[Drywall]

crick....every time I see your last note, "6 years into our forever family," it makes me feel warm all over. I hope you will keep it as a part of your posts..."forever."

[anilorak13ska]

I am so grateful for all of the men here! I, too, have very much so noticed the focus being on women - not only in adoption, but in parenting in general. (Quick aside: I'm writing my PhD dissertation on how parenting magazines socialize women into the role of motherhood, and in order for them to do that -you guessed it- they all but ignore the idea that a father may also want to have some of their articles addressed to him!)

I am an introvert. DH is an extrovert. I hate talking to new people, on the phone or in person. Whenever possible, I ask DH to take care of that aspect of our adoption journey. I feel we can balance it out by my having an online presence and keeping up with all electronic communication, and by doing the planning and organizing.

However, as some of you have said, some folks insist on talking with me, and I really wish they didn't. DH would be much better at articulating OUR thoughts, ideas, feelings, and decisions. There is no need to get confirmation from me. And by them forcing me out of my comfort zone, I end up doing a bit more than my share of our "hopeful parents" responsibilities, which I wish they wouldn't do!

So I am very happy to read from so many active and caring dads, and with time, perhaps there will be equality in parenting.

[PackDaddy]

Just a quick note that I also think birthfathers are greatly ignored in all of the adoption discussions most of all. I know my daughter's birthdad struggled as much as the birthmom with the adoption decision. And he has been as much involved as the birthmom since the adoption. Actually he is visiting and staying with us this weekend.