[buttercup1218]

Well, I definately don't think that things are okay with our daughters bmom. She was online last night and sent a comment about a picture I had posted on myspace. I emailed her right away and asked if everything was okay (I've done this a few times in the past two weeks) and for her to please write me back. She was online for about 30 minutes after that, and read the email and never responded... I am at a loss. We have always had a pretty good open relationship and now all of a sudden she will not answer my emails. Your thoughts on this??

[kelceesmom]

Well, not knowing the comment and what it pertained to I'm sure I have any advice. Just thoughts that you can work whatever it is out. Maybe she is a little jealous right now? Good luck.

[buttercup1218]

Oh she just said in her comment how cute she is.

[TexasPuppy]

I just read something like this but from the bmom side of the story one this forum under birth parents open adoption - torment on a yearly basis.

Maybe this is something a lot of bmoms go through. There are also responses of amoms at this thread.

I guess I am suggesting you take a look at this thread. Maybe your "bmom" is pulling back from pain. Or maybe not. Just found the thread informative for both sides.

[Jannyroo]

Originally Posted by buttercup1218

Well, I definately don't think that things are okay with our daughters bmom. She was online last night and sent a comment about a picture I had posted on myspace. I emailed her right away and asked if everything was okay (I've done this a few times in the past two weeks) and for her to please write me back. She was online for about 30 minutes after that, and read the email and never responded... I am at a loss. We have always had a pretty good open relationship and now all of a sudden she will not answer my emails. Your thoughts on this??

something has triggered pain? Pain is very hard to deal with and can cause shutdown, as I am finding.

As a bmom in reunion to son in a closed adoption, I empathise with bmothers that are trying to cope with seeing someone else raise their child. I don't think I could cope with that. I too have read a post that talks of the pain she suffers, perhaps that would give insight. I think it was Originally Posted by Arruniel yesterday.

[kelceesmom]

Maybe she is trying to distance herself some as to not feel as much pain then. We as adoptive parents can only "think" we know what bmoms are feeling and we really can't. We can however follow their lead and help them thru the tough times if they allow us to.

[buttercup1218]

Thank you all for your help and support. I emailed her last night and told her that I am here if she wants to talk and told her I would like to know if something pertaining to the adoption is bothering her. She read the email, but never responded. This is definately not like her.

[Jannyroo]

Originally Posted by buttercup1218

Thank you all for your help and support. I emailed her last night and told her that I am here if she wants to talk and told her I would like to know if something pertaining to the adoption is bothering her. She read the email, but never responded. This is definately not like her.

perhaps there is other stuff going on. I had neighbour problems, the like of which..... was doing my head in. My son was being unco-operative and hurtful. I couldn't fight two wars and so I closed down. As my problems were literally on my doorstep (I live in flats) I had to deal with that, and things with my son had to take a back seat before I had a breakdown.

Just a thought. I know my situation is different, but I guess we all have other stuff that comes our way and we just... shutdown. It was nice of you to email her though and show concern.