[aspenhall]

I was reading "Driven to Distraction" one day last Fall. It's a book for Adults with ADD. I knew I have ADD, but I wanted to read more about it to see if I was doing all I could be to cope with it. One of the paragraphs struck me HARD. It was nearly a word for word description of my feelings during the first few days after placement. Put it in the context of "task" meaning project, such a an adoption, and pay attention to the term TRANSITION in the first sentance. They are speaking about smaller levels, but imagine, if this is what happens on a small scale, what an adoptive placement would do to the ADD mind....
Here is the paragraph, quoted exactly as it appears in the book......

"1. Something startles the brain. It may be a transition, like waking up, or going from one appointment to the next, or it may be the completion of a task, or the recieving of some piece of news. It may be, and usually is, trivial, but the 'startle' requires some reorganization on the part of the brain.
2. A minipanic ensues. The mind doesn't know whare to look or what to do. It has been focused on one thing and is now being asked to change sets. This is very disorganizing. So the mind reaches out ofr something red-hot, something to focus on. Since worry is so "hot", and therefore so organizing, the mind finds something to worry about.
3. Anxious rumination replaces panic. While anxious rumination is painful, it is at least organized. One can say over and over in one's mind, thousands of times a day, 'Will I get my taxes paid on time?' or 'Does that look mean she is angry with me?' or 'Did I pass the exam?' The panic induced bay the 'startle' is replaced by the focused ache of anxious rumination."

If this is about simple task to task thinking transitions, how much WORSE would a life altering transition such as adoption, or completion of a project like preparing for an adoption, be?

My explainations of panic and anxiety and being stuck in a cycle of panic and fear may have more to do with ADD. The guilt and depression follows.....