[aspenhall]

I wanted to start a thread that discusses specifically the rays of sunshine that pierce the clouds of PADS. Rare as they might be, if you focus on them, write them down and post it on your mirror, tell others about them, they seem to multiply and even get brighter. By identifying the high points we can duplicate them over and over again.

I'll go first with a few of the first happy moments I felt.

I feel warmth in my heart when......

My daughter rubs my back and doesn't need me to have a conversation while she does it.

My daughter learned something I was deliberately teaching her (letters).

My daughter misses me.

[kretzklan]

I feel rays of sunshine when...

My daughter says "MY mom" over and over

My son actually answers a question I ask him (and maybe even correctly)

[angelkisses0102]

~ To watch Alex play with his daddy's hand for a half hour....(this from a child who didn't go willingly to his daddy for 11 months.)

~ To hear my baby boy laugh out loud (since he made no sounds other than crying at 8 months old.)

~ To actually see joy in Alex's eyes!

[aspenhall]

Today's "Rays"

When dd got in trouble for telling me her room was picked up (and it wasn't) and I made her stay in her room until it was picked up...she resisted with attitude for about 30 seconds then started to pick up. After 10 min it was pretty quiet, and I figured she was just playing...I went in to check and she had it nearly all the way done...happily !!and without getting distracted!!! So I helped her finish and we made spots for the things she didn't know where to put. She also put away *neatly* all her laundry that I had folded and left on her bed... ALL WITHOUT ME HAVING TO ASK/TELL HER MORE THAN ONCE!

She didn't let the grumpies take over today (attitude about not getting her way etc..)

Here's a tip.....it's IMPOSSIBLE to feel negatively towards ANYONE who is giving you a head/neck/back/foot etc.. massage..... AND it's great for bonding.

Make those rays happen!!!

[angelkisses0102]

This is why we fought so hard for Alex those first long and horrible 11 months...this was last February...and the first time he did this. It took him 11 months and he is only 19 months old in this picture. I never imagined a baby so young could hurt so bad.

[AwaitingBeloved]

Hi guys,
I'm still on the waiting side of things, but wanted to let you know I appreciate the awareness you are bringing to this. I didn't know such a thing existed until a couple weeks ago when I saw my first thread on PAD.

And, angelkisses, what a powerful photo. That's a treasure.

Thanks to all of you for sharing your pain, and your rays of sunshine, with all of us.

[maddensmom]

My ray of sunshine for today...
I kept ds home from school today and we played... then, without prompting, while I was tending to another task, he came up behind me and laid quite the hug on the back of my knees... then, about 30 minutes later, he came to kiss me out of the blue. I love this boy like a crazy person!

[aspenhall]

I just walked past my dd's room to see her picking up toys (I had just gotten after her) and in a sweet, happy voice singing the words..."I am a girrrlllll....who has EVERYTHIIIIINGG!!!!" over an over again

[maddensmom]

My son is refusing to let me leave the room. If I walk out for a minute I hear "Mama, Mama, Mama". I know this sound like a pain in the butt but until recently, I could have gone to Egypt and he wouldn't have cared...

[Pinkie]

My ray of sunshine for today is picking up some photo's which have just been developed and realising the pale, gaunt, black under the eyes little face that arrived 6 weeks ago has turned into chubby cheeks!!!!

[Pinkie]

My ray of sunshine today is a BIG ONE!!............When I visited Antonina on Trip 1 and went back for Court, I always knew her to like her hair in little pony tails. Her hair was always decorated in bright coloured clips/hair bands and looked so pretty off her face.......Since she has been in my care...........nadie!! zilch!!, makes a big fuss when I as much as brush her hair!!

Now, I've been building up to this day by buying nice hair stuff. I took some to russia for trip 2 (she promptly put them away) for christmas (no reaction), then saturday we bought some nice things at the market.

Then today was the big day, as I was combing her hair she said "Mummy, this way" and indicated that she wanted her hair in pony tails.

I was so proud to take her to school with her hair looking so bright (and I could see her face for once), I kept looking in the rear view mirror as we drove along.

The big ray of sunshine for me is because I see it as Antonina letting her defenses down a little by allowing me to fix her hair nicely. Today is going to be a good day!!!!

[mikeintexas]

These are all great! Keep them coming.

[aspenhall]

Quick, off topic....

Pinkie, hair brushing/handling/petting is an attachment activity. Schedule time perhaps right before bed to brush out her hair for her...no styling just brushing to relax.

Ok, my ray today was nothing big. Simply a child who isn't showing anxiety and insecurities (yet today). She is playing with a friend, helping me with the baby (not mine) and generally being NORMAL!!!

[RBSVARCHER]

I made cup cakes last night and gave one to David.

My ray of sunshine for today is David knowing what a "cake cup" was....(cup cake) They must have them at school for other children's birthday parties.

Just thinking.... a little over a year ago his eyes were a blank stare and we could not communicate with eachother, and now he is running around eating "cake cups"!!!!!

Susan
Bham AL

[angelkisses0102]

My ray of sunshine is after taking Alex to the ER on Sunday for a gash on the back of his head...and a few staples to close said gash...we have NOT slid backwards in our attachment progress. I was so scared this would be a trigger...and I am certain a few months ago it would have been...but not this time!