[PackDaddy]

Student finds adoption a real choice - News

Here is a link to a story about our adoption.

Don

[KatiesEd-dad]

Great article, Don. I applaud you guys and Amy for being so very public about your open adoption. Hopefully it will educate a few people who have never heard of open adoption.

[PackDaddy]

Thanks Ed but we can't take any credit it was all Amy. She's been fantastic.

[PKrellwitz]

Just wanted to check in and join the conversation. I'm a step out outside the game here. I'm a "hope to become an" adoptive father, but I didn't see a forum for that.

Hoping to learn a little more about the process from folks who've walked this path. PackDaddy -- great to see your story there. It provides hope to the rest of us.

For background, my wife and I have a son conceived through AI. He's 4 now. The fertility treatment route really doesn't appear to be an option for us anymore, so we're pursuing a domestic open adoption.

We're working with an agency and have had Dear Birthmother letters in circulation for about close to a year now, with really only one serious lead. Guess the wait is starting to weigh down on me.

Would appreciate the chance to vent a bit, and just hear some of the stories out there.

[PackDaddy]

Hang in there. What friends that adopted told us when we started was not to keep it a secret, tell people you are looking to adopt. You never know what will happen, keep the faith and God will lead you. We had pretty much given up when we were blessed and it happened because we had told people we were looking.

[PKrellwitz]

Thanks for the encouragement. I'm learning more and more that you're right. We're going to really have talk to people about it more and really remind folks that we're searching. Take it easy.

[bprice215]

I like what I see. You go Dads!
bprice215

[JLyle]

Originally Posted by PackDaddy

Hang in there. What friends that adopted told us when we started was not to keep it a secret, tell people you are looking to adopt. You never know what will happen, keep the faith and God will lead you. We had pretty much given up when we were blessed and it happened because we had told people we were looking.

My wife has always been a little reluctant to tell people that we're trying to adopt. When you've been waiting as long as we have, it's difficult to have to tell the people you know that, "Yes, we're still trying. No, still no updates."

Our story (the short version): We started out a couple of years back looking at international adoption from Russia, but when that situation started getting very unstable (late 2005-early 2006) we decided to switch to domestic adoption. Working with an agency that we really like, but one which has a big backlog of waiting parents and therefore very long wait times. As of earlier this year, our profile is finally "in circulation" and so we're hoping to get some good news soon.

[KatiesEd-dad]

Welcome, Lyle! Hopefully you won't have to wait much longer. I know it can seem like eternity. We're waiting for adoption number 2 and this one seems to be taking forever, even though we've only been back in the pool for 9 months.

If you have any questions, ask away. There are plenty of people here to offer advice and plenty of different perspectives.

[mondk]

Ed: My hubby is an over-the-road truck driver but has visited these forums with me. I plan for him to get on here if he comes home this weekend and let him tell you our story (actually most of it is on my siggy). I won't confuse him by giving him a new handle; I'll just let him post on mine...thanks for starting this thread. I'm sure glad there are other dads here!

Blessings, Michelle

P.S. Hubby's name is Dale.

[juniormanny]

my name is manny i am 37 years old and have been raising my wifes son since he was 1 year old, he is now 9 years old and im the only daddy he knows. my wife and i have 2 other kids,4 and 2 and our family is very normal. i am very involved in all their lives and all their sports. i am so scared of my 9 year old turning on me or forgetting all the beautiful moments we have lived.i want to adopt him legally and now he will soon have to know. i wonder if i should be there TO TELL HIM WITH MY WIFE OR HAVE MY WIFE EXPLAIN WHY THE BIRTH DAD has never wanted to take responsibility for him. my son has never needed him cause im here with love for him. should she explain her life till the point that i arrive in the picture.

[cetalley]

Hi, I just had to stop by and say how proud I am to hear from some pretty amazing Dads. I am a Firstmom and it is truly enlightening to see some dads involved so deeply. To the last poster before me...sorry don't recall the name...Looking for ways to tell 9 yr old about being adopted by him. The truth is always the best. Might I suggest you and your wife try keeping it simple. Do not put light to the Firstdad NOT wanting to be his Dad. For none of us truly know the reasons in someones heart, as to the choices we have made. He needs to know that you HAVE always been his Dad, and that you LOVE him as if your were his Firstdad. I think as parents if we focus on what is best through our childrens eyes...all will be better off for it. His Firstdad will , One Day have to answer for his actions...or lack there of. This is of course meant only in my opinion. Maybe there are some Firstdads out there who could give you a different perspective. I have found that by belittling the ex-parent only does damage to the child. Again thanks for giving me insight into some Dads' point of views.

[boodersmom]

Hello! This is Mark, the hubby of boodersmom. I haven't created a screen name yet so I am using her login for now. Doesn't seem like there is alot of activity here; we guys can definitely do better!

[PackDaddy]

I haven't been on here in a while. We've started a website about our adoption.

http://www.ouropenadoption.com

Check it out. There is also a blog by our birthmom that is really neat. It's linked on our site.

And we have just finished an interview that will be in a North Carolina Catholic Magazine. I can't remember the name right now but it's supposed to be a big magazine for catholics (Presbyterian here).

Anyway we are trying to put the word out about open adoption as a alternative to abortion or even closed adoptions. Just that it's another choice available that many know nothing about.

I hope everyone on here is doing well.

God Bless.

[oceanica]

Hey Mark and packdaddy,
I am an infiltrating mom here - sorrry - just wanted to tell you how great it is to have you guys and we ladies really value the perspective.
There used to be a guy named Katie's ed-dad who would post a lot and I really miss him... haven't seen him in a while.
Anyway, carry on... I just had to add my 2 cents as usual!