[PWRWAGN]

Hello,

I am new to the board and hope that I am not making an unknown mistake by starting this thread but here goes.

A quick run down about me (us).
My wife and I have two bio boys 7 & 11. We decided almost 3 years ago that we wanted to have a daughter. We prayed, talked, read etc.. about it until about 8 months ago when we finally hired an agency and began the process. We originally were going to adopt from Russia, however the Seattle agency we were using lost its license. We then chose to go with a local agency and adopt a domestic infant.

We created our profile about 6 months or so ago and just this last week were selected by two different birth mothers. We felt strongly that one was a better match for us than the other one and pursued it. Our agency told us that the birth mothers wants to meet with us. We have had a few days to think about the meeting and are very nervous as it is tomorrow. I am wondering what to expect. Have many of you been in this situation? How did the meeting go? We know that it is in Gods hands and so if it is meant to be he will make it happen. We are just anxious and nervous about this meeting. Can anyone offer any advice or thoughts?

Thanks.
She is due Nov. 11th!

[HappyTwinsMom]

Congratulations on your potential match! Just one bit of friendly advice...please refer to the expectant mom as "potential birthmom" or "expectant mother." It's considered offensive to refer to her as "birthmom" until such time as she has relinquished her parental rights.

That being said...just be yourself in the meeting. I remember our first meeting with our daughters' birthmom and, yes, it was awkward and weird and all that, but we also just tried to be our natural selves. She wants to get to know you.

Good luck with your meeting! I hope all works out smoothly for everyone!

[SchmennaLeigh]

HappyTwinsMom brings up a great point: especially in talking with her, don't refer to her as a birthmother or your birthmother. Right now, she is simply an expectant Mother.

Best of luck on the meeting. My only advice is to be yourself. Nerves are okay but don't pretend that you don't have any... admitting to nerves and your personal and human faults makes you more... well, human to the expectant Mother.

Best of luck!!

[PWRWAGN]

Originally Posted by SchmennaLeigh

HappyTwinsMom brings up a great point: especially in talking with her, don't refer to her as a birthmother or your birthmother. Right now, she is simply an expectant Mother.

Best of luck on the meeting. My only advice is to be yourself. Nerves are okay but don't pretend that you don't have any... admitting to nerves and your personal and human faults makes you more... well, human to the expectant Mother.

Best of luck!!

Thank you for your thoughts and advice... The meeting went very well. My wife and I are very pleased and we did not call her the "birthmother". She was very bright and seemed like a really good person. We met with her along with our agency representative at her sisters house. We were all very nervous but fortunately we had written out our questions so we could ask her everything we were curious about. She also had many good questions that we liked answering. She and her sister both were emotional at times as were my wife and I. She mentioned that she does not want to place her baby for adoption but that she felt it was what was best for the baby. We shared more photos of our life (our boys, house, pets etc..) with her and she showed us the ultrasound photos as well as some photos of her 3yr old daughter (who was one of the cutest little girls I've ever seen). She wants to meet our boys and wants us to meet her daughter next Friday. She gave back the other adoptive parent profiles she had to our agency representative and only kept ours and told her that she did not want to meet any other families. Now we are waiting for her to say for sure but it all looks good. We are very excited and pray that God will watch over her and this little baby girl. Any more thoughts are appreciated.

[kelceesmom]

Glad to hear things went well. Move slowly and somewhat cautiously from here. Remeber she is the mom until TPR is signed. Now you get to go by girlie things. That is the fun part. Good luck in your journey.

[CovenantMom]

I'm glad your meeting went well.

I met our daughter's birthmom the same say she handed Isabella to us. (We're adopting in Mexico, the process over there is very different.) I'm very happy that I met Isabella's birthmother because when our daughter starts asking questions about her birthmom, I can tell her my own personal experience when I met her. I know her birthmother loves her, I can see it. I can tell her truthfully how blessed she is to be loved by so many people - her birthmother, us. It also gave me a chance to pray with Isabella's birthmom and bless her. Isabella's birthmom allowed me to take a picture of her holding my daughter.

All in all, it was a wonderful experience. Truely a blessing.

I hope the Lord blesses and protects you and your family.

Susan