[aspenhall]

This is multiple choice too.

[mj77]

I'm glad you brought up this subject because this is something I went through and felt a tremendous amount of guilt over. My son did have some drug withdrawls, but I think the hard time I had with depression in this case was over the fact I feared losing him. His bfamily went back and forth in trying to decide whether they'd pursue adoption of him or not. He was placed with us because at the time it looked like an adoptive case. I was torn between needing to love him as my son and guarding my heart to lose him. Even when the case was looking better, I wonder if I held some subconcious resentment for him having family that wanted him? It sounds terribly sick now, but I don't feel that way anymore.

Things can get better!

MJ

[ALI143]

Oh, MJ! Your feelings seemed very reasonable and understandable. I'm so glad things turned around and your bonding reached another level. NO MORE GUILT .


For me, I know my little one didn't cause my depression, but her withdrawl from me and regression sure triggered the stress. Mostly it was the people in her life all had more control over her, our lives, and schedule than we did. I feared losing her even though she was legally free, but not finalized. Luckily I found support (I'll always be grateful for) to get tough and be firm about my feelings. Once I was able to take my control back I started to feel less stressed and that eased my depression. *Long hard sigh.....*

[qs mom]

When I picked up my son from the orphanage, he wanted nothing to do with me being close. He pushed me away if I tried to lay with him. But he didn't reisist being held or kissed lightly on the cheek.

But, his SI and sleep problems are what put me under. My perfectly healthy boy is special needs. So much so, that I'm thinking of applying for Social Security disability. All they can do is tell me no.

He's had OT, SLP, and counceling for 2 years. PT for 1 year. He attended theraputic pre-school. He 'K' teacher is recommending theraputic school for next year. He's also started EMDR therapy.

[angelkisses0102]

My son has attachment issues...at first we thought he was legally blind...and had a bunch of health issues...so I know that contributed to my depression...plus he didn't sleep until 3 weeks ago...so sleep deprivation played a huge role in my depression! He was a mess and so was I!

[Bassette]

I think I experience PAD but it was not due to Kiran's arrival. Well, actually it was indirectly. It was due to my husband's inability to adjust and cope with the demands of an infant. He was ill prepared for the arrival of his son although he eagerly awaited this occasion. Ultimately our 50/50 participation in baby responsibilities were adjusted to 95/5 *LOL* and things drastically improved. FWIW he is an engineer with stressful employment and looking back it was unrealistic to expect him to co-parent 50/50 when he arrived home from work. For us, it was all about the adjustments.

[GCS]

Bassette
I totally relate to your post. I think the most stressful part of those first 3 months home was trying to manage my husband's behavior toward our children and his disillusions about life with our children. I felt that I had to be completely positive and always "on" and it was exhausting. By the 3rd month I was a zombie.
He had such unrealistic expectations even after all the information I had shared with him. Luckily, I had good resources and was pretty well prepared.

The other thing for us was that we were all so sick those first 3 months. Just one flu after the next. It was impossible to gain any momentum.

Christina