[Mrs.Brown]

I have an VERY URGENT matter! I know this might not be the correct forum, however I wanted to post where people have already adopted and have been through the proccess. Does anyone have any experience with CPS (Child Protective Services) in California? I have a 15 year old biological son who is severely disabled with multiple problems such as XYY Syndrome, Tourettes Syndrome, Oppositional Defiant Disorder, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, ADHD, and possibly a mild form of PDD. Dispite his disorders he is very intelligent. He has made false child abuse calls against my husband and myself in the past. Other times it would be considered with the relm of normal parenting that was distorted. I.E. About two weeks ago he became violent and out of control. He is very large (6'1") for his age and I'm very petite (5'0"). Luckily (or unluckily) my husband was home. It was a situation where he actually had to hit him to get him under control. He hit him once to stop him and then took him outside of the house to let him de-escalate, calm down and get himself somewhat under control. I called his therapist and explained what happened. He said that he is mandated by the state to report the incident, but that if I call myself it will look a lot better for us. So I called CPS and reported what had happened. They went to his school and put him in the childrens shelter. Immediately the shelter noticed how he is and complained to me about his behavior (he was acting too bad for the shelter to handle). To make a long story short the shelters therapist and social workers said that they felt this was more of a "mental health" issue and NOT an "child abuse" issue. The social worker and her boss were hesitant on releasing him back to our custody not for his safety but for fear of ours (we also have two little girls...healthy, thank God!). It took a lot of talking, but I managed to convince them that we'd be safe if he came home. The worker does not want him here. I agreed to place him in a long term residential facility where he can stay until he is 18 and then go to an adult long term residential facility for the remainder of his years.
I've just found out recently that because we now have a report with CPS we will not qualify for adoption. Even though there were no charges brought against my husband. Is there anyway I can get the reports with CPS destroyed? I have fallen in love with a little boy who needs me. He is in Russia and is disabled. I'm used to dealing with disabled children so this will not be a problem for me. The nature of his disability is correctable. It would be nice to help someone who can actually be helped. But now I'm being told I can't adopt this little boy that I already love as one of my own. I already think of him as my son. He is my son in my heart. What can I do? Does anyone have any advice? This is a real emergency! Please help me get my son out of that Russian orphanage and bring him home to his family that already loves him! Where he can get the help and love he needs and deserves.
Someone, anyone.... please help! Please, please, please pray for us!!!!!!!
Sincerely,
Mrs. Brown

[lucyjoy]

I have no idea how this case came out. My boys made false accusations of abuse in a former placement causing their removal and preventing the parents from adopting again. They hired a lawyer and filed to have the incident erased from their records.
Contact a lawyer familiar with the system.

Fire your therapist and hire one that isn't stupid. Your husband prevented your son from assaulting you and your son should have been arrested. You called your therapist for help and he made you out to be the criminal. The shelter relized your son had problems and may be able to testify that they feel he is the abuser and not your husband.

Also, if your son will admit he was attacking you and your husband only acted to protect you, that will carry some wieght.

However, because your son displays dangerous behavior, an agency may still refuse to place a child in your home while he is there.

Are there any support groups where you live for foster or adoption of special needs kids that can help you? Some foster parent groups have people who can help you deal with hotline calls real or otherwise.

For future reference, unless you feel you are in danger of hurting your child, never hotline yourself. If the therapist had made the hotline, you could have explained the circumstances to the investigating SW and given her your sons history. You could also have explained your urgent call to the therapist for help. I know you can't chang it now, but in case you need to defend yourself again, call the police.

Sorry I can't help more.

[victoria2003]

I had this happen to a friend of ours- If you are persistent you can adopt- you may need to speak to an attorney and it can take a while. I will keep you in our prayers- our friends gave up so close to adopting. But I have seen it where you can explain what happened without emotion .

Victoria

[dr. mom]

Email me please! a similar thing happened to me and we were able to adopt! As long as tyhe allegations are unfounded you should be eligible to adopt legally! HOWEVER the prejudices of adoption agencies may try and stop you! I would love to help you with this! please email me!