[tjsjohanna]

I'm coming late to this discussion but I wanted to share my experiences with medications. I finally broke down and went to a therapist after three years of escalating depression, continually crying, and high levels of irritability (and anger). I kept thinking things would get better and I could get through it. But when I cried through an entire session I could see that I was at the bottom. My therapist suggested seeing my doctor, so I did. She prescribed a low dose of Lexapro, which worked like a charm. Overnight I quit crying, I quit feeling angry, I could handle my kids and my life. I was on Lexapro for a year. I would be feeling good and think maybe I was ready to consider coming off it. Then I'd have a couple of weeks where I just felt down. And the longer I was on the medication the more I noticed that I didn't really feel anything. In the beginning that was such a blessing, because I needed a break from all that raging emotion. But eventually I found it depressing. So my doctor switched me to Wellbutrin. The first month was kindof crazy. I felt better in some ways but my irritability went up and it was kindof scary having all these stronger emotions that I wasn't sure I could handle. But now everything is great. I feel good, I have emotion (both positive and negative) but not so overwhelming that I can't cope with a bad day. Part of me wishes I hadn't waited so long to get help. Another part thinks if I had gone sooner I probably wouldn't have seen such dramatic results and so would have thought I didn't really need the help. It has been good to learn that I can need help and I can ask for help and the world doesn't fall apart around me!!