[wilted rose]

Originally Posted by KatiesEd-dad

Just a question for you and I'm just being curious here, not judgmental. Is there a particular reason that you don't want them to know where you live? Are they bad people or drug abusers or something else? Like I said, please don't take this the wrong way but I am curious.

KatiesEd-dad- Does your curiosity lead you to come up with these particular scenarios with regard to why adoptive parents in closed adoption prefer to remain anonymous?? Kind of offensive, for bfamilies, IMO.
Rose

[loveajax]

I'm not sure from your post if you have the birth gma's contact information? Our agency has acted as an "intermediary" for updates in our open adoption (though DD's birth mom and I also communicate by email and by phone). If there is no agency, and you don't want your address known, I suppose you could send updates without putting a return address on the envelope? Maybe talk with them about setting up a website/blog they could view? Good luck!

[browneyes0707]

Originally Posted by wilted rose

KatiesEd-dad- Does your curiosity lead you to come up with these particular scenarios with regard to why adoptive parents in closed adoption prefer to remain anonymous?? Kind of offensive, for bfamilies, IMO.
Rose

Honestly?
I'm a b-mom and the first question in my head wad the one Ed-dad posed. I get curious like that too

[KatiesEd-dad]

Originally Posted by wilted rose

KatiesEd-dad- Does your curiosity lead you to come up with these particular scenarios with regard to why adoptive parents in closed adoption prefer to remain anonymous?? Kind of offensive, for bfamilies, IMO.
Rose

Nope...not at all...just the opposite. I'm wondering why this adoptive parent is so worried about the birth family finding out where they live considering that they do want contact with part of the birth family.

One of the reasons that I would keep my identity a secret from the b-family would be if they were bad people. I was just wondering if that was the case or it was some other reason. I really don't know how you could draw that conclusion from my post or think it was a shot at birth families.

[wilted rose]

Originally Posted by KatiesEd-dad

Nope...not at all...just the opposite. I'm wondering why this adoptive parent is so worried about the birth family finding out where they live considering that they do want contact with part of the birth family.

One of the reasons that I would keep my identity a secret from the b-family would be if they were bad people. I was just wondering if that was the case or it was some other reason. I really don't know how you could draw that conclusion from my post or think it was a shot at birth families.

I expected that it was; while your intention was honest why not just ask the question then? ex. I'm just wondering are there particular reasons why you prefer to keep your information personal at this time?
When bfamily members and 'bad people, drug abusers'
wind up in the same sentence where a question is posed, I have to wonder...
Rose

[MomOf5Kids]

My husband and I adopted a sibling group of four back in 2005 and we just recently allowed the birth grandma (mothers side) to have visits with the children. What we did with the birth mom and grandma was we set up a PO BOX just over the state line using there birth names only. That lasted for three years. But the visit with the grandma took place at a area McDonalds so the children can play too.

Good luck in your decision....i know that it is hard.

Donna

[gatorkids]

We have an open adoption, but the bmother hasn't had contact in years (her choice). The birthgrandparents are awesome people! ALL FOUR of my children call them grandma/pa. It's definitely been a great adventure having them as our extended family.

I hope you are able to take some of the advice you have found here and work with it as best you can.