[dragonfly1234]

As we go about with our families....whether we started with bio then adopted or vs versus....doesn't matter. For me I am their mom(or you dads out there) and nothing could change that.

The question is have people distinguish between "your child and your adopted child?"

[kelceesmom]

I'm not quite getting your question and maybe because it is early for me???

So here is my answer to how I am ready it at the moment.

Anyone who knows us knows about the adoption. Only having an adopted child everyone tends to forget that she is adopted. I'm thrilled with that because I want her to be know only as my daughter.

[dragonfly1234]

Many of you know that I have a bio son and I also have an adopted son. They both are complete opposite in looks as in personality. My oldest son has red hair and fair skin...my youngest is multi racial and is very handsome with black hair. We get people asking questions and tend to say oh he is your son..."is he your grandson?" pointing to my youngest.

I always say they are both my sons and walk away.

But the question is do people make comments that lead you to believe that one child is less than the other because one is adopted the other is bio?

[bajj]

Michelle, as you know, both of my sons are adopted. However, my own Mother, who is also an adoptive Mother, will introduce them as her adopted grandsons. She introduces my nephew as her grandson and my boys as her adopted grandson. I've tried to get her to see what it does and sounds like to my boys. All she says is, "oh, I'm just so proud of them." Well, that's fine and dandy but please don't make a difference like that when introducing them all!

[dragonfly1234]

Ani that is so wrong...but I realize you can't change that. Just continue to love your boys!

I am lucky that my mom and MIL both refer to our boys as their grandsons. Infact in the beginning both moms had trouble with our youngest who happens to be adopted. My MIL would not hold him. It was a year before she would even hold him. To this day she says it was because I wouldn't let go of him. That may be true to a certain extent but would have loved for her to hold him too. My mom always wanted to hold him.

To this I am very lucky to have parents and in-laws that love my son as much as my other son.

[mrsred]

I do not distinguish between my biological child and my adopted children when I introduce them, I simply introduce them as my children. However if anyone asks I will say that the hhree younger ones ae all adopted. and people ask quite often when they realiuze the two oldest are in the same grade. People will usually ask if they are twins with a very confused look on thier face, because although their coloring as about the same, he (bio) is ab out 8" taller than she(adopted) is! Besides, my adtped kids are all thrilled to tell people about their adoptions. They are quite proud of it! This may change as they get older, but I hope not. It is just a part of who we are as a family, nothing at all to be ashamed of.

[jalapeno]

Well, I'm new to this forum and new to forums generally. So I'm going through old posts! But I'm sitting at my computer, way past my bedtime, just fascinated by the notion that there may be other people out there like me. I have an adopted daughter (22 months), a soon to be adopted son (9 months), and a bio son (5 months). My family and family-in-law have been incredibly supportive. My friends have been as well. The thing that irks me is random stangers and 'acquaintances'. Most people think my two boys are twins. Depending on my mood I'll either lie and say they are or tell the truth and say they're 4 months apart. Why do I get blank and confused stares when I say they're 4 months apart??? Why??? There have been adopted children since human existence began on this planet. Other species of animals "adopt" young. Why should it be such a strange notion? Why should I have to spell it out for people who have no real business drilling me about the specific details? I strongly suspect I'm just getting a glimpse of what it's like to be an adoptive parent. I'm fully up for the challenge but it's nice to know others may be in a similar boat.