[dupedone]

Hello,

I am looking for any information or help I can find. I have been married to a woman that I loved very much for the past 7 years. She had three children when we married and I was very content being their step father.

Our marriage has been rocky from the beginning and I have tried everything to work it out. A couple of months ago, we decided to split up. I hated it as I grew up in a very loving family and enjoyed that type of life, but it was not what my wife wanted. To make a long story short, she promised if I would not split, she would straighten up and we good have a good marriage. I agreed. Life was better for a while. She pressured me to adopt her children and I did so eagerly as I love them as if they were my own. I thought she was really trying so I was happy we were really going to be a family. Well the ink was barely dry on the adoption papers before she kicked me out. All of my friends and family told me what kind of person she was and that this would happen. I did not want to believe it. Is there any way I can get this adoption rescinded?

[kakuehl]

I have no clue. I suppose you could relinquish parental rights (not sure how you do that).

[crick]

I'm sorry you and your wife have split. I'm a bit confused as to why you want to rescind the adoption though? You say you love the kids and have raised them as your own? That doesn't change with a divorce, does it?

With you as the legal father, you have all the rights to parenting and custody agreements and can have a relationship with your kids?

Do you feel you were duped in order for her to obtain child support for the kids but not have a relationship with you? If that is the case, I'd be angry too. However, in the midst of all this are your children that you love and if you are a father to them, it's figuring out a way to maintain that relationship and putting them first.

Guess it's the old adage of "Love your children more than you hate your ex", if that makes sense.

If you really feel you were duped and the adoption was done under false pretenses on her part, I guess you could contact a family attorney and see what they have to suggest. Maybe consider first though if you really want to be out of the kids lives though and if you really want to not be their dad.

[Lumpkin]

Originally Posted by kakuehl

I have no clue. I suppose you could relinquish parental rights (not sure how you do that).

I've been told that you can't do that in most circumstances due to the fact that no parental rights = no child support requirement, and states don't like that scenario. It wasn't a lawyer that told me this, just another parent in the adoption arena, so take it for what it's worth.

[mdesi]

Well, a birth parent that places could claim duress, so it probably works the other way, too. Get a good attorney and ask. (Legal advice is always more reliable from lawyers.)

[waiting4amiracle]

I think I have to side with Crick on this one. First, let me say I'm sorry you find yourself in this situation. Life sure has a way of throwing curveballs at us, don't it?? So here's what I'd recommend - if you haven't already done so....

Take a step back and ask yourself:

1. If I had not adopted her children would I have wanted to be in their lives after our divorce, even if I had no legal right to be there?
2. If I had not adopted her children, would I have provided support - emotional, financial or otherwise - to any of the three of them if they asked even if I had no legal obligation to do so?
3. Do I love the kids more than I'm angry at my ex-wife?
4. Irrespective of what your family tells you (remember, they're going to be biased against your ex) what do I feel is the right thing to do for the sake of the kids?
5. Can I be a positive influence on the kids' lives in the future?
6. Can I be a positive role model for the kids?

Take a good hard look at the answers to these questions and let them begin to guide your decision. In many ways this is no different than being married, having a biologicall child and then soon after getting divorced. This is going to sound blunt and I don't intend it to be that way - nor do I intend for it to be accusatory - would you turn your back and walk away from your biological child/children because your ex messed with you?

Now, all the soul-searching aside, you should at least explore all of your options. Find yourself a GOOD Quad-A attorney and ask all of the questions you have. In the long run you'll have all of the information you need to make an informed decision and not one driven by raw emotion and outside influences.

Good luck and I wish you the best.