[PrInCeSsInNY23]

My mother left the day I was born,
took with her a piece of my heart.
The missing pience has been forever torn,
my soul has been ripped apart.

I know that to her I didn't matter,
or she wouldn't have kept me hidden.
One thing became clear as she got fatter,
A child in her life was forbidden.

Given to people unable to have their own,
who I thought were my father and mother.
Until they told me when I was grown,
you were given birth by another.

They said that in my eighteenth year,
the records could be unsealed.
Even though rejection is my fear,
there is only one way to be healed.

Everyday I sit and wait,
to find out if we will be reunited.
Twenty six years isnt too late,
to know why I was uninvited.



I just wrote this a few minutes. If anyone has any comments, feel free to email me at nyprincess2325@yahoo.com

Jen

[Decision]

LOL everytime I read one of your poems I have tears coursing down my cheek...now I have my six year old on my lap telling me its okay mommy.lol. sniff sniff.

You write wonderfully from deep in your soul.
Hugs
Melissa

[PrInCeSsInNY23]

*hugz* lol. im sorry. i didnt mean to make you cry. thank you for the compliment. Jen

You've done it yet again. You've got me all choked up with your hearfelt emotions. It made me want to reach out and just wrap you in a hug.. (((HUGS))) beautiful!

Love Always,

Carmen

[ashlam]

You're a great poet!
Melissa

[orangekitty]

"I know that to her I didn't matter . . . "

I loved your poem...just wanted to comment on the line above. I am a bmom and I truly believe you matter to your bmom very much. Even back in the late 70's & early 80's, girls were bombarded with the message that they were terrible people if they got pregnant. I was raised that way myself (*very* conservative parents). So they hid their pregnancies as long as possible, to delay the condemnation and anger that would come down on them. Even now a lot of teens are afraid to tell their parents until their pregnancies are quite advanced, for fear they will be coerced into abortions. Even though I was much older when I got pregnant, I didn't find the courage to tell my parents until I was 5 months along.

I don't know your situation, but I believe that even if your bmom is not willing to meet w/ you, that she has thought of you every day of her life.

take care, and thank you for sharing your work

Cec
bmom to Ben 10-20-00
open adoption

[Jessiedo]

Your poem was SO beautiful and touching. I am a birthmother and my daughter just turned 18 this year. I pray everyday that she does contact me, but mostly I pray that she had a 'good' upbringing with a loving family (mom and dad) who instilled a sense of self-worth and confidence in her. I was 23 and her father was only 19 when she was born and no we didn't plan on her, but God did. Please know that your mother HAD to have loved you VERY much, or she could have simply had an abortion. Yet there was some reason as to why she went through the entire pregnancy and delivered such a talented young lady. I hope you find your birthmother some day, but please don't be too critical of her. The pain of giving a child away is SO deep and stays with you always. This was the first poem of yours that I have read and I will look for more in the future. I hope and pray when you find your birthmother that it is a good experience for all involved. I'm sure she will be SO proud of you.