[energia08]

Deborah

Who is this woman?
She who was slave to a man
Who with an unwilling desire
Had to succumb to
His touch
His smell
His taste
His rapture

She who in that moment
Was disempowered
Filled with hatred
Consumed with fear
Lost in time
And in those
Precious moments
And in those
Precious moments
In “X” location
I was conceived

For months
I lay dormant
Renting but a mere space
In a womb
In this world
For I had no connection
And the umbilical cord
Cut
Before it touched the air
Left me in solitude

And it makes
Me wonder
It makes
Me wonder
If she
Felt me
If she
Missed me
And I tell myself
I know she did!
I know she must!
How could she…..not?
But what about him?
Because I am missing
Them Both
But how can you
Miss, Mourn or Love
Someone you never met?

She would not listen
For she couldn’t hear me
And he was deaf to her screams

PLEASE….Don’t leave me!
PLEASE….Don’t abandon me!
And yet I couldn’t speak
For I
Had no voice
Although I
Understood
For I
Had no choice
To understand
To accept that these
Were the “life” parents
God has given me

And I am blessed
For this is my journey
This is Mo’s Story
And I am grateful
Must always be thankful
Can not feel guilty
Can not feel bad
For being adopted
I am proud.

Must stop giving in
Although desperately
Trying to avoid
Trying to escape
And now I say “STOP”
Allowing minds captivity to
Hold me hostage
Any longer
But it is I who has done such

I have begun
To release these shackles
Break through these chains
Lift this weight
And get rid of these negative influences
That surround me
So I can learn how to
deal with these issues that
Hold me back from myself

I Let Go of
A fantasy
A re-enactment
A re-birth of
A crime of scene of
Passion and Pain
Taboo and Secrecy
Trunks, Lies and Money

Let Go of
The pre-conceived notion
That she despised me
For she did not want me
For she did not ask for me
I was forced upon her
Against her own will
And this desire to be one
Brings Pain and Torment
Disgust and Shame
But still I live
I live as if I were she
For his rape
Consumes me

But no matter how powerless
In the moment
She felt
She was Powerful
For in that moment
When water trickled
Down her leg
She felt the labor pain
She had the power and control
And yet she relinquished her duties

Wiped her hands
Clean of my blood
He oblivious to my existence
They Both
Allowed them
Gave them
Granted them permission
To label me
Abandonada
“Monique”
No last name

But that woman
For her own personal reasons
be known to man
Chose to
Disconnect
Disassociate
Reject
Release
She decided to
Let Go And Let Others
Raise Me

3 days later
I was born again
Dominicana
Orphan
Beautiful
Eccentric
Smart
Opinionated
Expressive
Thick-skinned
Curvaceous
Stubborn
Open minded
Confident and
Strong willed

With a perseverance to
Continue
Breaking through walls and ceilings
Making waves
Building foundations
Planting seeds
Preparing my son for the future
For he is my blood

Who is this woman?
She is I

By Monique De La Oz

[sajofo]

beautiful way with words . I'd like to hear more of your story .this could help others. Sally

[various]

I received a letter/poem from my mother, i will admit that i cry a little every time i read it. I haven't found her yet, but I hope it will be soon. This poem was very good and describes mostly how I feel.