[Nataly-del]

To my father whom I have never met:

My persona and character haunt me each day,
I have trouble expressing emotions which I try to convey.
Lingering thoughts of who you might be,
always surround my shattered memory.

Maybe you are a prince in a castle far away,
Maybe you’re a gangster who has finally gone astray.
I dream up blissful fantasies for that is all I know,
the growing pain inside me soothingly outflows.

Neglect me though you did, you wanted me no more;
I guess I was not the child that you were wishing for.
Did I do something wrong to make you feel this way?
Did my crying keep you up all night so you just went away?

I curse myself each day for what I did to you,
But wait dear daddy, I did nothing; I was only two.
You let my mother drop me off on white steps made of rock,
Did I not fill you up with joy, or were you walking up the sidewalk?

Difficult times have come and gone; my family wasn’t there
Dear dad I hope you bear this burden; but for your sake please beware.
When I graduate with high honors you’ll see I’m worth a look,
I hope in the end you aren’t truly a horrifying crook.

Chile does not provide education for the old,
If I ever meet you I’ll let my knowledge just unfold.
My blessings to my siblings, I hope they’re doing well,
I never had the chance to meet them; there’s much I need to tell.

Dear daddy if you’re reading this please know that I still care,
but please don’t think me dense; I know about your prayer.
You did not want a daughter; you wanted a little boy;
well tough luck beloved daddy, in the end I’ll be your joy.

So in conclusion daddy,
I bid my last farewell,
You’ll always mean the world to me,
But shh...I’ll never tell.

This poem was published in my new book, "A Cabaret of Memoirs." My book is available here: A Cabaret of Memoirs

[PADJ]

Nataly-del:
Thank you so much for your wonderful post. I hope you get to reunite with your father at some point and it is a healing experience for both of you. You sum up what so many feel who yearn to meet their birth parent and know where they came from, yet at some level are frightened by what they may find when they get there. I know...I've been there.

Best,
PADJ

[Nataly-del]

I am so glad you enjoyed this poem, and I hope so too. I wrote one for my mother as well. I guess in the end, we will see. ^_^