[aspenhall]

I am starting to think about adopting again, but the thought of another transition gives me flashbacks to my panic attacks. Has anyone else been through this? What helped?

I almost feel as if my panic attacks were so traumatic that it has caused PTSD over the initial transition period. I wonder if I fostered a child first would the transition happen easier? Being able to simply be a "long term babysitter" while I adjusted to the changes in our life regarding the new addition.....along those lines of thinking.

When I imagine a new child I get the stirrings of a panic attack, but when I imagine my dd playing with a sibling I feel all warm and fuzzy.

HEE HEE I guess I really don't handle change well at all!

[Lilly's Mommy]

No advice, but just wanted to say that I'm anxious to read the responses to come. I'm starting to have thoughts about a second child, but completely FEAR the upheval and sleeplessness that brings. I did NOT do well with that!

[shnoogiepoo]

There is no difference in the initial transision between a straight adoption and a foster placement. However, It is my opinon you would suffer more stress from a foster/adopt situation. You wll fall in love with these children and then constantly be worrying about wether you get to keep them or if they are going back to the conditions they were pulled out of. YOu worry if a family member is going to show up at the last minute and claim rights. I would love to have had a "here's your children" and there's no strings attached anymore. I got my two at 19 months and 3 months (yep, both at the same time, they are siblings) They are now 3 and 4 1/2 and we are still waiting to finalize the adoption.

Was it worth it? yeah, but very stressful.

[akcskye]

I would tend to agree.

Fostering only is not a guaranteed deal.

Imagine if you were taking the steps needed to help with the PADS and then a family member saying "we'll take him/her"?

I can't imagine that!

That's why we went straight foster/adopt...our children's TPR was already in force, and they were legally free.

What I would suggest is an extended transition period for your new child.

In my opinion, it would help both of you learn about each other and get used to each other before the big "I'm here forever" day.