[pgjennig]

We are very interested in adopting a drug exposed infant. I have been interested in adopting since before I was married and the more I researched the more I feel we are called to love a little one needing this extra attention.
Problem 1. Finances
Problem 2. Finding a child
I contacted our state 'specialist' and she pretty much told me to give up there are not any infants available even if they have been exposed to drugs. She said in 20 words or less to just fork out the money and get a healthy infant from a private agency if I wanted an infant. (I really don't like the buy a baby mindset!) We can't afford a private agency! And as much as I've searched I can't find any concrete leads on how to apply for grants for the special needs cases. The lady who I thought would be sending me an application for adopting infants only wants to place 7 year olds and above, and I know that there are hundreds of babies born each month needing homes, whether healthy or not.
Please help. I'm so frustrated I want to just give up. But this is the path God has planned for me. I have to pursue it, it is always on my mind.

Thanks,
Frustrated in Indiana

[2boyz1girl]

pgjennig,
babies are something of a coveted treasure amongst most foster parents -- even drug exposed ones. We did get an alcohol and THC exposed premature baby girl, and she was even our very first placement, and 20 months later we are in the process of adopting (no sign of effects from the exposure). But SW's get sick of people asking to adopt babies, hence their response to you. Even when a drug/alcohol exposed infant is placed in foster care, their bparents have every chance to regain custody, and they usually do. If they don't regian custody it would likely be several months, or even years, before their rights are terminated and you are allowed to adopt (NOT an easy road!!!). It is EXTREMELY uncommon to come across a newborn free for adoption through the state. If you want to do foster care, get licensed and wait. But if you tell them you are only willing to take drug exposed infants, you're not going to be #1 on their list of placements for any kid. There are plenty of older drug/alcohol exposed children waiting for adoption, if this is truly the path God has planned for you, maybe you could consider one of them?

[MichaelFLynch]

Hi:

Just curious have you considered adopting an infant say with Fetal Alcohol Exposure (FAE) or Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS)? In essense, this is a child with a "drug" exposure. And, unfortunately, there are far too many children born every year with this type of problem.

And yes, there are actually children out there who can be placed through a private adoption. It is legal, providing you follow your State's rules and affordable.

If you are interested in exploring this possibility, I'll be happy to share more detailed information. My sister, a single mother, is in the process of completing this type of an adoption and it has become a family project. I might add that in her instance, her daughter went home from the hospital at birth with her. So, finding a newborn is also possible.

We have also found sources for assistance or subsidies for special needs children. I'd be happy to share that as well. For us, this has been an intense, 3 year labor of love!

Good luck.
Mike

[brothersearch]

Don't give up on what God has called you to do. My husband and I are in a similar situation. We do have one biological child who is eight years old, but are unable to conceive anymore children. 7 years ago I had to have an emergency hysterectomy at the age of 24 and couldn't understand why it had to happen to me. NOW I KNOW!!! God wanted to use my husband and I for a child that needed a home desperately. We are in the waiting stage of adopting a special needs infant. What we have found out is that my husbands employer will reimburse a big chunk of a special needs adoption and the state will reimburse us almost all of the rest. Our main problem was coming up with the money in the first place. Maybe if you have a church family, family members or an employer that is willing to work with you until you get the money reimbursed. Don't just go by what that one social worker said. There are plenty of infants, especially special needs infants, that need good homes. Good luck and I hope this helped a little bit.

[mj77]

God brought us on this path too. Both our boys were drug exposed. There are many out there! For some reason I am finding that it seems to be easier to have a drug effected infant placed here in OR than in other states. If God brought you to this path, He will carry you through. It is sometimes a long journey though. Both our boys are pretty healthy even with drug exposures. There are kids out there.

Another thing. Finances shouldn't be too much of an issue once a child is placed as you will recieve a monthly foster payment. With it going to adoption, you can then get a monthly subsidy until the child is 18 in most circumstances as well as a medical card.

[MGodin]

Hi,

Our daughter came to live with us when she was 11 months old.

She was born drug addicted. ( herion)
We went to court to testify in her behalf, The judge terminated her birth mom's rights last december.
We are still waiting for a adoption date.
There are alot of babies out there that have been born drug addicted. Don't let the social worker fool you!!!!
If I were you I would do foster care first then see what happens with the birth family.
It's been a long road for us with our daughter. A family member came forward 2 years ago and she left us to live with them.
Then she came back to us,thank god 3 weeks later . very hard for her and us.
She has been with us ever since, but we are still waiting to get a date for adoption.


Goodluck ,
Chelle

[pgjennig]

Thank you so much for your responses. I have been going through a time lately where I have not only given up on adoption and foster care, but had decided I didn't want anymore children period! We have had a few things happen in our life to delay the entire process, but since your post as well as a few other wake ups happened immediately after I spent time in prayer asking/telling God that I wasn't going to try anymore.. I think I better find out when the classes start up again.

Next question for you all. Do you recommend private agency or county? A lady I know is pushing us to do a private agency because there is more one on one with your case worker. After calling every private agency near my area I really feel like I have a much better chance at getting placements for infants/toddlers if I go with the county. I am not really worried about the money recieved since I'm primarily after adoption. She has me scared that all county workers are going to be breathing down my neck because I'm a homeschooling christian mother.

Thanks so much for your responses!

[sfbaymom2000]

I've said this before on other threads, but here goes...

My understanding is that private agencies can access kids all over the state, while the county only deals with kids in their county or possibly surrounding counties. However, the private agencies don't get access until the counties have been unable to place the child, so the private agencies tend to have "harder to place" children (older, sibling groups, severe behavior/medical issues).

We are working with the county and have been asked twice to consider taking an infant. I presume it would be mostly drug exposed infants, as they were probably removed because of a positive drug test at birth. We don't have any problem with taking a drug exposed child, but are looking for 2-5 years old because we want a child closer in age to our 7 year old. You should do some looking in the Foster and Adoption forum on this board. You will find lots of stories who have had infant placements, and quite a few who adopted the babies placed with them.

I think the fact that you homeschool and are a family of faith will be in your favor...not sure why the SW would be breathing down your neck.

Good luck to you...it will likely be a difficult path no matter what you choose!

Lynn