[slanders2008]

My cousin is a pregnant drug addict who will give birth in prison. She has asked my husband and I to adopt the child. Her amnio results show the baby is ok. We don't have any children of our own and would like to adopt the child; however, we are concerned about health care and child care costs. We live in California but my cousin lives in my home state of NC. Do any of you all know of any financial resources that are available for adoptive parents for children who would not be in the foster care system, as we would do a private adoption.

[Mkuhlmann06]

Since it would be a private adoption, than no I don't know of any financial resources regarding health and child care costs. If you are concerned about the health and child care costs and are not sure you will be able to handle them, you need to really consider them before agreeing to placement/adoption.

[mommytoEli]

IF the child required specialized care of any kind due to delays or issues, the baby may qualify for services through your local regional center or school district. i know you can just call the local office, i got the number from my doctor, and request an evaluation. you can also look up the early intervention number for your area and get it the same way. the delays or issues usually have to be pretty severe to qualify. you can also start at the school district that services your community, and they can help with resources, too. services could range anywhere from therapies- physical, occupational, speech, etc, to specialized preschool- paid courtesy of your state. but again, the delay usually has to be significant- like deafness, blindness, reduced mental capacity, significant delays, etc...not just born exposed to drugs.

however, there are no financial resources, like AAP for fost-adopt children, for children adopted privately. unless you qualify based on income, to my knowledge, there is no daycare program, or voucher program, again, unless they qualify for special needs daycare/preschool/therapies through the state.

most likely, your child would be fine, with a few minor delays or issues that would not qualify you for services, but rather just increase your medical expenses fun, right? our son was well enough to attend regular ole' $225 a week daycare, but required many medical tests and procedures. so i'd suggest you have some really good insurance with a low deductible or low out of pocket co-pay. our son was born adddicted to meth, couldn't hear the first 6 months of life, had a heart murmur, a lazy eye, severe reflux, sleep apnea, and tremors while he went through withdrawl for 3 months. he walked late, he talked way late, and had a few other minor delays. he required multiple surgeries and tests.....but he didn't qualify for anything. he didn't even qualify for speech bc at 2 years old he said like 5 words, they said he only needed to say between 5-10 words and so he was just low average. all of his delays were like this, right on the cutoff point of normal.

now, he is a completely healthy, happy boy who has adhd. and that is it. he gets hurt alot, bc he is so active. which again, requires good healthcare as we've taken many emergency trips to the doctor and dentist.....but again, not enough to qualify him for services of any kind.

the good news is since the mom is in jail, she is most likely off drugs, so the baby shouldn't be born addicted, which may make it easier on you should you decide to raise this baby. she should also be receiving prenatal care, which again, is fabulous for the baby.

i agree with the previous poster....if you don't think you'll be able to pull it off, you may want to reconsider. it is alot of work and alot of money i would do it again in a heartbeat. but i have to be honest and say that he is one of the biggest reasons i had to stop working. he required so much one on one attention and medical care, it just didn't work for me to work. we pulled it off, but it wasn't easy. we had to make alot of sacrifices i said i'd never make.....but again, in the end, i'd do it again in a second. he is the light of my life.