[mamaluna]

"Those are for the puppies"

when biological DD was 4, our dog had puppies. I walked into the living room one day to find her lying on the floor on her belly amongst the puppies, sampling their dinner. The mother dog was completely happy about it - she had been trying to nurse DD since the moment we brought her home from the hospital, but DD was not so pleased. She got a bit of milk in her mouth and looked up at me and said "Yuck!"

Once in a lifetime. 8 years later, it is still good for laughs.

[mybaby]

This thread is too cute to let it die off.

"step away after flushing the toilet, germs fly out of there!"

"you have food on your plate. Why are you eating the crumbs off the table?"

"Yes, Yes I know. They are doing "ring around the rosie" (after she looks up all excited, after looking at the poop go round and round after she flushed)

[skilack]

"Please don't stick your fingers up the dogs nose"

I don't know how many times I have said that one. My then three year old would put her two fingers up our dog's(lab-thank God they are the most gentle dogs EVER) and move his head like he was a puppet. The things that dog had to put up with.

[katlyn]

These are too funny....I wish I would have written some of mine down!
I can only think of two
both of which belong to my four year old son who was 2 and 3 at the times

Get your head out of the toilet please

At a restaurant my son had sausage links
I cut them all up but one,
then looked over to see him licking the one I hadn't cut up yet
without thinking I told my husband, dear your son is licking his sausage
To which the waitress cleaning the table beside us thought was truly funny

[aura]

This is just the cutest thread ever. I have a three year old and I have used many of the statements here, my little girl is rather nosey and curious and gets into everything. I think the latest one I used was dogs don't use toilet paper. Bre is still in the final stages of potty training and I think she figured because she has to wipe so do the dogs, well, yep, she tried to help our 70 pound dog after she came in from doing her business....lets just say I never thought I would be saying "dogs don't use toilet paper"!




Of course there is always this one....no, mommy is not kissing your boo boo there. This was after she fell and bruised her rear!

[NJNative]

Hmmm...I know I have lots of these. Let's see. John, don't:

Chalk the dog blue.
Put a fighter jet up the dog's nose ever again.
Stick keys in electrical outlets.
Chew your shirt.
Eat dog biscuits.
Snap worms in half.
Bring anything that is or was alive into the house.
Wash turtles in the kitchen sink.
Snorkle in your bath water.
Wear a wetsuit outside of the house (the neighbors already think we're weird).

I know there are more...I will think of them later and post again.

Robin

[GCS]

Robin - your John sounds a lot like my Sam! We love to use our "scuba gear" to "dive" in the big tub. He has to move all the rolly-polly's before I can pull my car out of the garage and has a habit of bringing in things that are or were recently alive.

Dennis the Menace hasn't got anything on this one!

A few new ones and good ones -

"No, Momma is not going to put lotion on your pee-pee." After he points out the one area on his dry skin I did not lather in lotion. "You forgot this." He tells me.

"You may only use 3 squares of toliet paper" after an expensive meeting with a plumber.

"Dont fart on your sister, that's not nice". This needs no explaination.

[katlyn]

Got a new one....
My four yr old drew some pictures and my baby who's only 11 months got ahold of them

me
don't rip those out of your brothers hands you'll give him a paper cut
son
I won't
me
did you rip those out of your brothers hands
son
no, well I only ripped them out gently

[bajj]

Originally Posted by GCS

"Dont pick up used gum and eat it" He used to search under tables for gum when we were still in Russia - he, thankfully is long out of this stage.

"You don't need to smell Sophia's dirty diaper".

LOL! My friend's little girl used to say, "O Mommy, some kind person left me gum under here!"

I have to tell my oldest ds that no, he really doesn't want to SEE what is in the baby's diaper!

I also have to tell him, "No, the gecko can't live in your pocket."

"No, you can't eat like a dog because you are not a dog, you're a boy."

[LegalEagleMom]

With being an attorney I have taken my daughter to court with me and now she runs around yelling "I object" to anything you tell her.

[aspenhall]

"Quit playing with your nipples and EAT!"

I dunno why she twists and pinches them...she says it helps her think....

[txhappyfam]

Just this morning after reading a note from her kindergarten teacher I heard myself say "Why did you drink the paint water during art? Did it taste good?"

I have also said for the nine hundredth time "Repeat after me I~C~E~, Ice, Ice, cream!" She always calls it ***-cream.

[homersmom]

My 3 year old had informed us that a little boy had shown his butt on the playground, and I told him to not look at anyones butt and to tell the teacher. Lo and behold, the next day my son had joined the 'butt club' and shown his butt on the playground. In the midst of scolding him, I told him that "We are not butt showing people".

[NJNative]

Originally Posted by homersmom

My 3 year old had informed us that a little boy had shown his butt on the playground, and I told him to not look at anyones butt and to tell the teacher. Lo and behold, the next day my son had joined the 'butt club' and shown his butt on the playground. In the midst of scolding him, I told him that "We are not butt showing people".

ROFLLLLLL. Didn't he ask you why not? I know my son at 3 certainly would have wanted to know why we weren't butt showing people...LOL.

Robin

[katlyn]

I know my sister won't mind if I share this . My nephew is 6 and very smart, he's an only child and he's sure to be a doctor or something like that, he's not athletic and doesn't care to play with "toys"(ie cars,trucks, or much else) My sister called me and was telling me how he doesn't even like to go outside and play, she made him go on a walk with her and he made every excuse in the book to go back home, including...."i'd like to work on my homework"...LOL!
His teacher was waiting one day after school with him, and my sister said that as soon as my nephew saw her he started crying and said..."mommy...I had a bad day" , to which his teacher replied..."you aren't in trouble, I just need to have a talk with your mommy". It seems they have what they call "circle time" and they each tell something nice about someone else, and when it got to my nephew he told this little girl "you have nice breasts"....LMBO! My sister was cracking up...that pretty much tops most of my funnies.