. I am not one who bonds with babies (our first child is bio) and could really care less until I get some feedback so I wasnt surprised that he felt like a stranger but, this kid stunk!!! I think it is natures way with a child that is not biologically ours. when a friend of mine was pregnant the only thing that nauseated her was the smell of their adopted infant. Now the wild thing is it started to fade away when he started to really interact and I could see that he could recognize me and prefered me. I guess we grew on each other. When I told our adoption attorney she said there are probably more like me but they arent willing to admit and I FOUND YOU!! Yeah! Everyone else things I am strange or making it up but I am sure you will all understand. he is over a year old now and I dont think of him as anybody but our baby of different circumstances but the first few months were pretty tough to stomach literally.

[kretzklan]

Our DD smelled really awful when she first got home. I don't know if it affected my attachment - but I did spend a lot of time trying to figure out ways to help the smell (it was mostly her breath)...it has gone away through good nutrition and dental health...but it was hard to love on her because of the smell for sure!

[aspenhall]

Thanks...it's a relatively new forum...I contacted the moderators and owners during the last reorganization of the boards, and asked why there wasn't one....they had no answer and we weren't even sure what to call it...

So here it is, and YES we exist...I am HUGELY triggered by smells and my dd smelled like a stranger (not bad, but not comforting)

I had read how trying to duplicate the smells in the current home helps a child transition, I bet it would work in reverse....start using the soap/lotion/shampoo of the child so that the smell is familiar.

Also the diet plays a big part in BO. If you have the same diet you recognize the bodily smells as familiar.

If you're freaked out as an adult, think how some kids must feel...

You're not crazy. And a big part of PAD is the difficulty in attaching for whatever the reason. Lucky for you, you were able to bond fairly quickly and avoided the depression end.

For me it's the change that is hardest to adjust to. The "stranger invasion in my life" aspect just adds to the stress.

[gusmom]

yeah, i am kind of weird that way. I am not a very maternal person anyway. When I had our first child a friend asked "doesnt she just fill your heart" My answer was, no, blood fills my heart, right now she fill my ears. Really until I get some feedback that I am appreciated, it is just maintenance for me. Now, I wouldnt hold back at anything if it meant the safety of my children but to just oooh and awww over an infant is just not me. Quite frankly I think a lot of woman fake it because it is expected of them. I am actually forgetting at times that I did not give birth to the second. I was looking at my flabby belly one day and actually caught myself saying (to myself) "well what do you expect, you just had a baby" It is kind of weird about how bad he smelled. the food thing may have been part of it since #1 was breastfed and he wasnt but it was so weird that no one else smelled it. It was rank!!

[EZ2Luv]

I can tell you their is a definate difference in smells between breast fad babies and formula fed babies. Trust me even biomoms can smell the difference in their babies. I can't explain the smell but is is a nauseating smell. I can pick up on that the minute I am around a baby that is on formula even my own. I am sure that the fact that your baby was not bio had a bit to do with it, but I think you are just one of those mommies that can pick up on the formula fed babies smell.
The good news is that you do get immune to the smell especially if the baby is yours be it through adoption or actual birth.

EZ