[Rose Ekerholm]

My Body Left, But My Heart Stayed With You

You don’t understand or know

the depth of my love for you.
I get scared that you will grow
tired of me, and leave me too.

I’m sorry that I’m so insecure,

but our relationship is so delicate.

To you I’m only your birth-mother.
Just a woman you haven’t met yet.

When I think you’ll leave me, too.
It’s because I left you, first.
So it’s what I think you might do,
because it is what I deserve.

So when you don’t let me know
that you care as much as I do,
My emotions start to ebb and flow.
My love is old – your feelings are new.

Copyright ©2006 Rose Mary West Ekerholm AKA Plethora

[Rose Ekerholm]

I found my daughter in 2005. I wrote this in 2006.

[candace_mandace]

I put my two youngest daughters up for adoption at the ages of 3 and 1, they are now 6 (will be 7 in September) and 5 years old. I get to see my 6 year old and she knows I'm her mom. When I see her she asks if I'm taking her home. I haven't seen my 5 year old since our last visit on December 5, 2004 and I find myself missing her more and more everyday. My heart aches and I cry a lot.

My question is, when you found your daughter, how did she feel? My fear is, Sarah (my 5 year old) is going to hate me and not want anything to do with me. I'm scared she's going to feel that I abandoned her, or didn't want her. How do I prove to her, if I find her when she gets old enough or she finds me, that I missed her and not once forgot about her? Please...tell me your story.

Congratulations on being reunited with your daughter.

[rainmon]

Candace, keeping a journal or diary on your thoughts and feeling for her, even if it only has a few lines per week.....you could keep a small notebook in your purse for your thoughts and when ever your inspired you could write a few lines to add later to your main journal at home.
Maybe "someday" there will be a time that you could ask her if she would like to read it.