[aspenhall]

This is a multiple choice poll.
You choose if view yourself this way or others say this is how they view you --both ways count.

[crick]

think the like to be in charge will be a dominant trait? he he

[aspenhall]

hehehe
I was gonna put control freak....but likes to be in charge sounded nicer!
LOLOLOL

[angelkisses0102]

LOL! As I was doing the poll...I sort of guessed the results would look like mine...every other one. Hmmm?!

[HollyB]

After I answered I realized it totally depends on if we are talking at home or at work. At work I don't want to be in charge and I'm pretty laid back. However, at home I am definitely the dominant parent (my husband will back me on this) and I would refuse to give up that role.

[niandca]

I must have a split personality..they're ALL me.

[aspenhall]

I'm all of them too, depending...but on the whole as an average in EVERY situation possible I definately lean one way. I suppose I should put the "On your own turf (home, space, projects etc...)" are you the following?

I made it multiple choices ok.

[Southernroots]

Wow, as a reunited birth mom, that poll is pretty revealing I think! I wonder what a similar poll would look like for birth parents?

[BrandyHagz]

Southern ,

You should ask a Host on one of the birthparent forums to create one.

I think the poll is revealing as well - it reveals that no matter what others might think, adoptive parents are just as human as everyone else.

[crick]

Originally Posted by Southernroots

Wow, as a reunited birth mom, that poll is pretty revealing I think! I wonder what a similar poll would look like for birth parents?

Revealing how? That a lot of women like to be in charge? I think that's a pretty common trait amongst a lot of us (meaning women) in general really.

[aspenhall]

Just a note, the responders on this poll I am supposing are Aparents who have had some level of Post Adoptive Depression..... In hopes that a common thread will be found that shows what who would potentially be at higher risk for getting PADS. This isn't a poll that represents ALL aparents....

I think that motivating factors for any decision/experience in a group of people is revealing.

[Southernroots]

I noted that "likes to be in charge", "dominant personality", "perfectionist" and "feeling lost when things don't go as planned" were ALL the more popular choices.

Not trying to start a war, just found it interesting. I fit with some of those myself so, I am not being critical or judgmental, just making an observation.

It did occur to me that having all those qualities might not necessarily make an open adoption go too smoothly. For instance, wouldn't it perhaps be harder to make the necessary compromises and adjustments an open adoption might require if one is a perfectionist, a dominant personality and likes to be in charge? Just a thought.

Again, just an observation and not tryng to start something, just something to consider.

As someone mentioned too, our work and home personalities can differ.

[aspenhall]

For me (control freak perfectionist)..... Open Adoption is better, because I have a sense of control when I have knowledge. Closed allows for zero exchange of knowledge and what knowledge you do get can always be questioned and 2nd guessed because it is unverifiable. With Openness, I have options and choices, more so than I would with Closed.

I don't like to control PEOPLE per se, so much as I like to steer situations and help determine direction in a group.

I also have ADD, so perfectionism/control is a necessity....a way to limit the endless chaos that is my everyday life. I don't have to try to remmeber where I put something, because most EVERYTHING must be in it's place at all times.

[aspenhall]

ALSO, I polled this to see if the ap's who tend to struggle more after adopting happen to also like being in control (yeah, try having things totally handled with a toddler)....hence WHAM !....PADS system failure, total meltdown, ....

Here's a visual..you know those gyroscope thingys?? well, there is an excersize machine/game where you try to keep the hoop you are strapped into upright while the others are twisting and spinning. Once you are upright and stable it takes mass effort to maintain that inner hoops stability..... an adoption whacks your inner hoop (circle), throwing you out of stability and off balance and sends you careening at the mercy of the other spinning hoops pushs and pulls.....whereas....if you are not trying to stabilize the inner hoop, then being bumped or spinning harder doesn't have much of a change on your current movements.

WHOOoooo I'm getting dizzy just typing the explanation (need a barf smiley LOL)

[mikeintexas]

Originally Posted by crick

That a lot of women like to be in charge? I think that's a pretty common trait amongst a lot of us (meaning women) in general really.

Sigh.