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Originally Posted By befigard

If you are haveing trouble bonding with your adopted children have them tested for R.A.D.'s (Reactive Attachment Disorder) its not widely talked about but very very common in adopted kids

[JoanneFromNYC]

Thank you to the original post for bringing RAD to the attention of those who may not know about it.

[MissieMouse]

Can you tell me more about RAD? What if this is an older older older "child"?

You see, I think I may have or have had RAD....untreated.....when I was adopted at 2 years 4 months......

I'm interested... I'm 22 now.

MissieMouse

[janeliz]

I would think it very likely that you have some sort of attachment disorder. Reactive attachment disorder is just one type. Also, the research and "existence" of attachment disorders is really only 10-15 years old so in your situation no one probably had any idea that this might happen.

I am just learning about attachment disorders as my 5 year old is being very physically aggressive and out of control in kindergarten where she does not do any of this at home. We have found a great therapist who was adopted and had attachment disorder herself, so we feel in good hands. It does not look like an easy road ahead for our daughter (or for us), but we do have hope that we can go back and really bond with her and go forward from there.

Attachment disorders can come for adopted kids even who were placed right away with adoptive parents. Given your story (from the other post) with abuse and possibly neglect and violence, I would think you would greatly benefit from some counseling to get at those emotions and start healing inside.

Probably the most famous book on RAD is by Nancy Thomas - I think it's called something like "Learning to Love" with another subtitle under it. Maybe if you read it you could see yourself there.

Best to you - I didn't dream my daughter had a painful past when we got her at 3 days old and it breaks my heart. Reading your story makes it break again. But we must believe that God can heal and restore!

Jane

[dimasmom]

There are a lot of great resources out there for parents of children with Reactive Attachment Disorder. Check out the board on at this site for issues with older children, moderated by Dr. Art. He was my sons attachment therapist. My son has resolved his attachment disorder.

Nancy Thomas's stuff can be found at www.nancythomasparenting.com. Her stuff is mainly on parenting techniques.

Dr. Art has good information on his website, plus recommendations on books, etc. Check out: www.Center4FamilyDevelop.com. My son's story is in the section labeled "hope".

RAD is definately not a blame the child diagnosis. Maybe blame the circumstances, but not the child. The child and their adoptive/ foster families are the victims here. But there is hope and with the right therapy families can heal. The key is a properly trained therapist. Check www.AttaCh.org.