[Kimberj71]

Ok, here's something I've been wondering. Are there any long terms effects of Post adoption depression? Does is permanently affect your relationship with your child? Or have long term mental health implications?

The reason I ask is that I experienced some mild Post adoption depression with my youngest daughter. While all those feelings are in the past and I'm doing fine, some of the guilt of those early days when she was first home comes back to me at times. She and I have bonded as far as I can tell, but I find myself wondering when she throws a tantrum or prefers her dad to me if it's because of the early PAD stuff I went through. Or is it just a personality thing or a mommy/daughter thing?

I'm not sure this is making any sense. Just wondered what you all thought about any lasting effects of PADs.

Kim

[aspenhall]

I think it may alter in a small part her perception of your relationship....but more strongly I suspect the "new cow" theory (movie reference hee hee)
....Daddy is a novelty...you are an all day everyday occurrance. She gravitates to the novelty!
Also it may be a personality click with him.

[angelkisses0102]

As much as I couldn't stand the sight of Alex some days...(God it still hurts to write that) I have found that I am completely in love with him now...but, he will be home 2 years in March.

But being in love with him does not mean there aren't days he drives me nuts...although he is a toddler, so what do I expect?!

As for long term effects, I have been on meds for 18 months...tried twice to go off and it wasn't pretty. So, I will stay on a while longer before we wean me off. The biggest long term effect for me is the current med has given me an extra 15 ouinds I could do without!

[lippylulu]

I became extremely depressed the first month home with our 8 year old daughter. Part of it was because my husband had cancer surgery 5 days after we got home (thank goodness he is ok now), part of it was because I was so exhausted from the traveling and a relentless sinus infection, and part was because our daughter almost immediately began acting out with behaviors and emotional meltdowns. I was just so tired and overwhelmed even though I considered myself educated and prepared for the experience. There were times when I just broke down to tears, but this actually seemed to help my relationship with my daughter because she would usually come over and hug ME---not exactly the healthiest dynamic but it surely wasn't a disaster. The worst part was feeling like I was not allowed to feel depressed or complain. Afterall, we waited forever for his child...how could I now complain about how hard it was? Once I admitted this to some people, I started feeling better. The depression lasted about 4-6 weeks. Now, we are home 4 months, and I can honestly say we are ALL doing as well as anyone could hope. I do not feel my depression had a negative impact. That being said, if it had gone on much longer, I DO think it would have set a bad precedent and would have negatively impacted how I ultimately handled my daughter's emotional and behavioral issues. My best advice is not to be afraid to admit your feelings to others, and to get professional help right away. What a difference it made for me!