[kelceesmom]

biggest obsticle in your adoption journey?

For me it would have to have been coming up with the funds to adopt.

Even after having a failed placement I knew we were on the right track but I feared that losing some of the money we had saved for our adoption might push out our next try for adoption.

[JLynn7694]

Its a toss up for me. It is either:

1. The funds. Very similar to you, after a first failed attempt, I am so worried about what this will do long term. We so want to adopt two and I fear that we may not be able to.

2. The total lack of control. I am a control freak and it is so difficult for me to sit back and wait, knowing there is NOTHING I can do.

Jen

[Barksum]

For me it was 1) the emotional toll, 2) having so much intrusion into our privacy, and 3) being scrutinized and rejected.

(We adopted through the foster system. In our state children in foster care are matched via a committee process where the committee considers up to 3 families and decides which one they think will best meet the needs of the child. We had several committees that did not choose our family.)

[megaphonemo]

For the first go round, it was keeping ourselves moving on the paperwork. I don't think I realized how much I was delaying the process. Our homestudy took 9 months the first time - a lot was our doing - duh.....

The second time we had a disruption, and I was really afraid that was going to happen again..... So we were much more guarded.....

Mega

[Amber76]

It's definitely the funds for us. Even after our daughter in Guatemala died, we were heartbroken but still wanted to go forward with adoption if we could figure out the finances after losing so much in Guat. We were very blessed with an unexpected bonus from DH's company to pay for DS's adoption. We'd like to adopt again now, but the funds just aren't there yet. Maybe in 6 months....

[karaboo]

I am still in the midst of adopting, so I don't know that my opinion is really viable yet, but I will weigh in.

So far, it's the complete uncertainty of everything that just keeps me unable to breathe. We knew of the (pregnant) birthmom before we started this whole arduous process. Will she abort this baby? Will she call us? Will she choose us? Is she going to change her mind? Will we pass the home study? Will we be able to get these mounds and mounds of paperwork done in time? Will we be able to come up with the money? Should I pick out furniture and bedding? Should I paint the nursery? Should I purchase diapers? Should I purchase clothes?

It's been like 8 months of free falling.

[jodimarie]

Our biggest obst was signing with the wrong ageny in Texas. Very exp, lots of prmises. Waited a long time. Lost $11,000. Signed with diff agency and was placed in a month. ALL WORTH IT IN THE END.

[mom.mama.mommy]

Taking the first step, LOL.
We have yet to lofficially choose an agency.
Talking together, we know we are in this, wanting it more than anything. but there seem so many things that can go wrong simply by choosing the wrong agency...makes it hard to research when the moment I find the *right* thing, there are reasons to cause doubt.

[Shelly77]

We are adopting from foster care. My biggest challenge is patience with the system when it takes too long for simple tasks.

But we aren't done yet so that might change.

[Chiefs_dip]

I would say it's the not being prepared for all of the emotions that come along with adopting. At first you think - just fill out the paperwork, wait and then adopt your child.
People rarely speak of all the emotions that go along with filling out the paperwork, waiting to be selected, working with a potential birthmother, receiving your child and parenting afterward. I think that's b/c the emotions vary so much situation to situation. For all three of my adoptions, the emotions were so different.
It's hard to prepare for the emotions when they vary so much and can change so quickly depending on the situation.