[BABYGIRL08]

I am in the middle of adopting a babygirl and have an open adoption with birthmom. We had discussed what we both wanted prior to the birth of the child but now things have changed on her end. The adoption is not final yet (still having post placements visits) but birthmom is becoming very needy and intrusive. She has several supervised visits a year with the baby (to be wrote into the final order). She is already calling, threatning and etc. if I do not drop what I am doing to give her the visit when she wants it. For example I canceled plans one day to accomodate her because she was screaming and saying she is going to take me to court to enforce her visit (she has not visited in over 7 months). I canceled plans and she never showed up for her visit. i want her to visit, thats not the issue - I just want some kind of notice, boundaries, etc put in place and I am unable to do this with her. She is sending messages reminding me this child is hers and will always be hers, and she wants what is right. She is also now wanting to figure out what the baby should call her even though this is something we discussed before and after the birth.

Has anyone else had to deal with this type of an issue before? If so, any guidance would be appreciated on how to handle this. I do not want to live the rest of my life with no boundaries and being threatened to be taken to court. Its no healthy for me nor the child.

[momof2adopted]

We spoke with the adoption agency about the frequent calls and visits.( 1st 3 months 15 calls and 4 visits) All this while our family was adjusting to a newborn. The agency suggested we write up an adoption covenant, with our guidelines as to how many vistits and phone calls. If you would like more info I can PM you.