[BELONGTOGOD]

Hello,

My husband and I have been married for 12 years. We have three children son(10), daughter (7) and daughter (4). We have been on several mission trips to Guatemala and this last trip God did something in my husbands heart. I knew that what he felt God was saying would be life changing. I have been trying remain closed to the idea. But God keeps speaking. I like my life, I love the ages of my children. Would God ask us to adopt a child?

I am praying that God will reveal to us specifically if this is the case. The cost is overwhelming.

We both see this child as older. Maybe 2 to 5 years. Does anyone have experience with this?

Help us pray! Any comments or suggestions would be very much appreciated!

[sweetnoodle]

I am a Christian, so I hope I can speak wise counsel into your life. There are two issues you are addressing, and I don't know if you realize it. One is your personal feelings, and one is money. If God is calling you to do something, you have to be obedient regardless of money issues because He is capable of always providing the resources for things He calls us to do. I searched for my birthfamily because of the Lord calling me to do it, not because it with went what I was taught all my life to do or because it seemed logical. I found them, and I never spent a penny, and I never did anything illegal or unethical. However, the more important issue you raise is whether you really want another child. That is a separate issue. Spouses have to be in unity to be completely in the Lord's will. It doesn't appear that you both are in unity, and until the Lord changes one of your hearts, I pray you do not receive an adopted child into your home. I am a mom too, and married. Thank you, and bless you.

[HappyTwinsMom]

...if you earnestly seek it and pray. Some friends of mine had made a very prayerful decision to not have children (medical issues, etc.). God richly blessed their lives and they felt no need to be more than a family of two. Then, the husband went to Haiti on a mission trip. He met a child in an orphanage that God spoke to him very clearly about adopting. He tried to close himself off from the idea, because they had always believed they would remain childless. After much discussion with his wife and prayerful consideration, they felt very strongly that God's will was for them to adopt this child. Turns out the little boy had a younger sister also available for adoption, and they are now a happy family of four.

Don't let finances stand in your way. If God is calling you to this, He'll let you know in no uncertain terms and will provide a way to pay for it. If you feel any uncertainty about this being His will, don't do it. Keep praying until you are absolutely certain and at peace.

In Him,

[DianeS]

If the cost of the adoption itself is your largest concern (as opposed to the cost of raising a child once they are in your home), then consider adopting a child who currently resides in foster care in the United States. The state has a great interest in removing these children from abusive homes, and terminating the parents rights if the parents cannot get their act together, so the only costs involved in adopting one of these children is the cost of the final court paperwork. (Where I live, that final paperwork costs only $125.)

Now, the children in foster care have been abused, and neglected, and have developed some tremendous coping mechanisms because of it. This is not for the faint of heart--but then, God wouldn't need to call anyone to anything if he only called to easy things.

Good luck in whatever you decide...

[JustMe]

BelongToGod, just wanted to let you know that I am praying for you and your family - that God will give you clarity as you seek Him!

SweetNoodle & HappyTwinsMom have great words of wisdom.

Isn't it funny how you can be happily going on with your life, and then WHAM, a thought comes in that the Lord might be leading you in a direction you never thought you would take?

Yes, you and your spouse have to be in unity about this, but I'm sure this is nothing new to you!

Yes, it's expensive, but when it's God's timing, it all falls into place. You and your family have to know that you know that you know in your heart that it's the right thing to do and then step out in faith - and the rest just happens.

I've been in a great Bible study lately that talked about the Israelites crossing the Jordan to get to Jericho. It says that the Jordan was already at flood stage when they had to cross. The priests had to cross first before the rest of the tribes could go. When the priests feet had touched the water, the Jordan River's downstream waters pield up in a heap, and the priests stood on dry ground holding the Ark of the Covenant. (See Joshua chapters 3 -4 for this story).

Now the teacher of this study went on to say that the Jordan's headwaters start up in a mountain called Mount Hebron, many miles above sea level, and then runs down to the Dead Sea, many leagues below sea level. Where the Jordan starts - is calm and peaceful, where the Jordan ends is very big, wide and turbulant from rushing down all that way from the top of the mountain to the depths of that sea. Where the children of Israel crossed was right before the Dead Sea area to get to Jericho. No nice safe stream for them. Noooo...they're at a raging river -at normal river stage. But to add to it - it's at flood stage. Gee - thanks God for making this easy. A big raging river at flood stage is not the greatest place for one to walk, swim, boat accoss.

And then Joshua tells the priest (in Holly's paraphrase) "Y'all go on ahead and stand in the river and the people will follow." Can't you just see the faces of the priests? Holding on to a really heavy golden Ark? I can see them conversing with each other "You know, I've always been in the front carrying the ark and you've always been in the back. How bout we switch and you be in front and I'll be in back this time? It's only fair." Of course, we have no idea what the priests said if anything. I just can see them staring at Joshua and then at the river. I know what I would be thinking. "Me step into river. Me holding big weight. Me plunge to the bottom like a rock."

Now the other misconception I had was that I thought that the priests would gradually decend down into the river bank, but the teacher said that where they had to cross, there was no place to decend. No nice sand bar, no nothing. Where they had to step would plunge them immediately over their heads. In other words, I thought it would be like the shallow end of a swimming pool where they could step down into the river. The teacher said it was more like walking right off the deep end of the pool. So no matter what, the first step would take them over their heads. So for them to step out into the Jordan was a very big step of faith.

And then did it....

And the Jordan stopped flowing on one side...

And the ground wasn't muddy. It wasn't slippery. It was dry. Instantaniously dry.

But it would of never happened if the priests hadn't stepped out in faith that God would do what He said he would. They didn't wait for the Jordan to stop flowing. They had to put their foot out in a flooded river and then see God work.

That's how I felt when I started out in the world of adoption. The finances looked like a huge flooded river that kept me barred against the Promise Land that I knew God had promised my family and me. It was a plunge of faith to say, "OK, God - we haven't the money and the resources, but you said do it, so we're doing it." And we stepped out in the flooded river. And God provided and here we are with our son.

Like a friend told me one time, "God is always on time, but never early."

Praying with you,

Holly

[toothmama]

God has called my husband and I to adopt. We have two biological children, but I began to feel that little tug at my heart over 3 years ago. The timing was not right, because my husband was not feeling that same tug! We discussed it, and prayed about it but my husband did not feel a peace with adoption. I resolved myself to prayer. I knew that if this was God's plan for our family, that we would both have to have this desire layed on our hearts. This last summer my husband came to me and told me he felt we were to adopt. We are awaiting a referral from China, and expect to travel this fall. We too had no idea how we would pay for the adoption, but the Lord truly does provide. My advice is to listen and pray. You will know in God's time.

[JanetC]

I truely believe that God lets it be known what his plan is!! We had so many signs at the beginning of our adoption process that God wanted this for us. It was unbelieveable. Everything will fall into place. He will take care of things. I believe this with all my heart!!

Janet

[Mommy2M&B]

I just thought that I might share briefly our story with you. My husband and I have been married for 18 years and we have stayed childless by choice. Then last year God placed it in my heart to adopt. I shared this with my husband...After much talk and prayer he said that he wanted to adopt a baby, he was worried about bonding issues, etc... We began the process, We were given the referral of a baby from Guatemala and we accepted, sight unseen. That night I told my husband that I felt that we should adopt an older child also. The next morning I phoned the lawyer and told him that we had felt that it was in the plan for us to adopt and older child also. He asked us to come in to look at a photo he has just been faxed. When we saw the photo and heard her story we both said instantly "She is our daughter." She was a 3 1/2 year old that had a tough life so far. Well, both of our daughters have been home now for 4 months...and just a few minutes ago I told my husband that my testomony was "That if this was a perfect world, these 2 would belong with their birth mothers...But it's not. Considering that, these 2 were born to be our children!!! I am thankful to have that privelege to be used for their good. And they have made us better people by them being in our lives." God just has a way of fixing all that is broken in such a marvelous way...I am so thankful that he has guided my life. We are so willing to go back to adopt an older sibling goup...but a few blocks are in the way as of now. Just as we were talking tonight though I realized that maybe these roadblocks were there because it was more our desire than God's will for us...So, we are praying about this one.
Adopting an older child (She is 4 yrs. old now) is most rewarding and yet a little challenging. The appreciation and love that you will receive from them for giving them a chance in life that they didn't know they had is beyond measure. We are so blessed! (And believe me, as my husband has now learned...our bond with her is a very natural one.)
I will pray for your guidence in this issue. If you have any concerns or questions I'd be glad to send you a reply. And Yes adoption from Guatemala can be a very expensive process, I'll mention your concern in prayer. Sorry that I ended up not being so brief...but considering adoption, that is not always a brief issue...Did the best that I could.
Have A Blessed Day!