[GCS]

I hadn't read the book yet, but I would never lock Sam in his room. That would not be an option. The reason I didnt start 1-2-3 last year when it was recommended to me was that I figured he would just manipulate it and only do what was asked at 3. But now days I would be happy for him to respond by 3. Not good, I know, but honest.

Its the little stuff like putting on his shoes, coat or getting dressed in the morning. I just hate having to harp on him over and over and then having it turn into some kind of punishment because he didnt listen. I cant say I am ready to go commando on this kind of thing because it seems so small, but I also realize that the little stuff turns into bigger stuff as they get older and that not listening is just plain not listening in end, no matter what the task is.

Christina

[aspenhall]

I ask twice nicecly and the 2nd time I warn that this is the last time I'll ask/remind nicely...Then I give her an appropraite amount of time to get dressed and then at the end of that time (5-10 min) I tell her she has 20 seconds left and we're leaving and I count to 20 (slowly) she'll whine and argue for the first 10 but I respond with "you're wasting time argueing!"...If I were you GCS, I'd warn him on time #2 that there will be no more warnings and he WILL go to school in his pajamas (with shoes) He might try to call your bluff, so whatever you do stick to it, no handing him clothes in the car, no putting them in his backpack for later.... NO RESCUING HIM FROM THE CONSEQUENCES ....then he only learns that you don't mean what you say....not a good lesson.

It IS SMALL stuff because he knows you will do NOTHING if it is small and he wins. He doesn't dare defy you on the big stuff, because he knows what happens. My dd keeps her defiance so miniscule that even dh doesn't recognize it as defiance. And ANY defiance is simply unacceptable and THAT is where commando parenting comes in....not the I forgot, I got distracted, I'm 4 and this is just me being little.....but the behaviors that are DEFIANT.....no matter how small. It is allowing him to disrespect you and he will grow up NOT respecting you (I did with my parents). Being DEFIANT is not a "small thing".......he simply has chosen a smaller battleground. One he knows he can win on.