[2manyks]

the hardest part today about being an amom is the grief for the bmom. we have spent 2 weeks with our bparents. they went home a few days ago. i miss her. i feel bad about her going home with empty arms. i am over the top in love with our new baby and so is she. i know this will fade with time, but it is a difficult thing to go through right now, today.

[bajj]

It is difficult, isn't it? It's so hard to see them leave with empty arms. You will find that it does come back at times unexpected.

Try to enjoy your new baby. His Birthmom chose you because she felt you would be a wonderful Mother to him. Not because she felt you would grieve for her loss all the time. I'm not saying it's not ok to grieve and to miss her and pray for her and think about her. I'm just saying, she knew what she was doing when she chose you. That tender heart is what makes you not only a great mother, but a great adoptive mother!

OK, my boys have interrupted several times and I have no clue if I have even made sense or not! Hang in there. We're here if you need us.

[kelceesmom]

I know what you mean. Ours went a little differently but I still felt like what are we doing to this family? I am grateful that we have our baby and now I wonder but sometimes still go to the area of what did we do? Enjoy your little one none the less.

[loveajax]

I bawled like a baby the first night DD was born....

I'd like to say it was all joy (some was), but most of it was just sadness of seeing her birth mom in such pain.....A moms have to deal with alot (not that birth moms don't, obviously) so don't feel bad about grieving at one moment and "celebrating" the next...it's such a roller coaster...GOOD LUCK!

[Lovebug]

I agree....for us, it was the happiest day of our lives and the saddest day for them. We are so grateful to have had the experience to meet both our sons birthmothers and spend time with them. But saying "goodbye" was so hard.

--Renee

[reiscmi]

As an adoptee who had a closed adoption, I find this open adoption scenario amazing. I also find your deep compassion for your child's bmom to be a good thing. I know that sounds strange, but I think it is great when everyone in the triad is able to feel compassion and caring towards one another. Your precious child has a wonderful mom in you!!!

[zempagirl]

We didn't get our son unitl was 1 1/2 months old and I have felt guilty at times.. I mean feel so BLESSED that she picked us but guilty that she doesn't get to witness first hand all the cool new things he does.. I told her this and she reassured me that there is no other people she would have wanted to be his parents! That was the most amazing thing to hear from her!

[enerad]

2 and 1/2 years later I still think about our daughters birthmom. I get all this joy in seeing them grow up and would love for her to share in the joy as well. Like another said... they chose us to raise these special children and in a world today where there are many choices, parenting, or abortion. They chose adoption! We have a chance as women to change the world in thinking about being mothers. Open adoption provides this opportunity. Let's keep our children's birthmothers in a special place in our hearts. For the choice they made.

Darene