[1147mommy]

My son is 20 months. He will be the middle child in his Bfamily where he is the only one placed for adoption. How do you explain to a child, why they were placed and not the other 2. It's not like there is a big age difference. Her oldest just turned 3 and bub is 20 months and she is about to give birth to the 3rd. At the heiring our attorney (when asked about how Bub came to be with us) stated that the Bparents couldn't provide for his many health needs. Now I know that's not why because we had an adoption plan 2 months before his birth. Is it okay to go with that to save him the pain? Really he did have some major health issues (drug exposure, IUGR, Sepis, RDS, Failure to thrive, Pos. PKU) But we didn't know until after he was born. Any suggestions?

[HappyTwinsMom]

My twins' birthmom is parenting a daughter who is nine months older than them, a son who is four years younger and a daughter who is five years younger. When we talk about it - which isn't often because the girls are simply not interested in talking about their adoption at this point in their lives - we say "C had a little baby when you were born and knew she couldn't take care of THREE babies at one time, so she chose Mommy and Daddy to be your parents." We go on to explain that things in her life changed over the next few years and she was able to have two more children that she could take care of.

I'm sure that explanation will expand as they get older, but that's where we're at for the moment.