image

image

 
JOIN 800,000+ MEMBERS JOINJOIN Cancel
image






Adoption Forums®

Members List Photos Events Local Adoption Support Search Arcade Reviews Membership Upgrade
Welcome to the Forums. Register
If this is your first visit, be sure to check out the FAQ. You may have to register before you can post or search: click here to proceed. To start viewing messages, select a forum below that you would like to view or click View All of Todays Posts.
Forum Categories
User Name
Password

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
  #1  
Old 05-03-2010, 06:02 PM
beaglebear's Avatar
beaglebear beaglebear is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 293
Total Points: 4,723.36
Donate
Talking about adoption of future sibling

Hi we are looking at adopting another child. The birthmother is due in 6 weeks. We are wondering when we should start talking about it with our 5 year old. It is a domestic adoption and so it could possibly fall through. We are wondering if we should tell her now to give her time to absorb the info or later as not to disappoint her.

Any advice you have would be great.

Thanks
Lisa
__________________
Lisa Henricks
10/13/04 Referral of baby girl
10/15/04 Accepted Referral
10/18/04 Sent POA for Authentication
10/29/04 POA in Guatemala
11/12/04 DNA a match at 99.98%
11/17/04 In Family Court
11/24/04 Pre-Approval Received
11/30/04 In PGN
12/15/04 Out of PGN
1/5/04 Submitted for Pink Slip
1/10 - 1/13 Pick Up Trip
1/13/05 HOME FOREVER

2nd Adoption
5/2/10 Met Birth mother
5/7/10 Meet with Attorney
5/20/10 Baby Born
5/21/10 Brought John Thomas home
Reply With Quote
Adoption Community Information
Become an adoption forums premium member to enjoy these Membership Benefits:
  • Remove Advertising
  • Unlimited Arcade
  • Unlimited Attachments
  • Increased PM Storage
  • Calendar Posting
  • Larger Avatars
  • Personal Page
  • Just $19.95 / yr!
We'll Search for You!
Virginia
Click here to visit Adoption.com Registry
Don't miss out on finding your match at Adoption.com's Registry. For just $9.99 per year we will do the searching for you. Receive notifications automatically. Plus...find out who is searching for you!
Adoption.com Registry
 

  #2  
Old 05-03-2010, 06:50 PM
JeannineW's Avatar
JeannineW JeannineW is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 1,331
Total Points: 73,790.16
Donate
I would start to talk about it. Kids are pretty resilient to change. Babies come, babies go. It will be devastating to you, but it doesn't have to be to her. I wouldn't hype the big sister thing too much though.

I would just start talking about a baby that will be born soon that MIGHT be able to join your family, but you will have to wait and see. I don't know what state you are in but if you might have the baby and then have to give it back if mom decides to parent, then I would talk about that possibility with her. If the baby stays forever, then make sure that she knows that it is no longer a possibility for the baby to leave.

My kids have known about 1 or 2 of my miscarriages. Their oldest sister died 3 1/2 years ago at the age of 19. They have also lost a friend who died suddenly. They have handled it all well. I think we need to be open and honest with our kids about our own feelings and give them a framework to handle their own feelings.

My sister was distraught when her ds's hamster was dead the morning after they got it. I think he was 3 or 4. His only question, "Can we get a healthy one next time?" I think things are often much bigger issues for us than they are for our kids.

We are in the process of trying to adopt now from foster care. My kids know when we are being considered. They are bummed when we aren't chosen. They are getting a little frustrated by the whole process but so am I. I think it's good to include them in an age appropriate way.

Well, I've rambled on and on. Good luck. I hope all goes well.
__________________
Jeannine
Mom by marriage to Amber (24) and Ashley Nicole (12/86 - 8/06)
Mom by birth to Katie (13), Christopher (9) and Rebecca Nicole (6 - born 8/26/06)
Mom by adoption to Angela (11) adopted from Guatemala at 2.5 yo Referral - 10/25/03 Home - 03/10/04
1/2007 - Preparing to adopt from foster care system.
9/11/07 - Homestudy completed at last!
4/24/08 - Licensed Foster Parents!
2/12 - Still waiting. Hoping we a matched soon with a group in CA.
3/1 - Not matched with CA group.
3/15 - MATCHED with CA group after all Kids are 8, 6, 5
6/17 - Still waiting on ICPC. Bring them home June 23rd for a long visit. They'll stay until July 12th. Then return to us TBD.
8/03/2012 - Home at Last!
1/11/13 - Filed the adoption petition. Should be final in 90 days!
5/9/13 - ICPC hiccup. The wait goes on.
6/5/13 - Problems solved. Papers resubmitted. 6/13/13 - Finalized at last.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 05-11-2010, 05:42 AM
joskids's Avatar
joskids joskids is offline
Senior Member

Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 1,965
Total Points: 39,688.75
Donate
Jeannine- Just wanted to send my good wishes on your future foster parent adoption. I know it's a tough road but such a worthwhile way to travel. Best wishes.
__________________
Josie
Mom to 8 EXTRAordinary little kids and big kids.
4 by birth, 4 by adoption -- how LUCKY am I????

"You must BE the change you want to see in the world."
M.K. Gahndi

Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 05-11-2010, 09:18 AM
JeannineW's Avatar
JeannineW JeannineW is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 1,331
Total Points: 73,790.16
Donate
Quote:
Originally Posted by joskids
Jeannine- Just wanted to send my good wishes on your future foster parent adoption. I know it's a tough road but such a worthwhile way to travel. Best wishes.

Thank you.
__________________
Jeannine
Mom by marriage to Amber (24) and Ashley Nicole (12/86 - 8/06)
Mom by birth to Katie (13), Christopher (9) and Rebecca Nicole (6 - born 8/26/06)
Mom by adoption to Angela (11) adopted from Guatemala at 2.5 yo Referral - 10/25/03 Home - 03/10/04
1/2007 - Preparing to adopt from foster care system.
9/11/07 - Homestudy completed at last!
4/24/08 - Licensed Foster Parents!
2/12 - Still waiting. Hoping we a matched soon with a group in CA.
3/1 - Not matched with CA group.
3/15 - MATCHED with CA group after all Kids are 8, 6, 5
6/17 - Still waiting on ICPC. Bring them home June 23rd for a long visit. They'll stay until July 12th. Then return to us TBD.
8/03/2012 - Home at Last!
1/11/13 - Filed the adoption petition. Should be final in 90 days!
5/9/13 - ICPC hiccup. The wait goes on.
6/5/13 - Problems solved. Papers resubmitted. 6/13/13 - Finalized at last.
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 02-22-2012, 07:35 PM
cupcake17 cupcake17 is offline
Member
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 78
Total Points: 25,416.12
Donate
We talked generically about a sibling. We didn't tell our daughter till the day we picked up our baby boy from the hospital. She adjusted very well and was thrilled. Best Wishes
Reply With Quote
Reply

« Previous Thread | Next Thread »

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

Points Per Thread View: 1.00
Points Per Thread: 15.00
Points Per Reply: 5.00


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 11:40 PM.