[ReOcB42008]

ARE YOU HAPPY? - a poem from Mary Jo Marvin

"Are you happy?" the speaker asks, starting the talk,
With a wry smile and a sigh, my feelings balk.
What IS "happy", and how do you gain it?
Is it peace? Is it joy? How DO you obtain it?
I HAVE felt love, acceptance, chuckles and grins,
though, to be honest, most sincerely, just with "my" kids.
Around adults, I've tried to be "happy",
though mostly it was an act, felt fake, kind of sappy.
I tried to fit in,follow the rule
Laughed, acted silly, goofy, "acted the fool"
Inside, always felt sad, unsettled, in some Life not my own.
Unhappy at school, at work or at that place some call "Home".
Not sure of who I really am,
Just ran and hid in a tome.
When at one place, yearn for the other,
when at THAT place, feel a need to be another!
The exercise is supposed to help find your perfect task -
mostly it just makes me feel anxious, a failure in the present and past.
Is this just a remnant from being left behind?
For not even mother's true love could I find.
Not kept by one, not wanted by the another.
I THOUGHT love was SUPPOSED to be "Mother"!
Now, I am reaching the age of "Mddle"
why do I like a bow searching for it's fiddle?
Not part of a family, between jobs, no money -
"Are you happy?" seems so unanswerable to be not even be funny!
(Note: This was written after an informal women's meeting whereon we had a speaker who was trying to motivate us to follow our dreams to decide where we wanted to with our job life - how we could find out what we treasured so that we could incorporate it to make our job-life more fulfilling. I am unemployed and have had some setbacks health-wise and am trying to decide where I go from here, not only with my job search but the rest of my life).

[katzeyez000007]

would you be interested in having your poem published for others int he adoption triad to enjoy..i am collecting stories,journal entires and poems for my up comming book...i am seeking letters from all touched by adoption and would love for this book to be a source of inspiration and a place others can find comfort and relate...sincerely Dawn katzeyez70@yahoo.com please let me know if you would like to submit something either this poem or possibley your story of how adoption has touched your life...