[doinit4me]

THE SWITCH

I sit in the dark, unsure if I am ready to search for the switch. A switch that will shed light onto who I am. As I sit in the dark and ponder what may happen if I move, I hug myself to keep from crying out. If I make a move what will happen? Will there be something in the way? How far will I have to go until I reach my goal? What direction should I take?

As I sit and ponder this I wonder, am I ready? What if it's not there! What if I never find it! What if I find it and the light isn't bright enough to show me what I need to see...what I long to see? So many questions go through my mind. If I stay still I will always be in the dark. Will someone come looking for me? Maybe, maybe not. Do I take that chance? If I don't move I will never find what I need. Maybe I can do without it. But alas, no one can stay in the dark forever. There are monsters there. Things that only our own minds can see.

Can I move an inch? What if I run into obstacles? Can I get around them? Is there anyone in here with me? I am afraid to use me voice. I have no idea if anyone might answer me. Who might answer me. Maybe only myself. Will anyone find me? If I don't try I will be here forever, in the dark, all alone. I have to try but again...am I ready? Am I strong enought to face where I am when the light is on? Can I stand on my own if I find that there is no light?

My mind plays tricks on me. I want to go in every direction at once. Am I wasting my time? Maybe I should sit down and think about it some more. where should I start? I can't tell how large this space is. The switch could be right in front of me and I may never know it if I don't try. Then again, it might not even exist.

I must try. I must look for the switch that will bring the light. It is the only way that I can ever get out of this dark place. I will go slowly and reach out with my hands. I will feel my way little by little until I find the switch. It has to be here. I have to find it. I can't stay alone in the dark. I hope I'm strong enough...it might take a while.

(I am in the beginning stages of my search for my mom. I wrote this about starting my search. The fears that I am facing regarding the unknown. She is my "switch". I hope you like it...)

Lori

[curiousinmo]

It says what everyone wants (at least in their heart, if not in their mind). I love all your stuff.