[kelceesmom]

if we hadn't adopted

I'm not sure what I would be doing these days. My life would be quite boring. But, I would be having more sleep

Where do you think you would be if you hadn't adopted?

[Leigh131313]

Well, I was supposed to start my new job on monday, but on the friday before we met M's birthmom. He was born 3 weeks later.

I assume I'd be working and probably pursuing international adoption.

[bajj]

I would still be teaching. I loved teaching, but love being a Mother even more.

[loveajax]

I think (honestly) my living quarters would have padded walls.

[HBV]

My closet and my bank account would be more crowded, but my heart would be emptier.

[Juliana13]

Originally Posted by HBV

My closet and my bank account would be more crowded, but my heart would be emptier.

Absolutely.

And I would still be working, and by this point would probably be with loveajax - I would NOT be dealing well.

[Bug-n-Bears-Mommy]

Honestly...divorced. I always said I could never be JUST a step-mother...it would be too painful because the EX always accused me of loving the girls TOO much...I was not allowed to love them like a mother does. Now that I have the boys, I know I would never have been able to survive like that forever.

[blessedbybug]

Originally Posted by kelceesmom

if we hadn't adopted

I'm not sure what I would be doing these days. My life would be quite boring. But, I would be having more sleep

Where do you think you would be if you hadn't adopted?

We had a plan for this possibility when we started the process of adoption. We would be overseas somewhere working. Me and Hubby, our little 2 person family... and we would be dealing with the issues of being a family without children, and I hope learning to embrace the possibilities of all that meant.

Or... if that didn't work out, I'd probably be curled up into a little ball. This is a good question, because in our hardest moments of parenting, when we are completely on our last resources, I have caught myself "wishing" for those quiet moments and long sleeps and then as quick as I think of them I remember how miserable I was most of the time.

[HappyTwinsMom]

I'm sure we would have found a way to make our lives complete without having children, but it would have been a difficult road. DH and I have always felt "meant" to have children, but given the strength of our relationship, I'm confident we would have found a way to be fulfilled without children. We probably would travel more - maybe do some mission work - and I might have gone back to school. Other than that, as someone said earlier, my bank account would have been more full, but my heart would be a bit emptier.

[lovemy2boys]

Originally Posted by blessedbybug

This is a good question, because in our hardest moments of parenting, when we are completely on our last resources, I have caught myself "wishing" for those quiet moments and long sleeps and then as quick as I think of them I remember how miserable I was most of the time.

I have these moments too - sometimes I think "It sure would be nice to have a clean, quiet house once in a while" or "It sure would be nice for DH and I to go away for the weekend"...but then I remember our life pre-kids. We'd be in the clean, quiet house talking about our dreams as parents, or how we couldn't wait to take our kids to Disney World. I would not trade a second of our life now! (well, I would like that clean house though...)

[nikkianni]

I'd be a reporter at a big paper, DH would have his degree and own his own business. We'd travel twice a year, own a bigger house and pay to have it cleaned.
But boy would we be miserable just the same. Being a Mommy and Daddy makes all that other stuff seem just like what it is: Stuff.

[DebCsMom]

Not adopting was never an option! I can't say where I'd be if we hadn't because there was NEVER any other choice or option. If I absolutely couldn't have adopted for some reason, I guess I'd be in school again or working full time. We have 2 bio children so I guess we'd do more traveling with them, too.

Deb

[joelynn]

Originally Posted by DebCsMom

Not adopting was never an option! I can't say where I'd be if we hadn't because there was NEVER any other choice or option. If I absolutely couldn't have adopted for some reason, I guess I'd be in school again or working full time. We have 2 bio children so I guess we'd do more traveling with them, too.

Deb

We would be through raising our 20 yr old bio son...who am I kidding??? You're never through!! Yet we wouldn't have the joy of my 3 1/2 yr old dd tearing my house to streads in 10 minutes flat or my 9 year old ds walking in from school asking what's to eat???!!! I probably would have finished my college degree and working in a hospital wherever my dh's job landed us. Wouldn't trade my life for anything!

[musemoon]

Horribly, madly, crazily alone and depressed. No, my kiddo doesn't complete me...but it was time...she was always meant to be with me and our family and she came in the nick of time!

I don't think I would have made another choice, I would have adopted her now no matter what. At 38 years old, it was just simply time to be a mother.

[Shai's Mom]

Originally Posted by musemoon

Horribly, madly, crazily alone and depressed. No, my kiddo doesn't complete me...but it was time...she was always meant to be with me and our family and she came in the nick of time!

I my older son gave me back the joy and zest for life and the little one gave me serenity. It's not something that I "expected", that's just what happened. Incidentally, both are now constantly giving me gray hairs. Along with hugs, wet, sloppy kisses and lots of love.

DH and I had an immaculately clean, well-ordered house and it was so quiet. We'd be doing a lot of travelling, and things that people without children do (concerts, theatre, restaurants)

Living in a country where children are considered a national treasure, it would be a sad life.