[Vogi2002]

Okay people...I need serious help here. I am in a crisis!! LOL Okay not quite crisis but close!

Basically in January, we will be getting about 10,000 back from the tax credit...and will be able to save some of the credit to use next year too. We will also have certain things paid off. Soooo...we have been thinking about moving to this place in Denton...it is it's own community and has private fishing lakes, bike trails, walking trails, "waterpark", salt water pools, tons of parks, little league teams, baseball fields...and more. PLUS the homes are super cute and the HOA is pretty strict so it is very well maintained. If we move there we will be losing about 700 sq ft...and buying a smaller / cheaper home.

Plus, I would be able to at home. And with all the stuff there there is always something to do (they have lots of stuff like fitness groups / mom's group / events, etc)..

The problem is that with all the bills we come out even. No extra money to put in savings...no money to put in 401K (thought when dh gets a raise we planned on putting that in there...he gets one every year)...Now the money I put towards grocery / gas today is the same it is now...so that would decrease (gas money wise..not grocery per say).

AND we will have the tax credit plus also some savings we will save until then (we would move in Jan.).


So...what do you think? Is it worth it? Do you regret it? Financially is it too hard? Did you get too bored / depressed? Were you scared?

HELP!!! It's always been my dream but I don't want to cut it too close...

[kelceesmom]

I would go for it. DH's income changes every year so after the first year you could start putting money away.

And with all those activities you could meet someone who has a teenager wanting to make a little extra money and maybe just work some where a few days a week.

Maybe you could turn your vehicle in for a couple of year older make, with lower payment since you wouldn't be driving it like crazy.

We changed the deductible on our home owners policy that saved us a little for the year.


You can always find a few ways to budget differently and you would be able to with Cooper full time.

[Vogi2002]

That's kinda my thought....and with all the activities we really wouldn't "need" to go away and "do stuff" on the weekends (we are a pretty active couple...just in the sense we like to get out and do stuff...wether it be fishing, swimming, biking, walking, playing in the park). The only thing I wouldn't be able to do easily (since it's pretty far) is shopping but since we've had to save for the adoption I have had to learn to do away with that anyways!

I'm just a little freaked out about being so tight....I'm so used to being able to save money every month or having "extras" for stuff.

Also...I'm sorta freaked out about being a "good" SAHM...you know, Cooper geting everything he does at daycare. Does that make sense? It doesn't help that he LOVES his daycare lady and they are very active.....LOL most people are the opposite I'm sure...worried he's not going to get as much as they can give....

[Juliana13]

Financially was it hard? Yes. Too hard? Must not be, because we're still doing it! You can make it work. You will have to get used to not going out to eat whenever you want, and when you go to the mall, maybe bring snacks instead of buying them there. There will be adjustments, but In my opinion, it has been so worth it!!!

Did I get bored? You bet! Depressed? Sometimes, especially the first 6 months or so after we moved to a new place, - it's hard to meet people sometimes and build up a new group of (non-work) friends.

Was I scared? Not really, I had always planned on being a stay-at-home mom. I DID wonder what I was going to DO all day. Now I know. I spend all day running around, cleaning, chasing two little kids, palying kid games - sometimes boring, but I want them to know they are important to me, and the only way to do that sometimes is to do what is important to them. Then at the end of a day of running around until I am exhausted I ask myself the question my husband wouldn't dare ask: "What did I DO all day?"

Some days it is so hard I want to sit down and cry. And sometimes I do. Then there are the days I feel like the luckiest woman in the world. - and I think I am getting away with some great thing. Poor hubby - in a suit and tie all day, while I am giggling an wrestling and snuggling with my favorite little people. Building sand castles, making cookies, etc. Yes, it is hard. Some days are really hard. But in the end, when my little guy falls down, I want to be the one to put on the band-aid and give him his hugs.

There are those who don't do as well at home full time, they need an "out." You just have to feel it out, to see what you want, what you think would be best for you, and if you wnat to stay home, you can make it work. The rewards have been phenomenal. (The exhaustion is, too, but I wouldn't trade it for anything.)
Good luck!

[kelceesmom]

I think that is normal. You know deep down that you both are loving parents and Cooper's bond will only grow "when" you are home with him. You'll just need to make a little time for yourself since you would be at home all day.

You will find ways, again, to cut back a little. And like I said next with your dh's raise then you can start putting a little back again. It won't be forever before you can save money.

[Juliana13]

Originally Posted by Runyan2002

...worried he's not going to get as much as they can give....

You are his MOMMY!!! They can't hold a candle to you. Yes, you will have to be creative, and make sure he has activities with you, and playdates with new friends, but if you are going to compare his childhood with his mommy or a daycare... There is no comparison.

[rsbg]

Girl, if I were in your position, I would JUMP on it! There are adjustments to make, but I think every SAHM will tell you it is well worth it! And in TX, losing 700 square feet just means a lower electric bill!

I have tried being a SAHM twice while my boys were little. Both times I HAD to go back to work. But I pray and long for the day that I can stay at home again and be there for my daughter that I plan to adopt AND to keep an eye on my now teenage boys!

[bajj]

I would not trade being a SAHM for anything.

I agree that there is no comparison. Please don't say I think day care is wrong. Day Care is, however, an alternative to parents being around to care for the child. Cooper will do awesome, and so will you.

I love it. Like Juliana said, it is hard at times, very hard, but oh it is so worth it!

[crick]

Nat...here's a way you might look at it...

Do what you want to do NOW, for the NOW/near future (say a year). And if things do not work out financially, or you find yourself feeling you'd rather work outside the home for various reasons, then you can change the plan and get a job/part time job.

My kind of rule of thumb for these types of decisions is "I can do pretty much anything for a year"....kwim?

[ourdreamcametru]

I've always stayed home with our three children 17, 13, and three. Hard, yes we have made many many sacrifices through the years but the benefits far outweigh the drawbacks. Our children have been raised with our morals and I wouldn't change a thing. We have a beautiful home and most anything else we want it just takes longer to get it sometimes. We do not do credit so if the money is not there we save! I say go for it today!

[blessedbybug]

Originally Posted by Runyan2002

Okay people...I need serious help here. I am in a crisis!! LOL Okay not quite crisis but close!

Basically in January, we will be getting about 10,000 back from the tax credit...and will be able to save some of the credit to use next year too. We will also have certain things paid off. Soooo...we have been thinking about moving to this place in Denton...it is it's own community and has private fishing lakes, bike trails, walking trails, "waterpark", salt water pools, tons of parks, little league teams, baseball fields...and more. PLUS the homes are super cute and the HOA is pretty strict so it is very well maintained. If we move there we will be losing about 700 sq ft...and buying a smaller / cheaper home.

Plus, I would be able to at home. And with all the stuff there there is always something to do (they have lots of stuff like fitness groups / mom's group / events, etc)..

The problem is that with all the bills we come out even. No extra money to put in savings...no money to put in 401K (thought when dh gets a raise we planned on putting that in there...he gets one every year)...Now the money I put towards grocery / gas today is the same it is now...so that would decrease (gas money wise..not grocery per say).

AND we will have the tax credit plus also some savings we will save until then (we would move in Jan.).


So...what do you think? Is it worth it? Do you regret it? Financially is it too hard? Did you get too bored / depressed? Were you scared?

HELP!!! It's always been my dream but I don't want to cut it too close...

I've been working for the last 6 months after not working since the day before DD was born 3+ years ago. The stress has been really hard on our family. I went back to work because it was a great opportunity to do something I love, that I'm trained for, that I thought would fit our lives. We also needed the money. As of Aug 31, I won't be working anymore, even though we still aren't sure how we will afford to live in this city on DH's income. But our family comes first and the stress we are under isn't worth it.

Yeah... sometimes being home is boring, and it in and of itself is stressful at times too. But we really feel that it is better for our family and will figure it out I guess. The community sounds like a great place to live for a young family. And if you can afford it, and you think it is best for your family, then the $$$ thing will somehow work itself out. You might be on a pretty tight budget but it will work itself out. We are hoping that for ourselves at least.

[Lilly's Mommy]

I've also struggled with having such a tight budget since becoming a SAHM, but personally wouldn't trade being with my pumpkin every day for any amount of money. Not eating out was the hardest thing for me, but after the initial hump, it got easier.

We have lots of play opportunities with other moms & kids from church. I go somewhere almost every day, even if it's just the library, the grocery store, or Wal-Mart. Getting out of the house even a little keeps me sane.

[tanmansmom]

I was a teacher for 11 years before staying home with TJ. My husband KNOWS that we would move into a treehouse before I would go back to work. I couldn't imagine not being with him everyday. We have had to give up things, but they are just things and you will get sooooo much in return. I don't judge those who work, just a difference in philosophy and/or circumstance. If you desire at all to be a SAHM, try it for a year, you can always go back.

[enerad]

We sold our house, and moved to another state so I could be at home with our girls. (also, the cost of living is better, and we are near family) We waited so long to have children, and i am so glad I am home to cherish all that is going on. It hasn't been easy since I never was a "housewife" type person, but I do love being a MOMMY. I taught for 16 years, and have 50 boxes of teaching things in storage. I have worried if I will ever get the job (i had a specialty job) ever again, and then think...live in moment. Another new horizon will come when the time is right. Kids are only young for such a short period of time. Jobs will always be there.