[AMom2Two]

In dedication of a little boy born May 8, 2004 at 9:49 pm in PA. USA

"Blond haired boy"

You entered this world real early and tough
a gallant fight, one push you were off.
A tiny little boy, only 4 lbs 9 oz.
whisked to neonatal, so tiny a treasure.

But while you are starting to breathe on your own
a battle was brewing about who you would be.
I didn't have any word nor a say,
I could only sit back and watch and then pray.

From coming so close to being our child
to having a future with so much uncertain.
Who will care for you and hug you at night?
who will love you, with all their might?

Will your young father, keep his cool at night
when a baby can't be comforted and doesn't feel right.
Will he heat your bottles, will he change your clothes
will he kiss you boo boo's and wipe your nose?

Will he feed you healthy and cheer at each step
will he keep you safely when there is no net.
What will happen to you, with a father so young
Can he appreciate you, a precious son.

Will your mother be ready to become now a Mom
will she gather her insides and know what's to be done
will she rock you so softy night after night
will she smooth all your fears, will she miss all the fun?

Will she whisper how precious you are to her
will she cover you with kisses and lots of fresh air
Will she live for your moments, treasure your youth
Will she be there for you, despite her own youth?

My blond little boy, I must let you go.
For now there is emptiness where you would have gone
I envisioned a future with your little self
I wanted you, loved you, would give of myself.

I'd give you the stars and the sun in the day
I'd give you my heart, my home, all my days
I would have cherished your heart and nurtured your soul
I would have made sure, you grew up strong and whole.

But now that it's done with and I must let you go,
please know that I loved you with all of my soul.
I grieve for you now, yet wish you best
and hope that you'll learn to give life your best.

Be brave little boy, your future's so grey
Fight hard for your life, your here now to stay
Let the machines do their job, rest up and feel peace
I'm slipping away now, so the fighting will cease.

your almost adoptive mother
5/11/04

*****
This poem was written for a little boy whose mother chose us to parent her son for her. He was due to be born June 13. The babys father was denying this was his child the entire time she was pregnant. The baby was born 5 weeks premature. We were preparing to go meet him. The father now comes forward. He is only 17 himself, same as the mother. We wants the child so now it has turned into a custody battle and no longer an adoption plan. I believe the childs mother feels if she can't give her son the type of life in which she feel's he deserves (by placing him), then she will parent him herself. She feels she can do a better job then he can and I bet a ton of money on it, she's right.

I just wish everyone, all the best, especially the tiny blond haired boy. I'm blowing you kisses in the wind...

[Bogie]

I am so sorry for your loss. We also went throught a failed adoption, and I believe it is the most dificult thing I have ever had to go through. My prayers are with you. Thank you for sharing your beautiful poem!

Heather

[jessica_e]

I know just how you feel. Thank you for sharing.

[hprestonalexand]

Amom2two, words cannot make you feel better, I know. I am so so very sorry for your loss. I will be praying for you.
many many ((hugs)) to you.

[AMom2Two]

Thank you everyone for your kind words of comfort. It has helped so much.
Hugs